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Author Topic: To Ladies who (eventually) want to have babies...  (Read 5455 times)

angmill08

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Re: To Ladies who (eventually) want to have babies...
« Reply #30 on: April 05, 2005, 04:49:12 PM »
I'll be 34 or 35 when I graduate ls, and I think I'll probably want to get pregnant soon after... maybe 36 or 37ish? I don't think that's too risky, health wise. My mom had all her kids in her late 30s and my aunt had a kid at age 40 and again at 41 with no problem... so I'm hoping I've gotten those genes or whatever and my experience will be similar.

Since I'm not planning on pursuing big law or and am not interested in more than a 40 hr work week, and am planning on a partner who feels the same way, I figure I'll be able to have a good balance of family and work time. I may also be in the same area as my parents, and I know my mom is willing to help with childcare, and that she plans to retire from her job within the next 5 years, so that's something I keep in the back of my mind too. Of course I say all this now, as others noted, the best laid plans...

Writing all this, I realized that my mom is now 65. Wow, we are all getting old! I still feel like I did in my 20s, and my parents are both younger looking and acting than their years. Most of the time I don't worry about getting old or the biological clock. I'm not that religious, but more and more I find myself agreeing with things like, "When God shuts a door, s/he opens a window." So I guess I am confident that it will all work out somehow.
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Applied: UT Austin (ED), Univ. of Houston, George Washington U & American U.
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angmill08

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Re: To Ladies who (eventually) want to have babies...
« Reply #31 on: April 05, 2005, 04:57:18 PM »
One more thing... here is an encouraging study done by a researcher in Texas. Also, after this article is a link to another encouraging study about the "optimal" time to have kids... http://www.utexas.edu/opa/news/2005/03/human_ecology25.html

I know that everyone's experience is different and the "optimal" time is different for everyone. But I found it encouraging to hear good news about the outcomes for women who delayed pregnancy.
164/3.46 Undergrad GPA, graduated college in 1996.
Applied: UT Austin (ED), Univ. of Houston, George Washington U & American U.
Accepted: Univ. of Houston, GW, American
Attending: GW, Fall 2006

Ninja

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Re: To Ladies who (eventually) want to have babies...
« Reply #32 on: April 05, 2005, 06:39:33 PM »
I am a male of male.  I'm hoping to land a high-paying job after law school, so that if I do get married and have kids, my wife will have the flexibility in her career to care for the kids and not have to worry about making a lot of money.  Sorry if it sounds like I'm from the old school, but I think it is important for at least one of the parents to be home to care for the kids.

momofthree

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Re: To Ladies who (eventually) want to have babies...
« Reply #33 on: April 05, 2005, 07:48:27 PM »
I have three kids, ages five, four and one (TODAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY E).  I will be 34 when I finish law school.  I worked for two years after undergrad and then stayed home with the kids.  My youngest will be almost 18 months when I start.  She is the only reason I am worried about going back to school.  The others will be in school all day. 
You want me to go all the way up there, to a Yankee school, just so I can come over every weekend and practice "free love" with you?

Lulu

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Re: To Ladies who (eventually) want to have babies...
« Reply #34 on: April 05, 2005, 09:43:06 PM »
My siblings and I were raised by nannies, and we turned out fine. Would it have been nice if my parents had been to more of my ball games? Sure, I guess. But I'm happy with the way my life turned out, and I don't resent them or anything. If I decide to have kids, I will probably follow in my parents' footsteps. I seem to be in the minority here.  ;)

naomi288

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Re: To Ladies who (eventually) want to have babies...
« Reply #35 on: April 05, 2005, 10:08:42 PM »
lulu, i will most likely have a nanny, like i said unless, i am marrying a millionaire and don't have to work, however, i am also not planning on going to law school and then never using my degree. i don't think it is out of the ordinary for couples in manhattan to have a nanny for their children. we'll have to see what happens, it looks like i am the baby in this discussion being only 22 so i have plenty of time to figure it out, first i have to kick some law school ass.
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Lulu

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Re: To Ladies who (eventually) want to have babies...
« Reply #36 on: April 05, 2005, 11:40:44 PM »
lulu, i will most likely have a nanny, like i said unless, i am marrying a millionaire and don't have to work, however, i am also not planning on going to law school and then never using my degree. i don't think it is out of the ordinary for couples in manhattan to have a nanny for their children. we'll have to see what happens, it looks like i am the baby in this discussion being only 22 so i have plenty of time to figure it out, first i have to kick some law school ass.

I'm with you naomi. i'm not going to law school to not work- to me personally it doesn't make any sense. then again, i think you tend to want to raise your  kids like you were raised if you're happy with the results  ;) not saying i will ignore my children or anything like that...i'm just not going to quit work for them.
also, i think it's important to be able to offer children financial security. if for some reason something were to happen to my hypothetical husband (or in case of divorce or something) i'd like to be able to offer my hypothetical children full financial support and be independent for myself as well.

i'm also a baby in the discussion. i'm in my early 20s and don't even have a steady boyfriend

HippieLawChick

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Re: To Ladies who (eventually) want to have babies...
« Reply #37 on: April 06, 2005, 12:14:15 AM »
I guess that I (to some extent) resent that we as women have to give up so much in order to have a family while men just generally don't.  I don't know a single male attorney who had to quit a job or take a less desireable position because of having a baby, but I know 5 women who have personally.  They all say "I will stay home with the kids", but most don't seem to actually mean that.  I love my SO and will marry him, but I am not sure that he realizes what staying home means. 

I am not a feminazi, just a feminist.

dave303

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Re: To Ladies who (eventually) want to have babies...
« Reply #38 on: April 06, 2005, 12:14:54 AM »
I only have this to add to the discussion;

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002920.htm

angmill08

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Re: To Ladies who (eventually) want to have babies...
« Reply #39 on: April 06, 2005, 12:21:38 AM »
Yeah, the expectation that women will be the primary child caregivers frustrates me too. But we women need to take responsibility for making life choices that make us happy. My #1 priority in the family area is to partner with someone whose life goals are compatible with mine and who is willing to make compromises so that we can both be happy and challenged in our work/family lives. My worst nightmare would be to feel trapped in a marriage where I couldn't pursue my dreams and then resent my husband/kids because of it.
164/3.46 Undergrad GPA, graduated college in 1996.
Applied: UT Austin (ED), Univ. of Houston, George Washington U & American U.
Accepted: Univ. of Houston, GW, American
Attending: GW, Fall 2006