I can't find my wallet

[ormachea]

Is three punches in the nuts enough? Should I do four?

And the problem is there's only 1 class I might fail and all I have to do is drop that minor--I can use another one in its place for graduating purposes.

Nope, not behind the fridge... I'm going to call Lost and Found tomorrow.

[PresClay_00]

they have so many of what you're looking for there, even if it's not yours, they'll give you one

[hilljack]

Check between the chair and the wall next to the bathroom, I hear you can find stuff there.

[InVinoVeritas]

especially wallets when you need to buy groceries. 

[ormachea]

I found it in the bathroom! It's a lot smaller than it used to be though, and apparently only capable of being motivated about one thing at a time... and right now it's only law school

[DodgerLaw]

A very good friend of mine used to be absolutely notorious for losing his wallet.

For a while he lived in an apartment complex with a little man-made stream running through it. His dad went to visit him one time, and saw some money floating down the stream. By the time he got to my friend's apartment he had fished out a few credit cards, a couple hundred dollars, my friend's driver's license, and the wallet itself.

Another time this guy, one other friend and I were driving to Vegas from Orange County on a very windy Friday afternoon. Traffic was almost at a dead stop, and people were hanging out their windows, yelling at one another, and generally starting a fun and rowdy Las Vegas weekend while still on the road. I wanted to join the fun. But just to make sure I wouldn't fall out of the car when I climbed onto the passenger side window, I decided to open the door and slam it shut. What I didn't know is my friend had stashed his wallet (filled with about $500) between the door and the seat. So when I opened the door, the wallet flew out and money started swirling around like on that old Don Ho gameshow. Just at that moment traffic started to move. The guy who is not an idiot and was driving started to move, and I yelled "STOP THE CAR!!" So me and my buddy jumped out and started chasing loose bills all over the freeway. We managed to recover about $200.

And I haven't even mentioned his keys.

[Merc]

"it you've lost your wallet, it's hard to dance....."

- Mitch Hedberg

[hilljack]

"If you've lost your wallet, it's hard to buy groceries"
-Hilljack

[Julie Fern]

That reminds me of the story of some really fat lady who lost her bologna sandwich in her rolls, and didn't find it until she went to the doctor after it rotted.

julie wants to hear more from you, hillbilly, about that alleged southern class and charm.

[PresClay_00]

i "hear" about stuff from up North all the time.  and most Southerners would never say that all people down here are full of class and charm