HELP: Addendum Readers Please

[California_RedRaider]

Hi Everyone,

I need a lot of help with my addendum.

It's too long and I think it's a bit cold.

Whatever you can offer would be greatly appreciated.

Hearts,
california_redraider


edit: For improvements.

[heartbreaker]

That's a little too detailed and also, doesn't really give the impression that you're NOW able to better deal with emotional and circumstantial difficulties. In fact, it makes it sound like another tragedy would derail you in the same exact way. Nor does it prove that your GPA does not reflect your capabilities.

My suggestion would be to cut down on the details, especially of your friend's death. Also, talk more about how you've recovered and strengthened your resolve since these events.

[blueskies6]

Agreed...it's a little too intense and doesn't show how things are going to be different for you in law school

[California_RedRaider]

Thank you for the comments.

[America's Next Top Lawyer]

I would cut down on some of the detail but don't cut out too much. Because you can imagine how many people have had similar circumstances and are writing similar addendums. So just saying that 2 people close to me died may not be enough to fully portray the gravity of the situation. So i like your approach, just remove a few details and say what you have learned from this experience and how the life lesson will help you with law school. But don't go over 1 page with this addendum.