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Author Topic: HELP! Bar Review/Social Life  (Read 959 times)

charleyadrian

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HELP! Bar Review/Social Life
« on: July 13, 2006, 10:27:02 AM »
I really hope that someone can help me with this. I am not taking the bar, but my boyfriend is taking it in about a week and a half. About a month and a half before before his prep he pretty much just cut contact with me.  He works as a computer engineer during the day and goes to bar review at night. He listens to his tapes during the commute.  The weekend prior to review we spent a great weekend at the beach.  Is this normal to lose contact with everyone before the exam?  I am sorry to take up space on the board with this question, but it is driving me crazy! Any information would be appreciated. Thanks so much.

jacy85

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Re: HELP! Bar Review/Social Life
« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2006, 07:06:07 PM »
Yes, that's fairly normal.  This is the most important test he will ever take in his entire life, and one that can make the last 3 years of work totally worthless.

Chill out, buy him a pizza and some coffee, and leave him alone for another week and a half.

charleyadrian

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Re: HELP! Bar Review/Social Life
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2006, 06:48:14 AM »
Thanks for the information.  I guess it does make sense. It is just kind of hard to take.  Who knows.  I've been having a pretty nice time partying with my friends, but it is always kind of on my mind. Thanks for taking the time to respond.  I know that this site isn't really for questions like this, so I really appreciate all of your responses. 

jacy85

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Re: HELP! Bar Review/Social Life
« Reply #3 on: July 14, 2006, 06:57:18 AM »
It is just kind of hard to take. 

Apparently, since 3 of the 4 posts you've made female dog about it.  ::)  I hope you didn't complain like this to him about how he wasn't spending time with you and crap.  If you did, then I'd agree with another post in a different thread that he's done with you.

charleyadrian

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Thanks Jacy!
« Reply #4 on: July 14, 2006, 08:09:25 AM »
Jacy - your comments are harsh, but they really do put things in perspective. You are right.  People handle stress differently. I am just thinking about my mom and the constant "talk" to do something when I was younger. All it did was sound like nagging and really piss me off.  Hearing someone outside of the situation put it the way that you did is kind of an eye opener. 

JD_MSA

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Re: HELP! Bar Review/Social Life
« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2006, 09:39:45 PM »
I don't want to beat this to death, but I am studying for the bar right now, too.  The best advice is to stay as far away from him as possible.  It sounds harsh.  It is harsh.  The stress of preparing for the bar is unimaginable, and keeping it at bay is perhaps the most challenging part of the whole process.  The only reason I am here right now is to take a mental break.

I had to sit down with my husband and tell him that he was not allowed to ask me any questions for the next 10 days, that I would not be taking the dog out, and that household reponsibilites were going to have to wait.  I made him move furniture around so that I could have a better studying environment.  If I could, I would leave the house and stay in a hotel from now until after the exam. 

In two weeks or so, everything will be back to normal.  Just leave me him alone for now.   :)

lalala

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Re: HELP! Bar Review/Social Life
« Reply #6 on: July 16, 2006, 09:18:04 PM »
Yes, that's normal.  Take a deep breath. give him a big hug, and realize that he'll rejoin the land of the living once the bar exam is over.

njgal

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Re: HELP! Bar Review/Social Life
« Reply #7 on: July 24, 2006, 12:11:29 AM »
it's totally normal. i'm sure you won't believe me, but be glad that you don't live with him right now. i am thisclose to killing my husband just for being around the house too much, and for nagging me about not spending enough time with him, not doing anything around the house, etc. i HAVE taken time out to spend with my kids (not as much as i'd like) and it has totally set me back. i consider time with my kids necessary, and i have no choice but to have my husband around (and i've even gone to a movie, some dinners, etc with him). if i had just a boyfriend who didn't live with me, i would not be spending any time with him right now. maybe a phone call or email at night to check in, that's it.

don't feel bad, it's not you and it's not a dis. he probably had lots of time for you during school, and it's hard to understand why he has none now. bar prep truly is much more time-consuming than law school. hang in there.

charleyadrian

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Re: HELP! Bar Review/Social Life
« Reply #8 on: July 25, 2006, 09:06:27 AM »
Wow! Thtat was really insightful.  It's kind of nice to know that someone else is feeling like I do (your husband).  I hope you kick a** if you are taking the test today!