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Author Topic: Anyone's Spouse & Kids Not Joining Them in LS Away?  (Read 1611 times)

thebengalgent

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Anyone's Spouse & Kids Not Joining Them in LS Away?
« on: May 10, 2005, 09:49:22 PM »
My wife is likely not to join me for the at least the first year if I go away to LS.  My preference, of course, is to go to a school in NYC (where I live), but if I get into a great away school, my wife will stay behing with the 2 kids.  She has a a supportive family with lots of space, and will likely live with them while I'm away at LS.

My kids are young (will be 8 & 2 next year). I'm going to LS at my age (38) with an eye to the future, and am willing to sacrifice a large portion of these early years with them (which I know I will regret to some degree later) to succeed in LS.

Is anyone else in the same predicament, or about to be?

sacdubbya

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Re: Anyone's Spouse & Kids Not Joining Them in LS Away?
« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2005, 01:11:54 PM »
I am recently married and was considering going off to law school while my wife is in grad school.  However, I dont think that the strain of being away for at least one year is worth it. 

You will never be able to reclaim that time not spent with your children and your wife.  There are a lot of great schools in NYC or near there so in that regard you are pretty fortunate

rocklaw

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Re: Anyone's Spouse & Kids Not Joining Them in LS Away?
« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2005, 03:41:36 PM »
Why not take your wife and kids with you if you get into a great law school? Tons of people move their whole family and your kids are not even in school yet so it won't disrupt them too much. Even if she has great support back at home, 3 years away from your young family is a long time.
If you are going to law school for the betterment of your family, don't you want to make sure there's a family to go back to?

Presumptive Decline

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Re: Anyone's Spouse & Kids Not Joining Them in LS Away?
« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2005, 03:43:11 PM »
I'm moving my whole family, I don't think I could handle being away from them for that long.

mcleod13

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Re: Anyone's Spouse & Kids Not Joining Them in LS Away?
« Reply #4 on: May 20, 2005, 11:53:59 AM »
I was considering letting my wife stay in IL while I went to FL for law school. Let's be honest, what is the most you can do with your family the first year. I figure most of our time will be spent in the library, at school, or in a secluded area studying.(of course the idea of a few drinks looks good too.) Anyway, I have experience with this issue as I spent 8 years in the military and four of those were married. You might miss out on a few things, that is a given, but you will also be making a better future for you and your family and I think all the things that you will experience with them after will keep your heart and mind full of precious memories.

dcdjr23

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Re: Anyone's Spouse & Kids Not Joining Them in LS Away?
« Reply #5 on: May 20, 2005, 12:57:56 PM »
My wife and I considered this for a few months, but then she warmed up to the idea of moving.  I also would have a hard time not seeing my kids for a long period of time, even if I'm only going to see them on a limited basis while I'm in school.

Because your wife has a supportive family, I'm sure it could work.  I have enough family in the military that go through similar situations to know that people make it work all of the time.  It may not be optimal, but if you both stay focused on the end goal, you can get through it.

Good luck with whatever you decide.
Attending: SMU  :=)

LaneSwerver

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Re: Anyone's Spouse & Kids Not Joining Them in LS Away?
« Reply #6 on: May 20, 2005, 01:23:37 PM »
Right there with you. My wife has an awesome job in Houston, and I've decided to attend LS in Ann Arbor. She's also finishing her undergrad, which will happen next May. So, for at least a year, we'll be keeping separate addresses. It really sucks, but I'm thinking we'll get a lot of frequent flier miles.

Bhoutros

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Re: Anyone's Spouse & Kids Not Joining Them in LS Away?
« Reply #7 on: June 12, 2005, 02:16:27 PM »
I've been doing the long-distance thing for 2 years already and it is fine.  We don't have any kids, so I think it is much easier for us.  With kids I don't think our arrangement could ever work.  I love in Seattle and he lives in Minnesota.  He's been looking for jobs here - but got promoted (dream job, big raise etc...), so he stayed in MN.  I'll be in law school in MT, OR, or WA.  He's still in MN.  The current goal is that by 5/2008 when I am done with school, he'll have a job in Seattle.


letmeindamnit2006

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Re: Anyone's Spouse & Kids Not Joining Them in LS Away?
« Reply #8 on: June 14, 2005, 04:21:03 PM »
Actually that is the situation that my husband and I are facing.  He is finishing up his Masters at Johns Hopkins which his company is paying for.  I really love the idea of going to University of Pittsburgh or Michigan State.  Can you tell we are really looking for a cheaper area to move to?  Anyhow, so we are figuring that we will be apart for at least the first year and probably the first two years.  Which I am okay with because I know that my first year of law school, it will be nothing but studying anyhow.  Additionally, we have no children to speak of (besides the dogs).  My parents actually did this when I was a kid too.  We lived in Ohio and my dad got a job here in Maryland.  So my dad moved here and we joined him a year later.  Believe me, it was the best year of my life.  Got away with soooo much crap while my mom finished up her undergrad. 

SleepyGuyYawn

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Re: Anyone's Spouse & Kids Not Joining Them in LS Away?
« Reply #9 on: June 14, 2005, 06:32:29 PM »
You sure you would want to live in Lansing, Michigan?  I've lived in Michigan for my whole life and I can easily say that Lansing is not worth the relatively low cost of living (and the Detroit area is more expensive, plus not a very good place to live in my opinion).

Pittsburgh is great though (and even cheaper than Lansing).