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Author Topic: Relationship w/ girlfirend, fiance, or wife possible during law school?  (Read 3107 times)

Melinda

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Re: Relationship w/ girlfirend, fiance, or wife possible during law school?
« Reply #10 on: January 14, 2006, 09:31:46 PM »
I am in a 2 1/2 year relationship.  We lived together before law school, but now are in schools 8 hours apart.  We see each other every 3-4 weeks & talk multiple times a day.  I think having a relationship helped me stay grounded  & I really benefited from the constant support from my boyfriend.  It was hard initially to adjust to living alone again, but I think spending a lot of time alone, at least for me, is a big part of law school.  This may sound odd, but we went to a counselor prior to the move.  Not because we were having any problems, but in anticipation of the difficulties ahead.  We were both committed to making this work & wanted advice on how to go about it.  I think the long distance thing was good for my studying because I was less distracted, and since he was in school too (engineering) he understood.  I also read the book "1L" and then gave it to him to read, which gave him a glimpse into what law school is like.

At school I quickly made friends with other students who are either married or in live-in relationships.  Most of us worked before law school, and have the maturity that goes along with it.  While my classmates are out partying every weekend I am at a coffee shop studying.  Then when my boyfriend comes up I am rewarded with most of the weekend off. 


older1L

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Re: Relationship w/ girlfirend, fiance, or wife possible during law school?
« Reply #11 on: January 15, 2006, 01:21:58 AM »
It's very possible.  I think the most important thing is for you SO to understand exactly the type and amount of pressure you will be facing.  One thing my school has that helps is an informal group of law school spouses (currently all female, but not exclusive) that get together for book club, parties, etc... They usually get together more frequently during finals, and it's a good way for new law school spouses to get some advice from spouses of 2 & 3Ls.

PSUDSL08

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Re: Relationship w/ girlfirend, fiance, or wife possible during law school?
« Reply #12 on: January 15, 2006, 10:05:45 PM »
I started the same types of posts last year, so now that I've got some solid footing, I'll throw in my experience. My girlfriend and I will be reaching the 3 year relationship plateau next week. Last year, we did 6 hours of long distance while both working full time. This year, I'm in my first year of law school and we're living 3 hours apart. The way we've made it this far is through sacrifice. She sacrifices by doing a lot of the driving...My sacrifices are different. Instead of going out every weekend and getting plastered...I'm staying in on Friday and Saturday nights trying to get ahead (whether it's reading, outlining, working on legal writing assignments). When she comes in, we spend the entire friday night together. On saturday's, we'll wake up, eat breakfast..then I'll hit the books from 10 or 11 until 2 (she will normally go to the mall or run errands while I'm reading). ..then I wont do anything else that Saturday. Sunday's she leaves in the morning and I study all day.
Being that you'll be in the same town living together, there's absolutely no reason that you couldn't enjoy your weekends with her. I'd say it also depends on what type of personality your girlfriend has as well...it's going to be a tough adjustment for her too, but as long as she's understanding of your situation, and isn't too needy, there's no reason it couldn't work. In fact, you'll grow to appreciate the time you have together even more so than you ever did before.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm envious of your situation...I'm trying to convince my girlfriend to find another job and move out to where I'm going to school. You're already there, so I'd consider that a bonus. Personally, I think anticipation of the unknown is the most nervewracking feeling...but once you get settled and get a routine going, I'm sure you and your significant other will be just fine.

sahm

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Re: Relationship w/ girlfirend, fiance, or wife possible during law school?
« Reply #13 on: January 18, 2006, 01:04:43 AM »
Relationships are certainly possible during law school.  I have been married for 12 years and have 3 young children.  I find the time for my husband and kids and plenty of time to study - it's all about time management and priorities.  I am a 1L and, so far, my grades have not suffered and neither has my family.  I find time to take the kids to soccer practice, spend time with my husband, and still find plenty of time for school.  I have been active in pro bono opportunities at school and have even founded a new student organization.  The thing to remember is that it is important to be organized and to manage your study time effectively.  Also, make sure that your relationship remains a priority.     
Curiosity killed the cat, but for awhile I was a suspect.

-S.W.

Mimimimi

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Re: Relationship w/ girlfirend, fiance, or wife possible during law school?
« Reply #14 on: January 18, 2006, 11:05:04 AM »
You'll be fine.   Remember that to a large extent, law school is only as miserable as you make it. 

lincolnsgrandson

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Re: Relationship w/ girlfirend, fiance, or wife possible during law school?
« Reply #15 on: January 18, 2006, 03:39:27 PM »
I've had a girlfriend, fiance, and wife during law school. This wasn't so bad, because they were all the same person.  If you planning on having a separate girlfriend, fiance , and wife, I think you'll have some trouble. 

But in all seriousness, everything txaggie wrote is truth so you should just cut and paste it onto your hard drive (I don't know of any divorces, though.  Just marriages that put up with a lot and came out stronger). 
I would add that you no matter how much work you do in law school, you have to share housework.  That goes for the both of you.  Your fiance/spouse doesn't get off the hook just because she's the one with the full-time job.