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Author Topic: Having a girlfriend during 1L  (Read 7535 times)

Tetris

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Re: Having a girlfriend during 1L
« Reply #10 on: May 02, 2008, 06:26:18 PM »
Ive been with a girl for roughly a year. Shes a drama queen but still a lot of fun, caring etc. Im thinking about just breaking up with her this month because i dont know how i feel about having a gf during 1L year... that way i have the summer to get over the breakup and i can focus only on school come fall, otherwise i would risk a mid semester breakup which I assume is detrimental to your performance during first year.

Thoughts on relationships during law school? 

i notice you didn't say anywhere in this post that you love her.

dump her.

Zam!
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just some guy

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Re: Having a girlfriend during 1L
« Reply #11 on: May 02, 2008, 06:38:52 PM »
YOU'LL GET IN EVERYWHERE YOU APPLY!!!

Stevens is much, much funnier when he's been drinking.
I have courted the fire for a very long time, and many sparks have flown in the past, but [this post] speaks, finally, the language of the flame itself.
with apologies to Keith Jarret

Tetris

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Re: Having a girlfriend during 1L
« Reply #12 on: May 02, 2008, 06:45:54 PM »
Ive been with a girl for roughly a year. Shes a drama queen but still a lot of fun, caring etc. Im thinking about just breaking up with her this month because i dont know how i feel about having a gf during 1L year... that way i have the summer to get over the breakup and i can focus only on school come fall, otherwise i would risk a mid semester breakup which I assume is detrimental to your performance during first year.

Thoughts on relationships during law school? 

i notice you didn't say anywhere in this post that you love her.

dump her.

Zam!

You still exist, huh?

Huh? I do?
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OldFart

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Re: Having a girlfriend during 1L
« Reply #13 on: May 02, 2008, 08:06:07 PM »
nm, sent as PM.

UnoriginalAndrew

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Re: Having a girlfriend during 1L
« Reply #14 on: May 02, 2008, 08:14:55 PM »
Sounds like your relationship sucks and you'd both be better off apart, regardless of law school. 

TITCR

If you're so willing to just break up with her for no real reason, you shouldn't be dragging her along for the ride - no matter how good the consistent action is.

Well...unless it's REALLY good.

Reason: I want to avoid the risk of a mid semester breakup or worse during finals. Who knows how a girl will react to suddenly losing a bf to the library...I'm just thinking it would be wise to breakup now vs. taking the risk

Touche.  I take back my previous snide remarks -- it seems like all of my breakups have come right before finals.
I Choo-Choo-Choose you:  Boston College Law School, Class of 2011

Lampshade Punk

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Re: Having a girlfriend during 1L
« Reply #15 on: May 02, 2008, 08:43:44 PM »
seeking relationship advice on message boards ftl.  hth.

skeeball

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Re: Having a girlfriend during 1L
« Reply #16 on: May 02, 2008, 09:20:41 PM »
Is she in town or would it be long-distance? Most people I know who had long-distance relationships before the year started have broken up by now. People who's SO is in town have stayed together.

It is possible to have a functioning relationship and 1L year. jsia.

tylersd

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Re: Having a girlfriend during 1L
« Reply #17 on: May 04, 2008, 12:11:38 AM »
I think you should end it. I told my girlfriend that if we stayed together while I was a 1l I would get bad grades, probably up homeless and she would then dump me for some dude that broke up with his girlfriend before going to law school.
WL: columbia, upenn, mich, georgetown, ucla
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Astro

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Re: Having a girlfriend during 1L
« Reply #18 on: May 04, 2008, 07:34:22 AM »
Ive been with a girl for roughly a year. Shes a drama queen but still a lot of fun, caring etc. Im thinking about just breaking up with her this month because i dont know how i feel about having a gf during 1L year... that way i have the summer to get over the breakup and i can focus only on school come fall, otherwise i would risk a mid semester breakup which I assume is detrimental to your performance during first year.

Thoughts on relationships during law school? 

I don't know... I think good relationships are worth keeping.  Your girlfriend/boyfriend is supposed to be a source of support, not stress.  If you are viewing her as more of a source of stress, that probably says something.


This is, very succinctly, the credited response.

Honestly, relationships require attention, and they're going to get fairly little during 1L if you're serious about school.  Mine's been a great source of comfort, but it's definitely suffered in some aspects.

If your girl is a drama queen, a source of bother when times are tough, and you don't have significant time/money/energy invested in this relationship already, get out now.  That's my unsolicited advice. 
J, if you didn't bring enough penis for everyone, you shouldn't have brought any penis at all. 

cui bono?

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Re: Having a girlfriend during 1L
« Reply #19 on: May 04, 2008, 10:57:52 AM »
Its good that your coming terms with how relationships work now i.e. the most important person in them is just you. Your right she could get in the way of exams if you keep her around, again screwing with you putting yourself fist. You need to nip this in the bud. However, you need to do it diplomatically, you never know when she might pop again, like married to a partner at your firm, so you need to do things right - blame her for the fail relationship, make sure she understands its completely her fault or the other option -make it clear that its nothing personal she is just standing in the way of things that are important to you. I suggest a few strategies I have used in the past:

Tell she has really let herself go, the five pounds she put on make you want to hurl when she is naked. This is the its not me, its you approach. She should, being a drama queen pick up on the fact that its her fault the relations is failing, she just did not do a good job of keeping herself up, she will go into self-loathing taking all the fault away from you - thus you come out looking like the good guy.

Then there is the Iím somebody approach. Simplify explain to her that she was fine when you were just a normal undergrad guy, but now you have gotten into some prestigious law schools, you just canít be seen with her anymore. Be sure to let her know its not like option 1, she still is attractive and your sure she will find a nice plumber or something, but now your just really out of her league. At your law school there will be lots of prestigious chicks to bang, and those types of girls are really better for your career.  Having to explain to lawyers at your firm that you really love the current girl just is not going to work. Firms expect you to date a certain class of girl, a townine from your UG days just wonít impress anyone, and again could stifle your career, after all thatís what is most important to you right? Just tell your current girl she is just not up to snuff. If she really loves you she will appreciate the realties and comes to terms that she is just holding you back, and that the best thing to do is let you go. Again taking any blame off yourself.

Besides this is a good practice for dealing with your future exwives when you start banging the hot paralegal at the firm. Breaking up is hard to do, but the key is to convincing them its totally their fault so they carry around the guilt and you can move on.
Good luck


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