Law School Discussion

Have you ever noticed?

Have you ever noticed?
« on: May 30, 2005, 10:38:39 PM »
I had this one white female friend who, if you read about her on paper would seem to be the epitome of what people think most men want. She was 5'8", 110lbs, a size 2, 34DD, longish blonde hair, green eyes, from a good family, quiet, educated. The funny thing is, whenever we went out NO ONE approached her. I was always the girl getting approached. Eventually, she seemed to develop an attitude towards me, like "I'm dream Barbie, I deserve more than you, why are you getting everything?" The "friendship" started to crumble as I attained more in life: good job, higher pay, acceptance to law school, etc. Finally, she seemed to snap when I got engaged. As if she should have beat me to it because she was so much better and so much more deserving. (And no, I was not snotty about it, I was very supportive of her.)

So my question is, what's with this sense of entitlement and thinking you should be better or have more than everyone else? Can't you just be happy for your friends? I hate this constant one-up-manship. I see it all the time. What's up with that? Am I the only one who's noticed this?

Made4law

  • ****
  • 486
  • "to boldly go, where no man has gone before"
    • View Profile
Re: Have you ever noticed?
« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2005, 12:32:29 PM »
Wow 5'8" 110 w/DD's, were the DD's real? Just curious  :-X

Anywhoo, people are some jealous a$$es sometimes. They develop a sense of entitlement and believe that anyone who reaches where they want to be before them is the enemy.  You just have to shake those people as they show their true colors...

cali444

  • ****
  • 334
  • I, sir, am a lady
    • View Profile
Re: Have you ever noticed?
« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2005, 12:41:56 PM »
I had this one white female friend who, if you read about her on paper would seem to be the epitome of what people think most men want. She was 5'8", 110lbs, a size 2, 34DD, longish blonde hair, green eyes, from a good family, quiet, educated. The funny thing is, whenever we went out NO ONE approached her. I was always the girl getting approached. Eventually, she seemed to develop an attitude towards me, like "I'm dream Barbie, I deserve more than you, why are you getting everything?" The "friendship" started to crumble as I attained more in life: good job, higher pay, acceptance to law school, etc. Finally, she seemed to snap when I got engaged. As if she should have beat me to it because she was so much better and so much more deserving. (And no, I was not snotty about it, I was very supportive of her.)

So my question is, what's with this sense of entitlement and thinking you should be better or have more than everyone else? Can't you just be happy for your friends? I hate this constant one-up-manship. I see it all the time. What's up with that? Am I the only one who's noticed this?


This is so funny, Scurvy, because I used to have a "friend" like this.  She was black, but she was very light-skinned with hazel eyes, straight hair, etc.  I seriously think she didn't like being black and had some identity issues, but anyway...  So I'm brown skinned with kinky hair, but I was *always* the one who got approached when we went out.  I could always see the confusion and disbelief on her face.  I think she thought the one thing she had on me was that she looked almost white.  It killed her that I got the attention and she didn't, and I think that's part of the reason we stopped talking.

I just think it's incredibly pathetic when certain people think they're better than others because of their appearance or race.  Maybe people can pick up on their negativity and it makes them unattractive.  Just a thought!

Re: Have you ever noticed?
« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2005, 12:58:36 PM »
sage words.. .check out my 'what is beauty thread'  ;)




I just think it's incredibly pathetic when certain people think they're better than others because of their appearance or race.  Maybe people can pick up on their negativity and it makes them unattractive.  Just a thought!



LittleRussianPrincess, Esq.

  • ****
  • 1986
  • Hopelessly devoted...to the Tennessee Vols!
    • View Profile
Re: Have you ever noticed?
« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2005, 02:38:16 PM »
The lesson we as women need to take from this is the moment a friendship becomes tainted with any element of competition is the moment it officially ends.  Competition has no place in a friendship, period.  Don't compare yourself to your girlfriends and hope to God they don't compare themselves to you.  You can recognize that your girlfriend is beautiful, funny, and intelligent, but the moment you begin to compare those qualities to your own, you have planted the seed of demise in your friendship, because it can start out as an internal struggle, but with time will always manifest itself in the physical realm.  One day you're thinking you wish you had her hair and the next you are wishing you had her man.  Don't start down the slippery slope.

