You mentioned you had a family life (I'm assuming spouse and/or kids), so I take it you're non-traditional, or at least are not fresh out of undergrad. If so, find people in the same boat. Find those who take themselves seriously. Find a study group with people you might enjoy being around.I have to agree with everyone though that your attitude about friendships in law school is borderline awful. You see friends as a competitive advantage, and readily admit you don't want a best friend or confidante. If you mean you don't want to be friends with a lot of people in the law school, that's fine, I feel the same way. But that's why cliques aren't all bad. I found people who I enjoy being around, who I find approach the experience similar to me, and who respect me. By the way, many superficial people are just superficial on the surface. Try getting to know someone and maybe you'll realize it's not that bad.
But then there comes the all-encompassing "what'cha doin Friday night" that I will have to say no to... which without me wanting it to... begins to burn bridges.
And for me, if people are superficial on the surface, that pretty much does it for me. I don't think you should have to search deep down inside a person to find good things about them.
I'm sure that when they invite you, your spouse is also invited. If you have a child, perhaps you can find a baby-sitter. If it's the kind of event where kids can come, then bring them! To be honest, though, if the shoe were on the other foot. I would find your "superficial" hellos to be a disguised middle finger. True friends don't just say hello when passing each other. They hang out and talk in the lunch room, they gripe about profs and reading assignment after class, etc. Ppl say hello to me all of the time but I know who my real friends are and several of those ppl aren't included.