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Author Topic: Having a baby  (Read 4500 times)

Name Changing Queen

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Re: Having a baby
« Reply #20 on: May 06, 2005, 10:28:17 PM »
Yes, that's where I read about it.  And once they've made a big point about it and put it on their website, it seems like they'd have to do it for other parents too.  (Although how many parents out there want to take their baby to law school lectures and try to write notes while entertaining an infant remains to be seen).
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katesq

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Re: Having a baby
« Reply #21 on: May 09, 2005, 06:41:16 PM »
thanks for the perspective and humor. i guess i will wait until after 1L, but probably before I graduate. my partner is really excited about being the primary caregiver, so i'm not worried about my time being taxed. i'm not really into the idea of being a ft mom. i have a feeling once the baby's here i'll want to spend more time with him/her, but this is life i suppose...
thanks

Tymeless

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Re: Having a baby
« Reply #22 on: May 09, 2005, 06:48:27 PM »
thanks for the perspective and humor. i guess i will wait until after 1L, but probably before I graduate. my partner is really excited about being the primary caregiver, so i'm not worried about my time being taxed. i'm not really into the idea of being a ft mom. i have a feeling once the baby's here i'll want to spend more time with him/her, but this is life i suppose...
thanks

I guess this is what I am really trying to impart on you.  The emotional attachment one grows once that child is conceived is something i cant explain.  It is hard and you are right you will want to spend not only time but every minute with him/her.  Something that life will not wait for, but as long as you have support you will do fine.  I guess for my own personal reason I would suggest a person waiting until after school, but you have your own reasons. 
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Mrs Malaprop

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Re: Having a baby
« Reply #23 on: May 18, 2005, 10:18:45 AM »
Funny, I'm not having a baby, but my wife and I want another.  I have major concerns with an infant while attending law school.  However, my wife is 36, so we really do not have much more time.  By the way, it will be our fourth.  Still trying for the boy!

I'm the fourth daughter.  My parents were hoping for a boy, too.  For them, the fifth time was the charm.  Good luck (and if it's a girl, name her Tracy).

Heh. My grandparents probably win the "trying for a boy" trophy. They finally did have a son - but he was child #14! (I'm sort of glad they kept going, since my mom was girl #12.) There was SORT OF a reason to do this, since my grandfather was decended from minor nobility (no money any more, but some lands left in the old country) and the family name had nearly died out altogether. My uncle subsequently had 3 sons (who among them have had 2 sons so far), so at least it wasn't all for naught. (I hope grandma thought it was worth it!)

As for me, I'm still dithering over whether to have child #1 or not. Since I'll be 33 next month, I'd probably better figure that out soon - although I'm not sure if it'd be a good idea to do it while in law school. My husband will also be starting law school (in 2006), just to make things that much more complicated. (And expensive!) On the other hand, while it might not be an ideal time, it might be the best chance we get for a long time.

voce

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Re: Having a baby
« Reply #24 on: May 18, 2005, 02:34:28 PM »
I know someone who had not one, but TWO, kids during law school. She figured that her schedule would be much more flexible in law school and knew that she didn't want to have difficulties with her first job after law school by taking maternity leave. [Personally, I think this is a sad state of affairs, but it is sort of the way it is...] So--it can be done! I think one of the above posters is absolutely right about the law school experience being different for everyone. Some people get really involved in extracurriculars and live at the law school; others go to class and go home. In addition to the level of attention needed for classes, this element can make a big difference, too.

Good luck!
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RockyMtnHighMama

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Re: Having a baby
« Reply #25 on: May 21, 2005, 04:57:27 PM »
We had child #4 while my husband was half-way through his MBA. We were just reminiscing about it last night... he was working full-time, was a soccer coach to three teams, and a Cubmaster. But he had the advantage of a stay-at-home-wife - though I also was a Cub Scout Leader at the time (only missed one den meeting... once the baby came, she went everywhere I went, in one of those sling things, even helping child #1 with early-morning paper route - freaked one subscriber out one frosty morning, had baby in sling, coat over the top of both of us, and the carrier sack over all... all you could see were her little eyes peeking out, and the lady we surprised coming around the corner at that unearthly hour said "There's a baby in there!" duh.). What were we thinking??!!

