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Author Topic: What's The Difference  (Read 7425 times)

zztop

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Re: What's The Difference
« Reply #40 on: July 10, 2006, 07:04:19 PM »
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.

The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."

The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."

The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."

The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless spineless, gutless, and their heads and their ass are interchangeable."

blackjesus

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Re: What's The Difference
« Reply #41 on: July 13, 2006, 06:08:20 PM »
A group of Arab terrorists burst into the conference room at the Ramada Hotel where the ABA was holding its Annual Convention. More than a hundred attorneys were taken as hostages.

The terrorist leader announced that, unless their demands were met, they would release one attorney every hour.

AmicThisDOTcom

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Re: What's The Difference
« Reply #42 on: July 16, 2006, 01:00:02 AM »
To the person who wrote this, I suggest an enema, STAT!

"Call it political correctness if you will, but using humor to demean a whole class of people leads to an erosion of respect for them. Every time a lawyer tells one of those jokes they aid in that erosion. It doesn't matter if you are telling a blonde joke or a Polish joke, you are sending a message that the people you are joking about people who deserve to be demeaned in some way. Jokes lead to hate. It's as simple as that."
I'm just a law machine, And I won't work for nobody but you!
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lll

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Re: What's The Difference
« Reply #43 on: July 16, 2006, 05:19:15 AM »
bill suck my male private part

pena

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Re: What's The Difference
« Reply #44 on: July 16, 2006, 05:38:36 AM »
A young lawyer was so deeply in love that just before he was married, he had his bride's name tattooed on his love muscle. Normally, only the first and last letters were visible, although when he was aroused, the tattoo spelled out W-E-N-D-Y. Now they're on their honeymoon at a resort in Montego Bay. One night, in the men's room, our lawyer finds himself standing next to a tall Jamaican at the urinal.

To his amazement, he notices that this man, too, has the letters W-Y tattooed on his penis. "Excuse me," he says, "but I couldn't help noticing your tattoo. Do you have a girlfriend named Wendy?" "No way, mon, I work for the Tourist board. Mine reads, "Welcome to Jamaica, mon, have a nice day.'"

sliceofamerica

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Re: What's The Difference
« Reply #45 on: July 18, 2006, 05:04:23 AM »
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards."

klinex

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Re: What's The Difference
« Reply #46 on: July 21, 2006, 06:29:14 AM »
There was a loser who couldn't get a date. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. The guy said, "It's simple. I just say, I'm a lawyer."

So the guy went up to a pretty woman and asked her out. After she said no, he told her that it was probably a good thing because he had a case early in the morning.

She said, "Oh!!!! Your a lawyer?"

He said, "Why yes I am!", so they went to his place and when they were in bed, screwing, he started to laugh to himself.

When she asked what was so funny, he answered,"Well, I've only been a lawyer for 15 minutes, and I'm already screwing someone!"

onefreeneutron

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Re: What's The Difference
« Reply #47 on: August 16, 2006, 07:40:13 PM »
The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity."

The lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked.
Never argue with an idiot, they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

comeoutandplay

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Re: What's The Difference
« Reply #48 on: September 02, 2006, 06:47:31 AM »
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't hear the question. "Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question." "Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."
The Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it was written on.

robmelone

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Re: What's The Difference
« Reply #49 on: September 02, 2006, 08:16:41 PM »
The rear tiger replies, "Well, I just ate an attorney and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth!"

That's a CRAPPY joke!  ;D