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Author Topic: Chuck Norris!  (Read 3367 times)

brewha

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Chuck Norris!
« on: March 07, 2006, 12:17:29 AM »
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.


Chuck Noris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".



Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.




Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
pudding is delightful

shao2007

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Re: Chuck Norris!
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2006, 12:39:51 AM »
Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer



Too Bad Chuck Norris doesn't cry

shamrock13

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Re: Chuck Norris!
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2006, 12:47:34 AM »
chuck norris doesn't sleep.  he waits. 

brewha

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Re: Chuck Norris!
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2006, 12:59:53 AM »
One time in an airport a guy accidently called Chuck Norris "Chick Norris". He explained it was an honest mistake and apologized profusely. Chuck accepted his apology and politley signed an autograph. Nine months later, the guy's wife gave birth to a bearded baby. The guy knew exactly what had happened, and blames nobody but himself.
pudding is delightful

QUAKER OATS

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Re: Chuck Norris!
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2006, 09:08:19 AM »
This summer I shall apply for a transfer to Harvard Law School.  In the correspondence, I shall include only a blank application along with a picture of Chuck Norris entitled "Do you know who my father is?"  According to my calculations, I will receive a prompt acceptance along with a full scholarship.

wardwilliams

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Re: Chuck Norris!
« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2006, 09:59:06 AM »
Once, while filming on location for "Walker, Texas Ranger," Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. After it had sprung back to life Chuck grabbed the farm animal and snapped it's neck, just to remind the cast and crew that Chuck giveth and the good Chuck taketh away.

HandsBurdenTest

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Re: Chuck Norris!
« Reply #6 on: March 07, 2006, 11:11:59 AM »
Chuck Norris CAN judge a book by its cover.

majorporcupine

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Re: Chuck Norris!
« Reply #7 on: March 07, 2006, 05:14:32 PM »
How much wood could Chuck Norris chuck if Chuck Norris could chuck wood?

If a tree falls in the middle of a forest and no one hears it, did Chuck Norris just silently kill a tree?

brewha

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Re: Chuck Norris!
« Reply #8 on: March 07, 2006, 05:49:22 PM »
Once, while filming on location for "Walker, Texas Ranger," Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. After it had sprung back to life Chuck grabbed the farm animal and snapped it's neck, just to remind the cast and crew that Chuck giveth and the good Chuck taketh away.

HAHAHAHA

Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive.
pudding is delightful

jamesjameson

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Re: Chuck Norris!
« Reply #9 on: March 07, 2006, 08:41:38 PM »
He counted to infinity-twice :o
The James of Jamesons et al.