i just started 2L and its been the battle of the feelings- my grades last year sucked, but i did get a summer job at least working at afirm. ive been rejected from every OCI and my outlook is bleak. whats more is that i cant sleep at night worried about having no money and no grades to get a job. further, i live in a crap town with crap people and its a struggle to get to class each day, much less even read. i mean, why is con law so f-ing boring? why is evidence so f-ing confusing. why is fed tax so f-ing intricate? why do all my classes suck? i feel like im going to fail every exam because i cant get into the groove.is this normal?
I think it's partly normal considering your first year grades. Most 1Ls think they'll do well, as they always have. The class rankings make that impossible. So, when you get surprised by being in the bottom of your class, you go through the 5 stages of grief, whatever they are...something like 1. denial, 2. anger, 3. bargaining, 4. depression, 5. acceptance. lol. Seriously, though, that's not far from the truth. I kind of meant that as a joke, but I think there might be some truth to it. Essentially, I had the same thing happen. Bad 1L grades (about 85th percentile), got a job that summer, then got dinged completely by OCI in the fall. 2L summer was at a place that doesn't hire new law grads (but at least I knew that going in...They have 10-15 senior lawyers and always hire a law clerk to do research). Not sure if I was ever in denial, but I sure was pissed and angry, then I went through all sorts of doubt and researched doing other things (like pursuing something else instead of law), so I suppose that was bargaining. Then I started sleeping a lot and missed classes, put on 15 pounds (since lost), so I guess that was depression. Then I said, "@#!* it, there's nothing I can do to change it" and started worrying about the future rather than the past. Acceptance! Ended my final 2 years with a range of 3.6-4.2 semesters and shot myself up in the rankings.I went on to graduate cum laude from a high-ranked school at about the 30th percentile of the class. Alas, now it's starting all over again....I passed the bar and there aren't any jobs (remember, OCI didn't pan out, so I didn't have a chance to work for a firm that gave me an offer at the end of 2L summer). Everywhere I turn, "wow, great resume, unfortunately we aren't looking to hire right now." Or, the worst (when the conversation turns to the banter about bar exam experiences) : "Oh yeah, that's right, bar results come out soon...we usually have one or two guys waiting on results who have just started, so I'm usually more aware of when it is. Not this year, though. I have a couple of friends who might be interested, I'll forward your resume and see if they have something." 2 days later, without fail: "Mqt, hope you're doing well. Great meeting you. I talked to those friends I was telling you about, unfortunately, they are hiring right now, either."
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