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Author Topic: What's The Difference  (Read 7257 times)

gaymarriage

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What's The Difference
« on: May 29, 2006, 06:14:44 PM »
What's The Difference Between A Lawyer And A Liar?

Anyone?

Budlaw

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Re: What's The Difference
« Reply #1 on: May 29, 2006, 07:02:48 PM »
What's The Difference Between A Lawyer And A Liar?

Anyone?

The pronunciation.

payout

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Re: What's The Difference
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2006, 07:27:28 PM »
Lawyers are not liars: 

Lawyers are not trained to lie. They are trained to twist the truth. There is a huge difference. You can be caught in a lie. When you twist the truth, you cannot be caught; it's just a matter of interpretation. A tax law teacher gives the same introductory speech at the beginning of every semester. He asks, "are there any accountants in the class?" Two or three hands go up. He says to them, "You're going to have trouble in this class. To you, numbers describe the truth. In tax law, there is no one truth. You push and pull on the numbers until they say what you want them to say."

Now, if you can make numbers say what you want, are words any problem?

The distinction is important, because we normally decide if someone is lying by looking for psychological cues: shifty eyes, covering the mouth, or dodging questions. When someone is professionally trained to twist the truth, they don't give those signs. When you speak to a lawyer, don't worry too much about lies - but always, always remember that you are in the reality distortion zone.

Lawyers in terms of coming to the right conclusion about the real world are some of the worst thinkers on the planet Earth. Because of their tendancy to twist reality, they have a fantastic gift for sounding logical while missing the broad side of the barn. It is more accurate to say lawyers are trained to think logically within the framework of law as chess players think within the framework of chess. (There is a very old saying, "The law sharpens a mind by narrowing it.") Would you go to a chess player for advice on your life? On business?

People often say that the main problem with lawyers is high bills. It is completely untrue. The main problem with lawyers is that most of what they do is useless, or actually harmful to their own client. U.S. President Thomas Jefferson a lawyer himself said in 1807 that, "It is the business of a lawyer to question everything, produce nothing, and bill by the hour." Billing, you notice, comes last. And not much has changed with lawyers.

Hire lawyers, now and then; for information, not to get/follow their advice. When you hire them to do something, make sure it is not something you want to have it necessarily done.

helenof

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Re: What's The Difference
« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2006, 07:43:01 PM »
Very interesting!

algol

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Re: What's The Difference
« Reply #4 on: May 29, 2006, 08:10:03 PM »

U.S. President Thomas Jefferson a lawyer himself said in 1807 that, "It is the business of a lawyer to question everything, produce nothing, and bill by the hour." Billing, you notice, comes last. And not much has changed with lawyers.

Hire lawyers, now and then; for information, not to get/follow their advice. When you hire them to do something, make sure it is not something you want to have it necessarily done.


Well, to make ourselves believe lawyers and the like are still useful, let's direct our attention for a moment to the Enneagram and number .. 9! The enlightened quality associated with the Nine (who is also known as 'the Mediator') is a capacity for reconciliation of opposites, synthesis, integration. It is symbolized by male and female deities in yab-yum position (what Jung calls the 'Mysterium Coniunctionis'), and by the Yin/Yang Diagram (which depicts the yin half of the diagram arising out of a yang core, and the yang half of the circle coming from a yin essence at its center). There is an interpenetrating nature to opposites which is recognized by the Nine in his/her wisdom.

The capacity for reconciliation originates in the appreciation, at the core of one's humanity, of what Thich Nhat Hanh calls "interbeing," our essential interconnectedness with other human beings and with the rest of the universe. It is difficult to find English or French words which convey the same meaning as "tiep hien." There is a term from the Avatamsaka Sutra, 'interbeing', which conveys the spirit, so "tiep hien" is translated as interbeing. In the sutra it is a compound term which means 'mutual' and 'to be'. Interbeing is a new word in English, as a matter of fact. We all have heard about "the many in the one," and "the one containing the many." In one sheet of paper, we see everything else, the cloud, the forest, the logger. I am, therefore you are. You are, therefore I am. That is the meaning of the word 'interbeing'. We inter-are.

