Should I Move Away from My Family to Attend Law School?

[Farfan1]

I have the same kinda deal going here.  My wife and I are in the Air Force and just heard we are relocating to Valdosta, Georgia from Germany.  The only three schools that are close by are UF, FSU, and Florida Coastal.  I have thought at great length about leaveing them for the 3 years and just going back and forth, roughly once a month and summers, but just not worth it.  I would rather go to FCSL than leave my wife and 2 kids (11 and 6).     

[haulin_oats]

No, you should not. Absolutely should not.

[Fizz1]

Should not what?  Go to Coastal?  Why?

[Ninja1]

I have the same kinda deal going here.  My wife and I are in the Air Force and just heard we are relocating to Valdosta, Georgia from Germany.  The only three schools that are close by are UF, FSU, and Florida Coastal.  I have thought at great length about leaveing them for the 3 years and just going back and forth, roughly once a month and summers, but just not worth it.  I would rather go to FCSL than leave my wife and 2 kids (11 and 6).     

All three are close enough that you could go back on the weekends.

But no, you would rather not go to Coastal. Just don't even think about it.

[Ninja1]

Should not what?  Go to Coastal?  Why?

You must be new here... and to all law school forums on the internet.

Short answer: Because it's a really bad idea.

Long answer: It's a hole that isn't even respected in its own city, much less anywhere else. A recent transfer from there to FSU reports that it's so bad, it's actually easier to find work outside of Jacksonville than in Jacksonville because the school has such a bad rep there. Said former Coastal student also reports that virtually everyone is striving to get high enough grades to transfer and that causes a horrible atmosphere where most people will screw over everyone else if it means they can get out, the curve is brutal, and it's all black letter law. The tuition is high, scholarships are wanting, it's a for-profit school, and you stand about a 20% chance of failing out. I could go on, but that should be enough.

If you can't get into at least one of the 6 decent law schools in Florida (if you still want to count Nova as decent), you should probably write off law school as a dream that will not be realized.

[JDWannaBeNC]

I doubt you're still around and I know this decision deadline has passed... but if the OP ever makes it back here... I want to share the following...

With the encouragement of my husband, I deposited to this school. However, I am now extremely nervous and having second thoughts. How can I leave my family behind? I don't want my son to have psychological issues for the rest of his life. I worked as a social worker for several years and have seen the grim consequences of children from broken homes as well as those with negligent parents. A 15 year old girl I once worked with took her own life; as a child, she had to live with her aunts for three years while her parents were in law school (and I guess never got past the trauma).

I don't know what to do. Should I wait another year (and take the lsat for the third time in eleven years), or just take the bait and hope to transfer back in a year? 

I'm a social worker too. Yay social workers...  but, as such, you know better than to compare yourself to a negligent parent.  Following your dream of completing another advanced degree is in NO WAY similar to a parent who abuses and or/neglects their child.  You are being WAY too hard on yourself and limiting your thinking to only our cultural standards.  Come on, think like a social worker who hasn't been burnt out by a broken system.  Ha. 

Think about other cultures where it's perfectly normal for children to go away to school for their entire childhoods.  They aren't severely emotionally damaged.  The families aren't ripped apart.  That situation is not that much different from you going away to school.  Even in our own country, LOTS of families have parents who travel for work.  Military families face deployment, etc.  Regardless of your personal beliefs, I doubt that you would say that a military family is negligent to their children because they comply with orders to ship out.

I think you are being way too hard on yourself and it's likely similar thinking that's kept you out of school for the last 10 years.  Of course, this is the internet, and it's easy for me to point a finger.  Mostly, because I'm in the same boat, a billion excuses not to take a chance on what I want to do in order to "help" my family.  In the end, though, they are going on and living their lives and I'm the only one with this self-destructive need to put aside my happiness in lieu of their flight of fancy.

Now, I know that's not very social workery of me to say.  I should say, "I hear you, that must be a difficult decision. I don't have children myself so I can't possibly understand what you are going through but I'm here to listen if you want to talk about it some more."  I'm not on the clock though, and neither are you, and what I wrote above is true and I think you know it.  You are speaking in extremes... one case study does not equal a trend.  It's just the fear talking.

Lots of parents (and you know this) are home 24-7 for their kids and they screw them up beyond belief... and lots of children come from single family, broken homes who grew up to be intensely compassionate, unique, and overall exceptional people.  Heck, I WISH my parents would have left me with an aunt for 3 years.... ha.  It's almost insulting to parents who choose lifestyles other than stay at home mom to have it publicly stated that children might be ruined for life if a parent makes a nontraditional decision once in a while.  It takes a LOT more than that to ruin a life... research, time and time again, has proven it to be true.

I just felt like I wanted to take the hard-edged road, one social worker to another.  Stay strong, you got this if you let yourself...and I'd like to know what you chose in the end. ok?  Also, super congrats on the full ride!!!  If you didn't take it, I'll take it!   Be well.