I feel like you need to focus more on one topic: BE SPECIFIC!
1. I know that Katrina was a big part of your life experience, but the truth is, from what I've seen, that adcomms have had too much of katrina and 9/11. Unless you are writing about katrina herself, keep it to just a brief mention. -> 1 Sentence. "I was a student at layola. Returning in the wake of katrina the devastation disheartened me. I went to buenos Aires ..."
2. Your transitions in a few places are hard to find. Remember that adcomms will be reading these things REALLY fast, I got lost when you started talking about spanish because I missed your sentence that said you were going to south america.
3. I think you can drop the why law stuff. Adcomms read a lot of that stuff, and supposedly it all starts to look the same. instead, use the space to describe the atmosphere, the classroom, the bars to paint a picture. If you wanted to tie in the four lawyers section, I advise writing that in as more of a "I saw how law really connects everything." adcomms are smart, they can read between the lines and see how that made an impression on you about being a lawyer without you telling them that you always wanted to be a lawyer. "I have always been interested in law" is kind of a throw away line that many, many, many PSs will have. don't waste the space.
4. Finally, write more about how you felt. Try to use metaphors to connect the adcomms to the emotions and mental situation you were in. I'm sure you felt disoriented, try something like "My mind was spinning, almost like I was drunk. Everything I saw seemed distorted, very like what I knew and was comfortable with, but slightly off, too long or too colorful." Or whatever, you can make it better... The point is to tell the adcomms not just WHAT you experienced (people from many countries) but also how that affected you and what you were going through during that experience. Hopefully, you can use that to communicate to them
what kind of person you are and
how you think.
Remember the cocktail party analogy, they want people who have interesting experiences and interesting patterns of thought.
I hope that helps, I know it's long and disorganized, but I felt like trying to help someone and I feel your pain

Sheltron