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Author Topic: Having a baby  (Read 4633 times)

katesq

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Having a baby
« on: May 04, 2005, 04:45:54 PM »
I was wondering if anyone was thinking of having a child while in law school? When do you think would be the best time to do this?

Because of my age, in order to maximize the chances of having a healthy baby, I should do it in the next three years. Clearly, I would wait until after 1L, but should I do it during the summer of 2L and miss internship chances or wait until after 3L? Do you think an employer would frown upon me taking maternity leave within a few months of being hired? I actually want to work in govt so I don't think it will be seen as negative as if I worked in big law, but still...

I am lucky in that my partner is incredibly accomodating and wants to have primary responsiblity for raising our child (in fact, he wants to eventually be a stay at home dad). Plus my parents and brother are all eager to share the responsibility while I am getting through school and establishing my career. It's just a question of when...

LaneSwerver

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Re: Having a baby
« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2005, 05:13:40 PM »
I don't know anything, but I'd wait until you're out or you'll be miserable. You'll miss everything (first words, walking, etc.) you'll miss class due to baby's illness, etc. You don't need any undue stressors--you'll already have enough. Wait the three years, then go for it.

$.02

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--Rodney Dangerfield

twarga

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Re: Having a baby
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2005, 05:19:54 PM »
I missed a lot of the good stuff with my first kid because of Air Force obligations.  When I got pregnant with the 2nd one, I got off active duty and went to the reserves.  Best decision I ever made.  This is the wrong time to get pregnant.  Wait until the end of 3L and don't spring the pregnancy on your new employer until after you have an offer in hand.  This way you'll at least get maternity leave.

Makes me glad I waited til my kids were halfway grown before starting law school.  That's another option.  Be a stay at home mom for a few years and then go to law school... law schools aren't going anywhere.
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UniversityWASH

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Re: Having a baby
« Reply #3 on: May 06, 2005, 08:49:55 AM »
Funny, I'm not having a baby, but my wife and I want another.  I have major concerns with an infant while attending law school.  However, my wife is 36, so we really do not have much more time.  By the way, it will be our fourth.  Still trying for the boy!

twarga

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Re: Having a baby
« Reply #4 on: May 06, 2005, 09:00:20 AM »
Funny, I'm not having a baby, but my wife and I want another.  I have major concerns with an infant while attending law school.  However, my wife is 36, so we really do not have much more time.  By the way, it will be our fourth.  Still trying for the boy!

I'm the fourth daughter.  My parents were hoping for a boy, too.  For them, the fifth time was the charm.  Good luck (and if it's a girl, name her Tracy).
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KODIAK

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Re: Having a baby
« Reply #5 on: May 06, 2005, 09:05:16 AM »
Yeah I'm going to try to impregnate an undergrad to celebrate after finals.  That oughta be fun.

twarga

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Re: Having a baby
« Reply #6 on: May 06, 2005, 09:19:18 AM »
Yeah I'm going to try to impregnate an undergrad to celebrate after finals.  That oughta be fun.

If my memory serves me correctly, the impregnation portion of the exercise was the most fun.
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Tymeless

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Re: Having a baby
« Reply #7 on: May 06, 2005, 11:07:45 AM »
I think you should wait until after school. With the stress of school, your baby will thank you for not putting he/she through it.  I do not know how old you are but with technology today women are having babies in their 40s.  I mean it is a personal thing so you should talk to your doctor about how late is too late.

I have a daughter and it is hard.  Remember that even if you wait until your 2l you will miss alot and once you begin your career it will be even harder.  If your husband is so supportive then maybe once you have the baby he will be at home, but remember all that you will be missing. You have to be mentally prepared, because it is hard to miss certain things.  My daughter is 4 and I am going back to school now because while I understand what I will miss during 4-7.  I know that I will be able to provide a better life for her once school is over.  It is a very hard decision, but if you are mentally prepared to sacrifice certain things do it but after school.  Plan so that you get pregnant right after graduation and get your job.  Take your 6 weeks maternity and go back to your career. Just my .02. 
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HippieLawChick

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Re: Having a baby
« Reply #8 on: May 06, 2005, 11:11:24 AM »
"Do you think an employer would frown upon me taking maternity leave within a few months of being hired?"

If you now you are pregnant and take a job knowing that you will need to be off for a while within that same year, I would imagine they would not be pleased.

Also : The family leave act doesn't apply to very small companies, so make sure you are in a BIG firm if you try this.  I am sure you could get away with it at a gov't job, but your reputation could be hurt either way.  When you are in a career situation (as opposed to a job at Old Navy), you have to consider not only whether you can "get away" with something, but how you will be viewed for doing it.

twarga

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Re: Having a baby
« Reply #9 on: May 06, 2005, 11:24:11 AM »
I do not know how old you are but with technology today women are having babies in their 40s.  

Those babies are usually from donor eggs or from lots and lots of in-vitro.  Getting pregnant at 42 as opposed to 32 is very difficult.  Just ask the women lined up at fertility clinics all over the U.S. 

I don't think having a baby now would be so bad if hubby were willing to take over the primary caretaker role.  If this was about a man going to law school with a pregnant wife, we probably wouldn't be having this discussion.
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