CLASSMATES...

[Villus]

You mentioned you had a family life (I'm assuming spouse and/or kids), so I take it you're non-traditional, or at least are not fresh out of undergrad.  If so, find people in the same boat.  Find those who take themselves seriously.  Find a study group with people you might enjoy being around.

I have to agree with everyone though that your attitude about friendships in law school is borderline awful.  You see friends as a competitive advantage, and readily admit you don't want a best friend or confidante.  If you mean you don't want to be friends with a lot of people in the law school, that's fine, I feel the same way.  But that's why cliques aren't all bad.  I found people who I enjoy being around, who I find approach the experience similar to me, and who respect me.  By the way, many superficial people are just superficial on the surface.  Try getting to know someone and maybe you'll realize it's not that bad.

I agree about the cliques thing, but while you are trying to find the "right" people to be around, it's hard to get rid of the "wrong" ones that you have met and been friendly with. That's where the awkwardness comes from because it's hard to start avoiding people who i've previously been hanging out with. And for me, if people are superficial on the surface, that pretty much does it for me. I don't think you should have to search deep down inside a person to find good things about them.

[lincolnsgrandson]

either loosen up, change your attitude, or just stop caring about your classmates altogether.  But retaining your superior attitude will just make you feel like more of a shmuck when you don't finish near the top of your class.

[buck]

And for me, if people are superficial on the surface, that pretty much does it for me. I don't think you should have to search deep down inside a person to find good things about them.


[/quote]

um...
su·per·fi·cial

ADJECTIVE:

1.  Of, affecting, or being on or near the surface: a superficial wound.
2.  Concerned with or comprehending only what is apparent or obvious; shallow.
3.  Apparent rather than actual or substantial: a superficial resemblance.
4.  Trivial; insignificant: made only a few superficial changes in the manuscript.

[zaphod]

But then there comes the all-encompassing "what'cha doin Friday night" that I will have to say no to... which without me wanting it to... begins to burn bridges.

Don't worry, it sounds like it won't take long before no one is asking you to do anything with them.  Seriously, the poster who talked about networking is dead on.  If that's the view you need to take in order to lighten up, do it. 

[Villus]

And for me, if people are superficial on the surface, that pretty much does it for me. I don't think you should have to search deep down inside a person to find good things about them.

um...
su·per·fi·cial

ADJECTIVE:

1.  Of, affecting, or being on or near the surface: a superficial wound.
2.  Concerned with or comprehending only what is apparent or obvious; shallow.
3.  Apparent rather than actual or substantial: a superficial resemblance.
4.  Trivial; insignificant: made only a few superficial changes in the manuscript.
[/quote]
Thanks for clearing that up Buckie.

[giraffe205]

I'm sure that when they invite you, your spouse is also invited. If you have a child, perhaps you can find a baby-sitter. If it's the kind of event where kids can come, then bring them!

To be honest, though, if the shoe were on the other foot. I would find your "superficial" hellos to be a disguised middle finger. True friends don't just say hello when passing each other. They hang out and talk in the lunch room, they gripe about profs and reading assignment after class, etc. Ppl say hello to me all of the time but I know who my real friends are and several of those ppl aren't included.

[T. Durden]

time for a new avatar giraffe

we demand more skin

[jd2b06]

I'm sure that when they invite you, your spouse is also invited. If you have a child, perhaps you can find a baby-sitter. If it's the kind of event where kids can come, then bring them!

To be honest, though, if the shoe were on the other foot. I would find your "superficial" hellos to be a disguised middle finger. True friends don't just say hello when passing each other. They hang out and talk in the lunch room, they gripe about profs and reading assignment after class, etc. Ppl say hello to me all of the time but I know who my real friends are and several of those ppl aren't included.

Hey Giraffe,

I guess I didn't see it that way and definitely didn't know that my "hellos" could potentially be seen by my classmates as an upraised middle finger.  I definitely don't dislike them... I suppose people would feel a bit rejected by my behavior.  Thanks for bringing that to my attention.  I suppose one social function now and again couldn't hurt.     

[lincolnsgrandson]

You may not hate them - but you do feel superior to them.