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Author Topic: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)???  (Read 9291 times)

TheNewGuy

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Ok, so I am 21 years old...NEVER had a girlfriend before, never dated or anything. I come to find out that the girl down the hall likes me. We start talking, hitting it off, things are going good so far. About two days ago, we were talking and she asked about my previous relationships. I told her that I had 2 previous girlfriends, and made up back stories on the fly for each. I lied because I didn't want her to think I was a social freak, and was afraid that she might think there was something wrong with me if I hadn't been in any relationships before (she is quite experienced in that arena). I kinda feel bad for lying, especially if we actually do get together...but maybe this was a necessary lie?? What do you guys think?

Ladyday

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Ok, so I am 21 years old...NEVER had a girlfriend before, never dated or anything. I come to find out that the girl down the hall likes me. We start talking, hitting it off, things are going good so far. About two days ago, we were talking and she asked about my previous relationships. I told her that I had 2 previous girlfriends, and made up back stories on the fly for each. I lied because I didn't want her to think I was a social freak, and was afraid that she might think there was something wrong with me if I hadn't been in any relationships before (she is quite experienced in that arena). I kinda feel bad for lying, especially if we actually do get together...but maybe this was a necessary lie?? What do you guys think?

I don't think that this was a necessary lie, I mean if she didn't like you just b/c you haven't had a girlfriend before what kind of person does that make her. But it also isn't like a BIG lie. It's not like you're a pedophile and never told her that. Can you live with knowing that you lied to her about this? If you can, who cares, it's not something that I think could came back to haunt you, although, if you guys became serious and she asks you a whole bunch of questions you have to continually come up with lie upon lie upon lie. If you can't live with that or you don't want to continue to lie, tell her the truth, and if she really likes you enough she'd understand.

Lavia

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She might think it's cute that you liked her so much you made up the silly lie.

I really enjoyed dating a couple of guys who were inexperienced. I felt special, and I felt "safe" as far as diseases go. I also understood better their quirks...I realized they had no experience, and I forgave them easier when they made mistakes.

I will admit, though, that I felt "responsible" for them. Like I had to "teach" them, take them under my wing. This was hard on me, but they didn't seem to suffer. In fact, they both ended up dumping me (but they are the few that have remained good friends with me).

I think owning up to it won't harm too much, and I think she'll be flattered.

Lavia

ruskiegirl

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I agree with Lavia.  Inexperienced is not always unattractive, especially in today's world where you really have to worry about the ones that have had too much experience.  I don't think the lie was necessary.  You want someone to like you for you and not the relationships that you have or haven't had.  I think honesty and trust are important components of each relationship and you probably ought to tell her the truth. 

Personally, I find younger/less experienced men attractive because they tend to tap into the "raw emotion" of a relationship rather than try to put up a front and appear cool, detached, manly, whatever.  My first bf in college was less experienced than I was. (I was his first gf ever and he was still in high school when we began dating.)  Out of all the men I have ever dated, he was the one that was the most open and uninhibited about his feelings.  He complimented me more, supported me at all times, and was more on his toes about making mistakes in the relationship. 

thechoson

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How come you haven't dated till now?  Are you shy?  Cause I DO THINK this is relevant to how you should approach this situation

Oh, and tell us about this girl. Is she hot, like Mrs. Thechoson?

thechoson

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Anyways, lying to a chick is like lying to God. You may be forgiven, or you may burn in hell.  Her call

Ginatio

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I'm in the same boat as you, bro. I'd have played it a little more cool, though. I would've told her the truth and said "to be honest, I haven't been in any other relationships because most of the women I've met haven't stood up to my standards"

so not only are you a virgin, but you're hard to get, too... women love that

thechoson

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I'm in the same boat as you, bro. I'd have played it a little more cool, though. I would've told her the truth and said "to be honest, I haven't been in any other relationships because most of the women I've met haven't stood up to my standards"

so not only are you a virgin, but you're hard to get, too... women love that

I don't know, this sounds pretty damn f-ing conceited.  Anyways, any 21 year old guy that says he never dated cause ALL THE GIRLS he could have dated were not up to his standards, is a f-ing tool, and a girl will see through this.

Ginatio

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i guess i'm a tool, then... most of the girl's i've met can't hold a conversation about anything meaningful. all they want to talk about is how much they hate school and how much they love to party. i hate that *&^%.

and the few decent girls you meet have various other mental and social problems that you come to discover about a week into the relationship.

I had a conversation about this with someone recently, actually, and her longest relationship had lasted 2 years... when she asked me, I said mine lasted 2 weeks. lol. i guess i'm a tool

I'm in the same boat as you, bro. I'd have played it a little more cool, though. I would've told her the truth and said "to be honest, I haven't been in any other relationships because most of the women I've met haven't stood up to my standards"

so not only are you a virgin, but you're hard to get, too... women love that

I don't know, this sounds pretty damn f-ing conceited.  Anyways, any 21 year old guy that says he never dated cause ALL THE GIRLS he could have dated were not up to his standards, is a f-ing tool, and a girl will see through this.

thechoson

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Ginatio, maybe you just aren't looking in the right places.  You are just finding these tool bitches.

Try girls that are really into SOMETHING, besides themselves.  Whether its studies, art, sex, sports, serial killing. Something.  You might have interesting conversations, and it might be a stepstone to a relationship that lasts longer than a menstrual cycle.  Also, are you one of those shallow dudes that just go for really hot chicks?  That might be it too.