I'd consider doing the Shawshank Redemption method:
Carve your name somewhere in the law school (library tables work well) and then hang yourself.
Realistically, I would be surprised if another school would take you. Every transfer student knows that his undergrad record/LSAT aren't as important as his 1L grades because it is your law GPA that demonstrates you have "the right stuff" and can excel in the law school environment.
The converse, which is your situation, is also true. Getting crappy grades is a strong indication that you can't handle law school, regardless of UGPA/LSAT, etc.
This of course is subject to exceptional circumstances which might have lead to the grades (death of a family member) or if you are at a T14, I'm sure a T.T.T. would pick you up.
I have the feeling neither of those is the case or you would have mentioned that.
So, yeah. Find about 6 feet of rope.