We are still probably aeons away from realizing such a state of free mutual interrelatedness among all human beings. A profound respect for the real 'otherness' of the other being or ethical group is needed as well as the intimacy of a feeling of identity. But even this is not yet the ultimate stage of possible development ... There exists another stage ... a personal connection of fate through the self with selected people ... It is a relationship with the Self in the other person, with her or his totatily and oneness of opposites. Only love and not mind can understand the other person in this way. This form of love, Jung writes, "is not transference and it is more primitive, more primeval and more spiritual, than anything we can describe. That upper floor is no more you or I, it means many, including yourself and anybody whose heart you touch. There is no distance, but immediate presence. It is an eternal secret - how shall I ever explain it?

Thich Nhat Hanh has in mind this "mysterious something that makes any deep real encounter of two human beings possible" when he reminds us: "When you meditate, it is not just for yourself, you do it for the whole society. You seek solutions to your problems not only for yourself, but for all of us." The fact that, at some profound level, we "inter-are" accounts for how it is possible to mediate conflicts occuring between external parties through an internal reconciliation of opposites. By being able to maintain opposites in a state of dynamic synthesis within oneself, the outside world is brought into harmony.

This capacity for facilitation that seems to come naturally to the Nine can, however, degenerate into compromise and collaborationism . Instead of peace and harmony we have static states in which standoff, indolence and indecisiveness prevail, preventing positive change and creative movement. Let us call the D-quality associated with reconciliation and harmony 'stagnation, compromise and indolence'.
No matter how many draughts of forbidden wine we drink, we will carry this raging thirst into eternity.

kaplan

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Re: What's The Difference
« Reply #5 on: May 29, 2006, 08:38:19 PM »

Three Lawyers

watchtell

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Re: What's The Difference
« Reply #6 on: May 29, 2006, 09:11:27 PM »
HAHAHA

H2OFun

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Re: What's The Difference
« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2006, 09:32:50 PM »
A very wealthy lawyer vacationed for several weeks each year at his summer home in the backwoods of Maine. Each summer, he would invite friends to come to visit him.

One summer he invited a lawyer from Czechoslovakia to visit him. The friend, eager to see how a wealthy American vacationed, gratefully agreed. They had a wonderful vacation, and spent a great deal of time exploring the woods and enjoying the natural setting.

One morning, as the lawyer and his Czechoslovakian friend were walking through the woods, they were approached by two huge bears -- a male and a female. The lawyer noticed them in time to run for cover. His friend, however, was not so lucky. The male bear reached him and swallowed him whole.

Seeing this, the lawyer ran to his Mercedes and sped for the nearest town to get the local sheriff. The sheriff grabbed a high-powered rifle and they raced back to the berry patch. Luckily, the bears were still there.

"He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing at the bear that had consumed his friend. "Quick -- shoot it. Maybe we can still save my friend!"

The sheriff looked at the bears, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and shot the female. His aim was true, and the female bear collapsed to the ground. The startled mail fled into the woods.

"Why did you do that?" demanded the lawyer, "I said he was in the other bear!"

"Exactly," replied the sheriff. "Would YOU believe a lawyer who told you that the Czech was in the male?"

evidenz

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Re: What's The Difference
« Reply #8 on: May 31, 2006, 07:46:34 AM »
The scene is a dark jungle in Africa. Two tigers are stalking through the brush when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the ass of the tiger in front. The startled tiger turns around and says, "Hey! Cut it out, already." The rear tiger says, "Sorry," and they continue.

After about another 5 minutes, the rear tiger again reaches out with his tongue and licks the ass of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and cuffs the rear tiger and says, "I said stop it!" The rear tiger says, "Sorry," and they continue.

After about another 5 minutes, the rear tiger once more licks the ass of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and asks the rear tiger, "What is it with you, anyway?"

The rear tiger replies, "Well, I just ate an attorney and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth!"

buttlaw

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Re: What's The Difference
« Reply #9 on: May 31, 2006, 09:43:12 PM »
Believe it or not, not all lawyers are horrible human beings. A lot actually do it to help people. It's unfortunate that lawyers in general are looked down upon as weasels because a lot of them are actually good people who just want to help...seriously!