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Author Topic: women in law  (Read 4366 times)

schoomp

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Re: women in law
« Reply #50 on: June 09, 2004, 03:12:12 PM »
This being my person opinion and that only - if you can financially afford to raise a child on your own, go for it.  However, I'm sorta agreeing with some of the other posters that during school may not be the right time for this.  Mostly because newborns take a lot of time, it is hard to find child care places that will accept really young babies and being up all night with a crying child might hurt the performance in law school.

That being said, I don't think you need a SO to raise a child (whether male, female, lesbian life time partner etc).  However, you do need a good support group - be it friends, family, etc.  It sounds like Lavia has all this.  Being raised in a two person household is not always good - especially when a parent is abusive in any way.


Lavia

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Re: women in law
« Reply #51 on: June 09, 2004, 03:17:01 PM »
so she should just wait around till she finds some man - talk about stupid.

Single parents happen, people die, people leave, people choose to do it on their own. not ideal for me, but it happens and it works.

In my case my father died and it caught my mom so off guard and she had to struggle to make it happen - at least Lavia is planning for being a single mother - not holding out for this ideal that can easily be taken away or just disappear....


No... I'm just saying she should try to find a guy first.  If come her 38th birthday there's no guy, then she should start thinking about having a baby by herself. But to give on the ideal this early in life is just stupid.  I'm sorry, but it is.

And I when I said she should have it with some other person, I meant some other loving person.  Sometimes people get pregnant and they're just friends... that's still a loving relationship, even if it's not romantic. 

Statistically, 38 is too late. I did look for a guy, and I did this for about 4 years. I was all set to go when I was 27. But 38 is a joke. Most women aren't going to get pregnant at 38 even if they have a partner and have intercourse at the right time every month like clockwork. 35 is pushing it. 31 or 32, when I'm talking about starting, is a little easier, but it may already be too late. Our fertility drops drastically in our late 20's. If I have a living breathing human male to purposely try to impregnate me now, I could probably, statistically, get pregnant in the next 6 months or more. By 35 it'll be very difficult. 38 and I can forget it.

Or it'll be MAD expensive (fertility drugs, frozen sperm costs month after month).

Did you do any research before calling it "stupid?" 38??? I have to laugh out loud if you think you can wait that long (are you female)? There are many women who had to cry their hearts out because they thought they stilll had a chance in hell at 38.

Guffaw!! I'll get you the specific stats.

Lavia

Skittles

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Re: women in law
« Reply #52 on: June 09, 2004, 03:21:17 PM »
See above.  I do know that 38 can be too late... I didn't mean that specific age.  I just meant that a woman should try for a loving relationship up until it looks like she's running out of time. 

Skittles

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Re: women in law
« Reply #53 on: June 09, 2004, 03:22:34 PM »

I think I misunderstood your attitude.  I thought you were saying that you were going to have a baby by yourself no matter what (i.e. you didn't even want to find a guy).  Believe it or not, I have met women who want to have kids by themselves because they hate men and don't ever want a relationship with one.  (and yet they're not lesbians either)  So I guess I unfairly assumed you were like one of those women.


So I apologize.   I was thinking you were closer to my age (23).  I tend to forget that not everyone here is under 25.  If you're planning on doing this in a few years because you're older now and you just don't think you can find anyone, then that's understandable. It certainly looks like you've planned all this out really well so I'm sure you'll be a great mother. 

^
|
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See... I already apologized.  You're right.  You win.  Again, I didn't realize that this was a "last resort" kinda thing.  I thought you were just wanting to be a single mom.

guyutegirl (Jew-Lo)

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Re: women in law
« Reply #54 on: June 09, 2004, 04:17:03 PM »
I think all women belong in the kitchen with an apron on. Unless they're in the hospital poppin one outta the oven.
Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow.

Lavia

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Re: women in law
« Reply #55 on: June 09, 2004, 04:20:26 PM »
Skittles,

Thanks for letting me know you misunderstood where I was coming from. I was typing while that post got posted.

Sorry I didn't see the apology until after I'd posted what I did. I wish this were a little more real time.

I'm not trying to "win," though. I just didn't want you to think it was stupid, and then wind up childless later in life because you didn't know the more likely reality of the fertility thing. (or any other woman, for that matter). I just wanted to educate, not win. Sorry again I didn't see your post before I posted.

(Handshake)

I'll get those stats, though.

But here's a story or two or five. I asked a good friend to help me. He said yes. We started dating. He disappeared whenever I was fertile. Then he finally told me he changed his mind. I wasted about 6 months.

Another friend said he'd help. We planned it all out. He knew my fertility schedule. We were attracted to each other. No problem. Then he backed out, saying he didn't realize how serious I was, and that he really wanted to just have sex with me. I wasted about 5 months with him.

Then I had the guy who said he wanted to marry me. I dated him for a few months. It ended when he told too many lies and I realized he would lie to our child too.

And finally,  the guy who told me no, he wouldn't make a baby with me, but he was the love of my life, and didn't use protection, so I figured it was only a matter of time. That ended after a year, when he decided to control me with physical abuse (hence, why I'm going to law school). I found out that the mother of his actual child was still in the picture, and that his child knew all about his philandering and abuse (of his mother). Now i'm glad that I didn't have his child. But that was another year or two wasted.

I sure WISH I didn't want a man!  :D  But I think, at my age, it's wiser to wait getting on a partner, and start with the child. And if a good man comes along, great. If not, "And Baby Makes Two."

I figure in law school I'll have more time...no 9-5, time at home, daycare because I'm in a college environment, support network of fellow students, etc.

Okay. I can't find the articles I was looking for. I'll post them later. There's one about a 3rd year law student who decided to have a baby alone.

Lavia

jgruber

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Re: women in law
« Reply #56 on: June 09, 2004, 04:22:43 PM »
Damn, I'm glad all this stuff is behind me now. 

nola8688

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Re: women in law
« Reply #57 on: June 09, 2004, 04:23:21 PM »
I think all women belong in the kitchen with an apron on. Unless they're in the hospital poppin one outta the oven.

 :D :D :D

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Rise and shine and give off your glory glory!!!

Ladyday

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Re: women in law
« Reply #58 on: June 09, 2004, 04:26:56 PM »
Lavia,
Please tell me the names and addresses of all of the above, I am going to castrate them. 

sodashi

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Re: women in law
« Reply #59 on: June 09, 2004, 04:33:12 PM »
Lavia,
Please tell me the names and addresses of all of the above, I am going to castrate them. 

HA HA HA HA HA