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Author Topic: tear apart my disciplinary addendum  (Read 1173 times)

thepickle

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tear apart my disciplinary addendum
« on: November 13, 2008, 02:46:27 PM »
so this is the last thing I am writing for my applications...and the thing I've put off the longest. Is this too short for a disciplinary addendum? It just sounds awful to me. If you could make any suggestions, it would be much appreciated:

Dear Sir or Madam:

   I am writing to describe the nature of the disciplinary action taken against me during my undergraduate career. During my freshman year, I was cited by a resident assistant twice for dormitory infractions. In the first instance, beer cans were found in my dorm room. As a result, I had to remove the beer cans, and I was asked to complete a student-run on-line course about the dangers of underage drinking.  Later in the year, I was caught showering with a female in a communal dormitory shower. As a punishment, I attended a half-hour counseling session and wrote a letter of apology to my fellow dormitory residents. I realize that these actions were foolish and immature, and I have been conscious not to make any similar mistakes during my subsequent three years in college. If you should have any further questions regarding these matters, please feel free to contact me.

Again...any comments/critiques are welcome

CTL

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Re: tear apart my disciplinary addendum
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2008, 02:59:00 PM »
There are two infractions, so it should be "the nature of the disciplinary ACTIONS". 

I would add two sentences after "I realize that these actions were foolish and immature, and I have been conscious not to make any similar mistakes during my subsequent three years in college."  One should speak to WHY you realized the beer cans was foolish/immature; the other should speak to WHY you realized the showering was foolish/immature.  You could say something about how you understand that those decisions were foolish because they were violations of known policies, policies that are meant to keep all students in the dorm safe and comfortable. 

Other than that, it is short and sweet.  I think it is very good.
If looks could kill, you would be an uzi.

CTL

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Re: tear apart my disciplinary addendum
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2008, 04:40:18 PM »
My mom says I'm tall for my age!   :'(
If looks could kill, you would be an uzi.

Imperial Russian Stout!

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Re: tear apart my disciplinary addendum
« Reply #3 on: November 13, 2008, 07:09:57 PM »
Perfect. You may want to include dates though.  Numerous apps I submitted specifically asked for dates.

alethea

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Re: tear apart my disciplinary addendum
« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2008, 11:43:32 PM »


You might want to post a picture of the girl you were caught showering with.

randyers09

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Re: tear apart my disciplinary addendum
« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2008, 11:47:13 PM »


You might want to post a picture of the girl you were caught showering with.

i agree, it could justify the action.... or vice versa

alethea

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Re: tear apart my disciplinary addendum
« Reply #6 on: November 13, 2008, 11:51:48 PM »
Seriously though, if the school is going to have a communal co-ed shower, how can they really get mad about things like this?  Unless they were doing more than just showering, and making a scene about it.

CTL

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Re: tear apart my disciplinary addendum
« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2008, 12:04:48 AM »
Seriously though, if the school is going to have a communal co-ed shower, how can they really get mad about things like this?  Unless they were doing more than just showering, and making a scene about it.

Either way, the RA must have been a real tool.  Only in the US is this even an issue.  Showering with a member of the opposite sex...you'd think someone cursed on the radio...
If looks could kill, you would be an uzi.

Imperial Russian Stout!

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Re: tear apart my disciplinary addendum
« Reply #8 on: November 14, 2008, 02:28:17 AM »
RA's are tools period.