Could someone critique my PS?

[youarehydrogen]

I have been working on my personal statement for awhile now, but still feeling like its lacking something, specifically an ending. If a few people would be willing to critique it for me, I would gladly return the favor. Just let me know, and I will send it over to you. Thanks in advance!

[youarehydrogen]

Nobody? I would be happy to critique someone elses in return. I just want some feedback. Thank you.

[convicted]

You can send it to me. In fact, if anybody else has anything for review, feel free to send it to me also.

[pirouette06]

I'll look it over and give you my 2 cents  PM me.

[Lindsay Funke]

I don't mind, PM me and I'll tell you what I think

[blueskies6]

I'd be happy to trade you