Critique My Writing Sample

[MindTheGap76]

I have been virtually ignoring the LSAT writing sample sections when doing my PrepTests, but I figured I ought to attempt at least one prior to taking the real deal tommorrow.  So I did the one from PrepTest 39 under realistic testing conditions (timed, hadn't seen the problem before, etc.).  I think it's pretty good, but I wanted to get some feedback from anyone else willing to provide it.  If you don't have the prompt, let me know and I can type it out, but for now I'll just put my essay.  I am copying this letter for letter out of my book, so any mispellings, etc. were present in the real test (though unfortunately I can't simulate my chicken-scratch handwriting).  Note, if anyone wants me to critique theirs, I would be happy to.

Here it is:

   While Susan's desire for autonomoy in her work might lead her to choose the second excavation site, it is important for her to remember that a short- term scarifice of autonomy may provide greater opportunities to gain prominence.  Further, prominence itself often leads to other autonomous projects that would not be available to lesser-known archaeologists.  Finally, it is crucial to note that the reverse is not necessarily true - autonomous work, absent major discoveries, does not lead to prominence.  Thus, Susan's goal should be a short-term increase in prominence resulting in a long-term increase in both prominence and autonomy; this would lead to maximal satisfaction of both her career goals.
   Following this criteria, it is clear that Susan should participate in the first excavation opportunity.  If she is fortunate enough to make a major find, her reputation - and thus prominence - in the archaeological community would increase.  If she was not able to make an important discovery, she could still benefit from associations with the other prominent archaeologists at the site.  By visibly collaborating with the leaders in her field, Susan's archaeological peers will hold her in higher esteem.  Finally, by participating in the first excavation, Susan will not be completely forfeiting the autonomy she desires; she will still have exclusive control over an excavation.
  Choosing the first excavation guarantees Susan a gain in prominence, while still permitting some degree of autonomy.  Further, her gain in prominence will lead to more autonomy and greater prominence in the future.  In contrast, the second site maximizes her short-term autonomy, but at the risk of neither autonomy nor prominence in the future.  Susan should choose the first site.

[QS]

You are using the words prominence, finally, and autonomy too much...kind of a pita to read.

[Findedeux]

They really don't care about your writing sample unless it is horrible beyond belief.

[M2]

make sure its legible...and your fine

[jgruber]

It looks good to me.  They just want to make sure you can put together a sentence and a paragraph and something resembling an argument.

You'll be fine.

[MindTheGap76]

You are using the words prominence, finally, and autonomy too much...kind of a pita to read.

I only used finally twice, but I agree about prominence and autonomy.  I couldn't really think of any synonyms as I was writing, so I just kind of stuck with what they said in the quesiton.  When I do the real thing, I'll try to mix it up more.

"They really don't care about your writing sample unless it is horrible beyond belief."

Yeah, I was told point-blank by a Georgetown admissions officer that they really don't pay attention to a writing sample.  However, I have also been told that as an engineer, law schools are particularly interested to see if I have the ability to communicate clearly, as that is often a short-coming of us nerds.  Therefore, I don't want to completely dismiss it on the off chance that they will read it with a critical eye.

On the flip side of things, law schools may not care much if the writing isn't good because they understand test-taking conditions; but if my writing IS really good, perhaps they will be impressed.

[Edmond]

I wouldn't make a blanketed statement like "schools don't care about the writing section."  Each school chooses whether to use it or not. 

That said, format your answer like this:

1) State which option is better.
2&3) How does this option meet her goals (there are usually 2).
4) Why the other option does NOT meet her goals.