Lawprofessor

  • ****
  • 3276
  • Pony Up!
    • View Profile
Re: Have you ever noticed?
« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2005, 03:03:22 PM »
The lesson we as women need to take from this is the moment a friendship becomes tainted with any element of competition is the moment it officially ends.  Competition has no place in a friendship, period.  Don't compare yourself to your girlfriends and hope to God they don't compare themselves to you.  You can recognize that your girlfriend is beautiful, funny, and intelligent, but the moment you begin to compare those qualities to your own, you have planted the seed of demise in your friendship, because it can start out as an internal struggle, but with time will always manifest itself in the physical realm.  One day you're thinking you wish you had her hair and the next you are wishing you had her man.  Don't start down the slippery slope.

Deep, and I agree.  Except I would term the phrases as envy and jealous.  Not competition.  I think friends can have friendly competition, which I have done with my friends and there was no harm because clearly I wanted to win, but if I couldnt, I wanted my friend to win.  The only problem I see with competition is when it becomes one sided.  If one person ALWAYS wins, then the competition turns to envy which turns to jealousy.  Which takes me back to my point of it being jealousy that is the downfall of a relationship. ;D

Fabyahluss

Re: Have you ever noticed?
« Reply #6 on: May 31, 2005, 03:58:51 PM »
I had this one white female friend who, if you read about her on paper would seem to be the epitome of what people think most men want. She was 5'8", 110lbs, a size 2, 34DD, longish blonde hair, green eyes, from a good family, quiet, educated.

LOL. Yeah, white men maybe!

But as others have said, shake the haters off. They come in many forms. They could be your best friend, but the truth always comes out.

Lgirl

  • ****
  • 241
    • View Profile
Re: Have you ever noticed?
« Reply #7 on: May 31, 2005, 04:02:22 PM »
It's awful to compare - I agree.
I'm fortunate in that my friends are all rather different from me. We seem to want very different things in life, have different looks, go for different men. But Scurvy, you've worked so hard to get where you are in life - you don't need to apologise to anyone else. No-one in life is 'entitled'. We all have to work at things - relationships, jobs, study, whatever it is. Looks are an asset, but they can only get you so far... they disappear, after all, and we just can't be complacent.

Disgression: Illegally blonde - that is the most gorgeous dog _ever_. Is it a Japanese breed? Do tell....

LittleRussianPrincess, Esq.

  • ****
  • 1986
  • Hopelessly devoted...to the Tennessee Vols!
    • View Profile
Re: Have you ever noticed?
« Reply #8 on: May 31, 2005, 04:03:32 PM »
It's awful to compare - I agree.
I'm fortunate in that my friends are all rather different from me. We seem to want very different things in life, have different looks, go for different men. But Scurvy, you've worked so hard to get where you are in life - you don't need to apologise to anyone else. No-one in life is 'entitled'. We all have to work at things - relationships, jobs, study, whatever it is. Looks are an asset, but they can only get you so far... they disappear, after all, and we just can't be complacent.

Disgression: Illegally blonde - that is the most gorgeous dog _ever_. Is it a Japanese breed? Do tell....

Lgirl, it's me ruskie.  New name.  That's my Pom.  She's got a hair cut in that pic, though.

Lgirl

  • ****
  • 241
    • View Profile
Re: Have you ever noticed?
« Reply #9 on: May 31, 2005, 04:07:16 PM »
Hi ruskie! Well done for getting through finals - you're a star!
I've got two left, one tomorrow and one on Saturday morning. Hope you're having fun now!
What's a Pom? Is that the full name?