Law School Discussion

Why do men throw women over their shoulders?--Guys help me out.

Okay, why do men throw women over their shoulders like they have not evolved much since they were Neanderthals? Please, I am honestly trying to understand male behavior and google has failed me in my search. Psychologically, what is going on in their head when they do this?

I'd like some input from guys, but ladies feel free to talk about it.

dft

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Re: Why do men throw women over their shoulders?--Guys help me out.
« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2005, 03:59:49 PM »
ur hot     

hth    ;)

Okay, why do men throw women over their shoulders like they have not evolved much since they were Neanderthals? Please, I am honestly trying to understand male behavior and google has failed me in my search. Psychologically, what is going on in their head when they do this?

I'd like some input from guys, but ladies feel free to talk about it.

lp4law

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Re: Why do men throw women over their shoulders?--Guys help me out.
« Reply #2 on: October 26, 2005, 05:14:08 PM »
Okay, why do men throw women over their shoulders like they have not evolved much since they were Neanderthals?

Because we haven't.

Psychologically, what is going on in their head when they do this?

"Mongo like Jane.  Jane good to Mongo."

lipper

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Re: Why do men throw women over their shoulders?--Guys help me out.
« Reply #3 on: October 26, 2005, 05:30:32 PM »
giraffe - did u know that your knees in that pic are very easily mistaken for whipped cream. (think varsity blues)

Todd

Re: Why do men throw women over their shoulders?--Guys help me out.
« Reply #4 on: October 26, 2005, 09:43:37 PM »
Because it's easier than picking you up any other way.

BigTex

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Re: Why do men throw women over their shoulders?--Guys help me out.
« Reply #5 on: October 26, 2005, 09:52:43 PM »
Okay, why do men throw women over their shoulders like they have not evolved much since they were Neanderthals? Please, I am honestly trying to understand male behavior and google has failed me in my search. Psychologically, what is going on in their head when they do this?

I'd like some input from guys, but ladies feel free to talk about it.

It's done for the basic reason demonstrated in your post - women find it notable and comment worthy. If a guy picks a lady up over his shoulder, it's usually in a jocular setting w/ alcohol present. Everybody laughs and later the ladies get together and ponder "why did johny pick jane up and put jane over his shoulder? I think johny likes jane!!". Thus, the act provides a way for johny to ambiguously express interest in jane and yet still remain able to safely deny any such interest (e.g. "i was just horsing around") if jane rejects his advances.

dft

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Re: Why do men throw women over their shoulders?--Guys help me out.
« Reply #6 on: October 26, 2005, 10:56:59 PM »
excellent analysis. A+

haha jk

Okay, why do men throw women over their shoulders like they have not evolved much since they were Neanderthals? Please, I am honestly trying to understand male behavior and google has failed me in my search. Psychologically, what is going on in their head when they do this?

I'd like some input from guys, but ladies feel free to talk about it.

It's done for the basic reason demonstrated in your post - women find it notable and comment worthy. If a guy picks a lady up over his shoulder, it's usually in a jocular setting w/ alcohol present. Everybody laughs and later the ladies get together and ponder "why did johny pick jane up and put jane over his shoulder? I think johny likes jane!!". Thus, the act provides a way for johny to ambiguously express interest in jane and yet still remain able to safely deny any such interest (e.g. "i was just horsing around") if jane rejects his advances.

Re: Why do men throw women over their shoulders?--Guys help me out.
« Reply #7 on: October 27, 2005, 12:45:23 AM »
Yes, the shrinking of the picture has that affect.

giraffe - did u know that your knees in that pic are very easily mistaken for whipped cream. (think varsity blues)

In response to Big Tex's answser...is it nothing more than just flirting? is the guy so incapable of flirting in other more conventional ways that he does this? what if jane and tarzan had already hooked up and tarzan still did this when no one else was around?

BigTex

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Re: Why do men throw women over their shoulders?--Guys help me out.
« Reply #8 on: October 27, 2005, 10:33:33 AM »
in response to Big Tex's answser...is it nothing more than just flirting?

It is not "more" than flirting, it is in fact "less" than flirting, and deliberately so. When a guy flirts with a girl in a traditional manner (puts arm around her, nuzzles up close, gives googly eyes, etc.) it is usually undisputed that flirting is occuring, leaving the guy in the vulnerable situation of "me like you. you like me?". If, indeed, she does not like him, then a shift in power has occurred in their relationship. Namely, the girl has power over the guy in that he likes her but she doesn't like him (at least in the 'kissy' sense of like). The brilliance of "putting lady over the shoulder" is that it could be interpreted as canonical male horseplay. So, if the lady responds with "i don't like you in a 'kissy' way", he can retort "whoah! don't get any ideas. i was just horsing around with you like i would with any guy friend." Ergo, no shift in power in their relationship.

is the guy so incapable of flirting in other more conventional ways that he does this?

It's a risk/reward assessment. I'm sure women do it too and have similiar contrived flirtation conventions. If the guy is relatively sure the lady is going to react positively, he will adopt conventional flirtation. If he's not sure how she'll react, and especially if there are latent power dynamics in the social setting in which they are both participants, the safer 'horseplay' flirting is preferred.

what if jane and tarzan had already hooked up and tarzan still did this when no one else was around?

This is an interesting distinction, and may involve a different phenomenon (dude wants dude in lady form, see below) but is still consistent with all of the above, but with the flirtation directed at a new target. In the scenario you propose (i.e. they have "hooked up" and he's still "horseplaying") then presumably the guy is no longer flirting for the purposes of sex because he's already getting that. What I've noticed is that this horseplay will continue for the same reason because the guy is now flirting toward a new objective, but still trying to retain the 'safety' of horseplay flirting. Specifically, the guy may be trying to indicate that he wants 'love' stuff, beyond the mere 'kissy' and sex stuff. But it is utterly taboo that the guy should overtly say so, lest he be profoundly injured in such an overt display of vulnerability. It's not as bad if the girl says "i don't want to have sex w/ you", because, in the traditional sense, guys are supposed to go for sex and girls are supposed to say no. So, a rejection of a request for sex is simply a fulfillment of traditional male/female roles. However, if they guy is asking for "love" stuff, he has reversed roles and is behaving like a traditional female. If the girl rejects him, she is behaving like the traditional male who is uninterested in "love" and just wants sex. In this situation the guy is completely emasculated because not only is his offer of "love" rejected but he is left in the despicable (according the principles governing all of this interaction) role of a meek female pleading for love. Thus, there's even more incentive for the guy to propose "love" stuff obliquely, like through private horseplay flirtation.

There is, or course, a completely different alternative of what's going on. The standard "guy fantasy" is to have one of his guy friends become a hot chick and they start having sex. The idea is, you get all the benefits of a guy/guy relationship (e.g. horseplay, watching football games, throwing beer bottles at passers-by on the street) and all of the benefits of a guy/girl relationship (no long list here, just straight sex) without any of the drawbacks of the guy/girl relationship (e.g. long list here, having to hang out with her and do boring 'chick' stuff and continually appease her alien emotional needs). In this case, the continued horseplay could be an indication of a desire to move the relationship into this idealized model of "a fellow dude who happens to be a super hot chick".

lp4law

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Re: Why do men throw women over their shoulders?--Guys help me out.
« Reply #9 on: October 27, 2005, 12:46:01 PM »
Or perhaps he just enjoys exploiting his male strength in order to feel strong/powerful. 

Nah.  He pretty much wants to bang her.