Munkey, You could not have returned at a better time. Thank you.I just don't know why it hurts so much.It hurt so much when we were fighting. But at least we were together. Nothing hurts like this. I feel so empty.We have emailed all day. Been very friendly. Friendlier than when we were together. That was his problem -- he was always a better friend to his exes than he was to me. He's made me all these promises today about how he will be a good friend to me and I believe them. I never believed the promises he made while he was my boyfriend.And of course, there's the maintenance sex. I won't see him until after he takes the bar. I need a break and he needs to study. But neither of us can imagine giving up the friendship or the sex. (The sex) At least while we're both single.I guess this sounds stupid, but I have not NOT had a boyfriend in 6 years. I'm no good at being on my own. Actually, I wouldn't know, I have never done it. But I don't feel like I would be good at it.Man oh man oh man. I had no idea it would hurt like this.
It's not a good idea. Not right now. He has to study for the bar and we are too far apart on what we want from a relationship and what each of us needs.Realistically, he can't give me what I want. If I look at the cold hard facts, that's probably just the way it is. Maybe in time, he could grow to be the person I need him to be and I could grow to be the person I need to be.We both need time and space and to think about things. We shall see. It may not be the end of the road for us romantically, but it is certainly for the time being.
Hey I'm free this weekend -- let's go out. Seriously. Cause you chumped me on food that one day.