Dicta That Made You LOL

[,.,.,.;.,.,.]

"The groans, ineffably and mournfully sad, of Davies' dying donkey, have resounded around the earth. The last lingering gaze from the soft, mild eyes of this docile animal, like the last parting sunbeams of the softest day in spring, has appealed to and touched the hearts of men.  There has girdled the globe a band of sympathy for Davies's immortal 'critter.' Its ghost, like Banquo's ghost, will not down at the behest of the people who are charged with inflicting injuries, nor can its groanings be silenced by the rantings and excoriations of carping critics." Fuller v Illinois Cent R Co, 56 So 783, 786 (Miss 1911).

"Nor will she be the last after today’s decision, which announces the safest place to secrete contraband in school."  Safford v Redding.

[Matthies]

This entire case: http://mithras.blogs.com/blog/bradshaw.pdf

and this



On the evening of May 29, 2003, Hayden was smoking crack with three other folks at a trailer park home on Chain of Rocks Road in Granite City, Illinois. Murphy, Sr.  , who had sold drugs to Hayden several years earlier, showed up later that night. He was friendly at first, but he soon called Hayden a "snitch female dog hoe" (footnote 1) and hit her in the head with the back of his hand….

(footnote 1) The trial transcript quotes Ms. Hayden as saying Murphy called her a snitch female dog "hoe." A "hoe," of course, is a tool used for weeding and gardening. We think the court reporter, unfamiliar with rap music (perhaps thankfully so), misunderstood Hayden's response. We have taken the liberty of changing "hoe" to "ho," a staple of rap music vernacular as, for example, when Ludacris raps "You doin' ho activities with ho tendencies."
406 F.3d 857

[Jamie Stringer]

On the evening of May 29, 2003, Hayden was smoking crack with three other folks at a trailer park home on Chain of Rocks Road in Granite City, Illinois. Murphy, Sr.  , who had sold drugs to Hayden several years earlier, showed up later that night. He was friendly at first, but he soon called Hayden a "snitch female dog hoe" (footnote 1) and hit her in the head with the back of his hand….

(footnote 1) The trial transcript quotes Ms. Hayden as saying Murphy called her a snitch female dog "hoe." A "hoe," of course, is a tool used for weeding and gardening. We think the court reporter, unfamiliar with rap music (perhaps thankfully so), misunderstood Hayden's response. We have taken the liberty of changing "hoe" to "ho," a staple of rap music vernacular as, for example, when Ludacris raps "You doin' ho activities with ho tendencies."
406 F.3d 857

Possibly the most awesome thing to come out of the court.  Perhaps the entire legal profession.  Ever.

[Talk Is Cheap]

This entire case: http://mithras.blogs.com/blog/bradshaw.pdf

and this



On the evening of May 29, 2003, Hayden was smoking crack with three other folks at a trailer park home on Chain of Rocks Road in Granite City, Illinois. Murphy, Sr.  , who had sold drugs to Hayden several years earlier, showed up later that night. He was friendly at first, but he soon called Hayden a "snitch female dog hoe" (footnote 1) and hit her in the head with the back of his hand….

(footnote 1) The trial transcript quotes Ms. Hayden as saying Murphy called her a snitch female dog "hoe." A "hoe," of course, is a tool used for weeding and gardening. We think the court reporter, unfamiliar with rap music (perhaps thankfully so), misunderstood Hayden's response. We have taken the liberty of changing "hoe" to "ho," a staple of rap music vernacular as, for example, when Ludacris raps "You doin' ho activities with ho tendencies."
406 F.3d 857

It's kind of a shame that Judge Kent is no longer able to give us these epic opinions anymore...

[,.,.,.;.,.,.]

That's Evans on the 7th, not Kent in some random Texas jurisdiction.

Carnes on the 11th is snarky, too.  Kozinski, obviously.  I think that Boggs can write witty opinions.