Most people manage to do what they make up their minds to do, and what they dedicate their hearts to do. It is that simple. The deal is, once you have kids, you do have to make up your mind that their well-being comes first (including instilling discipline and self-control), and that everything else has to fit in around them. If you've got your stuff in the proper order, you'll find time to make it all happen. Good luck.

koggy

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Re: Having a baby
« Reply #26 on: May 21, 2005, 07:09:20 PM »
I just wanted to assure Jacy that there are a lot of kids who are respectful and responsible, and don't behave like they are in a day care.  It is all about how they are parented.  Not to appear snobbish, but I imagine that the type of students who attend law school generally are the relativly responsible type, who would in turn strive to raise responsible offspring who would know how to properly conduct themselves in a classroom setting.  After all, these kids have to do so when their school is in session.  I believe that a law school that allows parents to bring their kids to class on a rare snow day shows respect to their law students who are also parents, and it speaks volumes to the nature of the school's flexibility.  My 2 cents worth.   

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Re: Having a baby
« Reply #27 on: May 21, 2005, 07:47:27 PM »
Matthies, thanks for putting jacy in her place.  I know if there were an emergency I would have to bring my child to class -vs- miss the lecture.  My children could handle it.  They entertain themselves quietly when they need to and they know when Mommy is serious. 

Jacy, I hope you are one of the polite, respectful adult class members that Matthies says are so rare.  Otherwise, you  need to examine and adjust your attitude about parents trying their best to reach their goals and do the right thing for themselves and their children.


Mrs Malaprop

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Re: Having a baby
« Reply #28 on: May 21, 2005, 11:54:58 PM »
Matthies, thanks for putting jacy in her place.  I know if there were an emergency I would have to bring my child to class -vs- miss the lecture.  My children could handle it.  They entertain themselves quietly when they need to and they know when Mommy is serious. 

Jacy, I hope you are one of the polite, respectful adult class members that Matthies says are so rare.  Otherwise, you  need to examine and adjust your attitude about parents trying their best to reach their goals and do the right thing for themselves and their children.

Ah - don't be too hard on Jacy. You know as well as I do that there are plenty of ill-behaved children out there, and plenty of parents who let them behave that way. (And if the Yuppie Spawning Grounds I live in are any indication, excessive education and professional careers don't necessarily mean excellent parents!) The troublemakers are the minority, but unfortunately, they're the ones everyone remembers - the well-behaved kids (and the parents who work hard to keep them that way) go unnoticed, exactly because they don't draw attention to themselves. The bad apples give all kids a bad rep, especially among the childless - sad but true. I don't have kids, but I've softened over the years as I've gotten to know my nieces and nephews, and my friends' kids -  their ways are not so mysterious to me any longer. ;)

Personally, I wouldn't mind having kids in class on occasion - day care emergencies do happen, after all, and student-parents have it tough enough already. (Not all schools are kind enough to provide emergency daycare for students - bless those few that do!) Certainly, the presence of a well-behaved kid or two isn't going to disrupt the class. But not every kid is actually capable of sitting quietly through a class (or several classes), and I'd hope that a parent would be considerate enough NOT to bring a kid to class who just can't do it. Or at least be willing to remove the kid from the room promptly if he/she starts acting up (by which I mean more than the "Mom is Not Pleased" look or a quick warning or two can remedy). But that's just considerate parenting in any setting requiring quiet (church, weddings, library, class, etc.) - something I imagine any good parent would do anyway, as a matter of course.

I'd think most school-age kids would do just fine, whereas a younger child (even one who has been well-parented) might not do as well - some little ones are just at "that age", or naturally have excessive energy that they haven't learned to govern yet, or can occasionally just have a bad day. (Then again, I have one niece who has always been as good as gold, pretty much all the time, right from the start.) I think most parents can judge their kid's limits well enough, however.

jacy85

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Re: Having a baby
« Reply #29 on: May 22, 2005, 09:47:14 AM »
Matthies, thanks for putting jacy in her place.  I know if there were an emergency I would have to bring my child to class -vs- miss the lecture.  My children could handle it.  They entertain themselves quietly when they need to and they know when Mommy is serious. 

Jacy, I hope you are one of the polite, respectful adult class members that Matthies says are so rare.  Otherwise, you  need to examine and adjust your attitude about parents trying their best to reach their goals and do the right thing for themselves and their children.



Why should I re-examine my attitude towards bad parents and poorly behaved children?  Why should I desire that the money I pay for an adult legal education not be puncutated by the presense of kids?  Just because you have children doesn't mean that you should get special accomadation.  It was you and your SO's choice to have kids, not mine.  That's great that you're trying to get a legal education and achieve your and your family's goals.  But me striving to meet my goals doesn't interfere with you, and that should go both ways.

And Mrs. Malaprop makes an excellent point.  Education, income, status, etc. doesn't automatically = a good parent.  Horrible parents are found in all walks of life, just as good parents aren't determined by income bracket.  Just because you're a law student doesn't mean I'm going to assume that you have well behaved children.  Life just doesn't work that way.