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Author Topic: Blackman's success increasing the likelyhood of him dating outside his race?  (Read 11611 times)

faith2005

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goodness. this is not a personal attack on your cousin. this is just a response to the general situation you described. the problem is one of puttin in work. yes, there are pressures in every relationship right? but, was it really necessary that the relationship deteriorate b/c he was in grad school? or was he just not committed to puttin in the work? now, here dude is and he has b/come somewhat successful, so he's living with a white woman. what about the black woman who was with him and supported him when he was broke? the perception is that black men when they become successful "trade-up" per se. meaning that they get into relationships with white women b/c they couldn't b/f when they were broke. that is the perception. and the black woman who was there through the hard times gets left behind. and of course the source of the general attitude relates to the issue of slavery/racism/standards of beauty etc. the same things that affect black people in all the other aspects of theiar lives.

_BP_

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I didn't grow up in America so inter-racial dating is just a part of life to me. I think everybody's mixed to be honest with you.

where did u grow up, if you don't mind
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YoungIke

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Faith, I love you for your post. I mean I don't hate if you grew up in a diverse environment and have like white woman all your life, but when you all of a sudden switch you have self worth issues. Ya’ll, can tell me that black woman are the most beautiful in the world. (I'm sorry I'm the black girl cheer leader toady  ;D )

Nemesis

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I didn't grow up in America so inter-racial dating is just a part of life to me. I think everybody's mixed to be honest with you.

where did u grow up, if you don't mind

Trinidad.
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BigMix

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Those black women that stick with their men through thick and thin, are the most honorable of human beings, but the sad reality is, that that's the generation of years passed. Of course there are many such today, but it was more of a cultural mind set of the women a generation ago. Today the cultural mindset is much different. Very individualistic, "I got to get mines". Back then it was, "We have to get ours."

But that's besides the point. I believe that a person's circle has more to do with it. I mean chances are, you are going to fall in love with someone that is in your neighborhood, job industry, church, etc. So it follows that if these things change, then the person you are likely to fall for change.

This is what I think happened to my cousin. While he was intellectualising in graduate school, it was with a different circle. When he graduated, he was automatically in a different circle, when he got his job, it was in a different circle. Presently he is doing some summer research at a big time university. Once again, a different circle. Now for all purposes, he is a success by our standard measurement of success, and it will seem that he is an uncle tom. But it doesn't seem necessarily so.

Muse

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Roxie

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I have been in the most lily white circles you could possibly imagine.  My bf has also been in the whitest of white circles.  We both choose not to date outside of our race.  I find that travelling in this or that circle as an excuse.  Even if your cousin were around a bunch of black women, he would probably still have a white one. 
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John Galt

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I didn't grow up in America so inter-racial dating is just a part of life to me. I think everybody's mixed to be honest with you.

where did u grow up, if you don't mind

Trinidad.

But you are black, we couldn't be if otherwise ;)

YoungIke

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For me, in terms of what I view as beauty, my upbringing tough me that the dominant features in black women are what constitute beauty and are attractive. Also, there are certain conversations I can have with black women that white women (or whites in general) would not understand. If your upbringing was around diversity, then you may be able to easily identify with other cultures, but I believe its all in your upbringing, not that one is right or wrong. But if you date a white woman for status or you think a black woman is not on your level than that is a problem.

I have been in the most lily white circles you could possibly imagine.  My bf has also been in the whitest of white circles.  We both choose not to date outside of our race.  I find that travelling in this or that circle as an excuse.  Even if your cousin were around a bunch of black women, he would probably still have a white one. 

_BP_

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I didn't grow up in America so inter-racial dating is just a part of life to me. I think everybody's mixed to be honest with you.

where did u grow up, if you don't mind

Trinidad.

I understand that as far as dating between blacks and indians in Trinidad (even that is frowned upon there though, you have to admit), but blacks and whites is another step in its own right.  I'm from Barbados.
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