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Author Topic: Being a 1L and 1st year of marriage  (Read 2080 times)

thereisaGOD

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Being a 1L and 1st year of marriage
« on: April 04, 2005, 02:06:30 PM »
Hi everyone, I'm getting married in June (on an island, yippie) and I wanted to know how difficult it will be to be a 1L in your first year of marriage.  Kind of stresses me out just thinking about it.  Any thoughts or experiences. Thanks

AgentRHE

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Re: Being a 1L and 1st year of marriage
« Reply #1 on: April 04, 2005, 05:14:47 PM »
I just got engaged, and I'll be getting married AFTER the 1L year, and we won't be living near each other for that year.  So, I'm curious to see what people have to say as well.
Attending: Wisconsin

Hotel Yorba

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Re: Being a 1L and 1st year of marriage
« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2005, 05:30:44 PM »
I'm getting married at the end of July. The honeymoon will be moving to Carlisle. If anyone has anything to say I'd like to hear it as well.

I know my wife to be undestands how little time I will have for her, so that is good. Also, the summer after we met (almost 2 years ago), she went back to her undergrad program in Arkansas (I'm in Michigan) for a semester before moving back to Michigan. So we have dealt with not seeing eachother for some time, and all was well.

WestCoast

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Re: Being a 1L and 1st year of marriage
« Reply #3 on: April 04, 2005, 05:38:02 PM »
can't be much worse than studying for the lsat, right?

i got married in august, then studied my ass off until the december lsats, then came the application process etc etc. we made it through it, but i think it definitely helped that we were already settled into the apartment a couple months ahead AND had been living together for a while. I imagine that it could be difficult if you've never cohabited before.
My #1 suggestion would be: keep a good thank you list. It'll come to bite you. You might put noting things down aside b/c of classes, then your mother in law will call you and bug you about those thank you notes all the time!

InVinoVeritas

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Re: Being a 1L and 1st year of marriage
« Reply #4 on: April 04, 2005, 05:39:14 PM »
OP -- have you already spent a fair amount of time living with your fiance?  if you have, i'd imagine the stress of being newly married won't be as bad than if you and your fiance have never really lived together. 

dubris

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Re: Being a 1L and 1st year of marriage
« Reply #5 on: April 04, 2005, 05:50:41 PM »
I've been told by other married couples to treat LS like a job (do work 8-6 or whatever) and that should leave evenings free for you and your spouse. This is what I plan to do. I've been working 8-6 for quite sometime, so hopefully it will work (helps if you're a morning person.)
I've lived with my fiancee for awhile, so we've already adjusted to each other. Don't know if you've done that.

DreaNM

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Re: Being a 1L and 1st year of marriage
« Reply #6 on: April 04, 2005, 06:08:13 PM »
No lies, 1st year and half or so of marriage is HARD. My husband and I lived together for about 2 years before we were married and no matter what, that ring does stand for something and not all happy rah rah's and all. I am not in LS yet, but my best advice would be for both of you to have "a plan" in how to deal with stressful times, times when you are very focused on school, finals, etc.

My husband and I really became pretty talented at this in our senior year in undergrad. We had times when we would just excuse ourselves from eachother. Make time for yourself that doesn't involve school like just shopping around or going to the gym. This time will be invaluable and you will appreciate eachother a heck of a lot more. That's my two cents! Best wishes in your marriage and LS!

jacy85

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Re: Being a 1L and 1st year of marriage
« Reply #7 on: April 04, 2005, 06:16:50 PM »
I've also heard that the first one to two years of marriage are rough.  Many expect it to be just great and awesome, but I personally know several couples that have had just really difficult times.

It's not necessarily a bad thing though.  I think working through the difficulties that a couple faces will give an even stronger foundation for their relationship.  I think many couples that get divorced within the first 5 years delude themselves into thinking that the rough patches don't exist, and they have no problems that first year.  Consequently, the things that need to get worked through never do, which tends to lead to disaster.

Granted, some couples really do seem to have it easy, but from the people who I know who are ridiculously happy in their marriages, this seems to be the general story I get.

thereisaGOD

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Re: Being a 1L and 1st year of marriage
« Reply #8 on: April 04, 2005, 06:21:34 PM »
We have never ever lived together before. So i'm sure that will be a huge adjustment.  I appreciate the advise and will look forward to more. 

ethelmag

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Re: Being a 1L and 1st year of marriage
« Reply #9 on: April 04, 2005, 06:27:25 PM »
I got married about 6 months ago and am starting law school in the fall, so my husband and I will be nearing the end of our first year of marriage when I start law school.

Fortunately for me, he is already a lawyer, so he knows all about what the first year (and the rest) of law school takes, and he's very supportive of me. But this creates other problems, like what if I feel like I don't measure up to how he did in law school? Or, will I be sucked into taking classes in his areas of interest instead of my own, since he talks about them all the time and points out how important they are?