Those black women that stick with their men through thick and thin, are the most honorable of human beings, but the sad reality is, that that's the generation of years passed. Of course there are many such today, but it was more of a cultural mind set of the women a generation ago. Today the cultural mindset is much different. Very individualistic, "I got to get mines". Back then it was, "We have to get ours."
But that's besides the point. I believe that a person's circle has more to do with it. I mean chances are, you are going to fall in love with someone that is in your neighborhood, job industry, church, etc. So it follows that if these things change, then the person you are likely to fall for change.
This is what I think happened to my cousin. While he was intellectualising in graduate school, it was with a different circle. When he graduated, he was automatically in a different circle, when he got his job, it was in a different circle. Presently he is doing some summer research at a big time university. Once again, a different circle. Now for all purposes, he is a success by our standard measurement of success, and it will seem that he is an uncle tom. But it doesn't seem necessarily so.