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Author Topic: Law school and relationships  (Read 776 times)

cs0620

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Law school and relationships
« on: May 06, 2009, 06:47:27 PM »
I am in a very complex situation.  I come from a backwards state that I wish to move out of some day, but have to save up first adn of course for law school itself.  I am dating someone who is beginning med school in the fall and has chosen to go to school in Boston, which is very, very far away.  I have always wanted to leave the state, so this can be a good opportunity.  However, I know that medical school and law school are extremely intense.  I really love this person, and the person wants me to come with and have also told me that they love me.  I am just freaking out because I don't want to lose the person I am with, though odds are not great for people like us to stay together.

  The person I am dating got accepted into BU and received good financial aid and it was a wonderful thing to them because they thought that they wouldn't be able to go to a nice institution like that one.  I am just worried as hell right now what to do.  I am worried of all the usual things in relationships, but now add in a move and both of us going to professional school and this just makes it a real headache. 

Lots of people are telling me to just go for it, but to be prepared since Boston is an expensive city.  Others are saying that I should just cool it because our careers are complicated and may not allow relationships in our educations as well as other things.  Plus, I am 24 and never lived on my own before and my parents are a bit old fashioned.  I know that they will probably not like it, plus they wouldn't be able to help me if I ever got in financial trouble since they are barely making it themselves. I just don't know if I can find another person like them and it will hurt like nothing ever before to lose them.  I know that long distance relationships are tough to make work, even if one does plan to be with the other in a few months.

Jobwise, it has been s struggle for me to get one where I live.  One place in Boston offered me a job but I wouldn't be able to take it because they would want me to move right away and the pay isn't good.  It has been mroe than I am getting out here though. 

This is just driving me crazy because I want to go to law school, but I also want to be with this person, but I wonder if all this is compatible.  Can anyone enlighten?
The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger - but recognize the opportunity.

John F. Kennedy

vap

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Re: Law school and relationships
« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2009, 07:13:00 PM »
Quote
This is just driving me crazy because I want to go to law school, but I also want to be with this person, but I wonder if all this is compatible.  Can anyone enlighten?

This is a personal decision you have to make.  Everything could work out fine, or you could end up breaking up.  Both of you will have to devote significant amounts of time away from each other.  But even if the relationship fails, at least you'll have some more/different life experience.  It sounds like you'd like to leave your current location and try to make it on your own (sans-parents).  If your significant other is asking that you come with him/her, I would hope that he/she is offering to help you out financially (at least allowing you to live with him/her) before you get your feet on the ground.  You definitely do not want to fall into debt before law school.  If everything makes sense financially, I say go for it. 

Boston has a great school (Harvard), good regional schools (BU/BC), a good local school (Northeastern), and some other local schools (Suffolk/New England/Western New England).  You would have plenty of choice if you want to go to school in Boston.  However, the more mobile you are, generally the more opportunity you will have to choose the school best for you (based on rank, location, and scholarships).

cs0620

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Re: Law school and relationships
« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2009, 06:35:31 PM »
Yeah, he has offered to let me live with him.  I don't know much more that he can do since he'll barely be making it as well.  My plan is to go to law school in 2010, so I will work and prepare up until I begin class. 

Have you been in a similar situation?  I am just trying to see how others have done.
The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger - but recognize the opportunity.

John F. Kennedy

cs0620

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Re: Law school and relationships
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2009, 12:01:29 PM »
Wow.  Thank you so much, Chuck.  I was feeling so grim, but people here have given me hope. 

He has said that he is willing to wait for me to join with him in Boston, so I think that is a good sign.

I would have never thought of the folder thing. 

As far as the cell thing, I better get scrambling then.  Verizon doesn't have too many good options for me here.  I may have to get my own plan since my family's plan only has 1400 min for 4 of us.  Therefore, I think it may be good to get my own thing.  I can see what you're saying.

Thanks again.
The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger - but recognize the opportunity.

John F. Kennedy

cs0620

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Re: Law school and relationships
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2009, 02:26:26 PM »
Thanks. 

Hopefully it won't come down to that, haha.  Good thing I do use gmail then for that and other things that I gotta do too. 

Are you yourself in law or is your gf? 
The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger - but recognize the opportunity.

John F. Kennedy