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Author Topic: Blackman's success increasing the likelyhood of him dating outside his race?  (Read 11524 times)

BigMix

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Ok, you are a black man, for some strange reason you got smacked with serious talent, and serious support from your family. You hit 170 on your LSAT, and off you go to Univ of Chicago, Yale or Stanford.

Your circle of friends increases, you graduate, and job offers come pouring in amounting to $125k. You accept a job at a Big Law firm, and your circle changes even more (your coworkers, bosses, clients), gradually your tastes changes. You eat pasta instead of soul food, and you start wearing metrosexual clothing instead of urban clothing. You are by no means a sell out, your politics remain strong as ever. Now since most of your colleagues are white, you end up falling for a white woman, you get married, then you are labeled an uncle tom.

And the tip of the iceberg is, you are not living anymore in the neighborhood you grow up. Of course, you are making money to afford something better.

Now why is it that blackmen get a lot of flack from people as being sellouts, when all that happened was that they simply coalesced in their new environment. Its not like if they intentionally planned such, it just came with the new territory.

Nemesis

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Love is blind.
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THE BLUE SWEATER

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I'm not sure how to go about responding to this. Do I think there isn't anything wrong with marrying a whit woman, I guess not. Would I do it probobly not. To me it just seem like a unfair reward for the people who are dragging are race along to be abondoned by the ones they are dragging. As far as moving into other neighborhoods you have no reason to feel bad. If I was a father I would want to raise my family in the best enviroment possible. Now in regards to your values. You can have any values you want what matters is wether or not you act on them. Only you can honestly answer your question. Honestly your situation is somthing you should be proud of not ashamed of. If you don't feel guilty about marrying a white woman thats your progative. I won't judge you for it and neither should anybody else. I just want to explain why so many women are disturbed by it. Good luck in your pursuits and do what pleases you
UVA Class of 2009

Find out just what people will submit to, and you have found out the exact amount of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them..  The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress.

-Fredrick Douglass

_BP_

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I'm not sure how to go about responding to this. Do I think there isn't anything wrong with marrying a whit woman, I guess not. Would I do it probobly not. To me it just seem like a unfair reward for the people who are dragging are race along to be abondoned by the ones they are dragging. As far as moving into other neighborhoods you have no reason to feel bad. If I was a father I would want to raise my family in the best enviroment possible. Now in regards to your values. You can have any values you want what matters is wether or not you act on them. Only you can honestly answer your question. Honestly your situation is somthing you should be proud of not ashamed of. If you don't feel guilty about marrying a white woman thats your progative. I won't judge you for it and neither should anybody else. I just want to explain why so many women are disturbed by it. Good luck in your pursuits and do what pleases you

Exactly Super, good post.
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faith2005

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I will judge you for it. You and all black men like you are Uncle toms. :D
(j/k can anyone tell i'm bored at work today? lol.)

Nemesis

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From my perspective:

It is hard enough to find someone that's going to be committed enough to build a relationship with. When you go ahead and add other (sometimes superficial) requirements like race, you're making that search all the more difficult. You can sit and dream all day about what the perfect man/woman for you is going to look like and how it's going to be. Truth is, when you fall in love, those things don't really matter anymore. And even though it's not your daydream, it's still perfect.

Oh and yes, I am aware that I am a hopeless romantic  ;D
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YoungIke

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OK, I will say it like this. Their is something about a black woman that is like none other. The shape, the attitude, and the way she stands by you and curses you out hen you act a fool. A black woman is a gem that should be cherished and I don't see why any man would not do everything possible to honor black women and make them their wives. As for living in the same neighborhood, I don't want my children ducking gun shots like I did, but the saying is true and should remain to an extent. "You can take the man out the hood, but you can't take the hood out the man." The so called hood that you carry with you in your heart should be carried with you to humble them and remind them of the struggle as did the civil rights era reminds us. Thank you and I LOVE BLACK WOMEN

One Step Ahead

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nice trolling for Chicago. ::)

sister girls have no room to complain.  Someone should have trapped him when he was in law school :D

BigMix

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One of my cousins is a Professor of math. The dude had a black woman. Of course going to graduate school, having a limited income, and a child to take care of, brings some serious pressure on a relationship.

So of course, the relationship deteriorated. Well graduate school had to come to an end, and he was offered a full time professorship. His circle of friends increased, he purchased a home etc, and start dating a white woman. She's now living with him.

Now one saturday I was hanging out with the Dude, and it so happened that their dog ran away. He and his woman went down to the dog pound, and they were greeted by a black woman at the desk. The woman asked, "Whose dog is it?", my cousin responded, "Her dog", the tone from the black woman started to get antagonistic. She responded, "Then why are you answering for her." Of course, my cousin not to be outdone responded in classic gentle cynicism, "Because we're together".

What is the reason for the tension between the black man, and the black woman, especially if the black man is successful and dating a non black woman. I mean everyone has a politically correct acceptance phrase that they churn out, like fortune cookies, but below the surface experience tells me different.

Nemesis

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I didn't grow up in America so inter-racial dating is just a part of life to me. I think everybody's mixed to be honest with you.
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