Depressed and lonely in law school?

[Rosalind747]

I know that a lot of people go through this mid-semester, but the lonlieness of studying all the time is really depressing me. Plus, it seems like all the cool people go out all the time to clubs but I feel too old and tired for that. I like being in law school, I just wish I didn't go to school with a ton of valley-girl sorority types. And there's only so much TV I can watch in my free time. Anyone else dealing with this?

[racheles05]

I feel your pain, but luckily I made a couple of friends at school who I see eye-to-eye with. I think maybe the key is to find one or two people who you connect with, and then make time to do something once in a while with those people. I promise, there's at least one other person who feels the way that you do! You just might have to take the initiative and introduce yourself.

[up_late]

Yep, that's why I'm roaming this board.

My thoughts:

#1: Chuck the TV.  Split the resulting free time between sleeping and being with other people.

#2: Find something to do with other people
a.  My law school has a lot of public interest and community service things to do.  Yours might too.  It's a good way to meet a broader group of people, at least some of whom may not be valley girls.  And some of these activities are interesting learning experiences.
b.  Early evening or afternoon social activities.  A restaurant was giving a % of its profits on a particular night to charity, so a few days in advance, I emailed my section and other law students I knew to see who wanted to go to dinner.  We had a nice little group that night.  Our student bar association does a very popular bowling tournament.  A friend of mine maintains an email list -- he announces a restaurant each week, and anyone interested just goes on Tuesday night.  A friend of mine got an email about a big event on campus, so she emailed all of her law friends to see who was up for it.  Some of my friends get together for regular walks or gym workouts.  A girl in my section was in a big stage production on campus, so I found a few law students to go with.  I joined a foreign-language table.  Nothing elaborate -- just ways to interact outside of the club scene.  The people you like will migrate towards the same activities you do.
c.  Mock trial.  It's a big time commitment over a short period of time.  But you get to know your team, it can be fun, and it does go on the resume.
d.  Religious, political, or minority interest groups, if you are so inclined, inside or outside of the law school.  I volunteered with some of my fellow students on election day last year.  A religious group helped me keep some focus in grad school.
e.  A 1L I know joined the town's community orchestra
f.  Call your family and non-law-school friends.
g.  Cats.

#3: Try studying in places with other people around.  I hate studying in my apartment or in the secluded carrels in the law library.  I much prefer the more public areas of the law school, or coffee shops and restaurants.  It's nice to see there are other people around.

[jacy85]

Good advice, up-late.  I'm not into late nights at bars and drinking.  I'd much rather cook dinner, watch a movie, maybe have a glass of wine.

Instead of forcing myself to go out to bars I'd rather not be, I meet up with people for dinner before they head out to the bars, or a bunch of us will go out to lunch after class.  Now that the first month and a half of school is over, there seem to be fewer people willing to go out and party both nights of the weekend.  The quieter night we all go see a movie or maybe go bowling or something.

Joining clubs and other activities are great too.  Emory has a food club, which is essentially the email list up-late mentioned trying new restaurants and things.  I absolutely find that studying in a coffee shop and just being around others can be helpful.

[mm]

I am pretty lucky, because my section if pretty cool, but for what is worth, my neighbour, who is a 2L was telling me that it took her a few months before she met people that she clicked with.  Now, they make a point to go out for dinner one night a week and brunch once a week.

Its still early - you will meet people that you will bond with.  As for the loneliness, I agree, join a club - maybe try and get involved with the graduate students association somehow, so its not just law students you hang around.

[dft]

i don't know if the jd program at my school is even technically considered a graduate program. actually, it definitely isnt -- i just checked online.

I am pretty lucky, because my section if pretty cool, but for what is worth, my neighbour, who is a 2L was telling me that it took her a few months before she met people that she clicked with.  Now, they make a point to go out for dinner one night a week and brunch once a week.

Its still early - you will meet people that you will bond with.  As for the loneliness, I agree, join a club - maybe try and get involved with the graduate students association somehow, so its not just law students you hang around.

[touro1979]

Yep, that's why I'm roaming this board.

My thoughts:

#1: Chuck the TV.  Split the resulting free time between sleeping and being with other people.

#2: Find something to do with other people
a.  My law school has a lot of public interest and community service things to do.  Yours might too.  It's a good way to meet a broader group of people, at least some of whom may not be valley girls.  And some of these activities are interesting learning experiences.
b.  Early evening or afternoon social activities.  A restaurant was giving a % of its profits on a particular night to charity, so a few days in advance, I emailed my section and other law students I knew to see who wanted to go to dinner.  We had a nice little group that night.  Our student bar association does a very popular bowling tournament.  A friend of mine maintains an email list -- he announces a restaurant each week, and anyone interested just goes on Tuesday night.  A friend of mine got an email about a big event on campus, so she emailed all of her law friends to see who was up for it.  Some of my friends get together for regular walks or gym workouts.  A girl in my section was in a big stage production on campus, so I found a few law students to go with.  I joined a foreign-language table.  Nothing elaborate -- just ways to interact outside of the club scene.  The people you like will migrate towards the same activities you do.
c.  Mock trial.  It's a big time commitment over a short period of time.  But you get to know your team, it can be fun, and it does go on the resume.
d.  Religious, political, or minority interest groups, if you are so inclined, inside or outside of the law school.  I volunteered with some of my fellow students on election day last year.  A religious group helped me keep some focus in grad school.
e.  A 1L I know joined the town's community orchestra
f.  Call your family and non-law-school friends.
g.  Cats.

#3: Try studying in places with other people around.  I hate studying in my apartment or in the secluded carrels in the law library.  I much prefer the more public areas of the law school, or coffee shops and restaurants.  It's nice to see there are other people around.

I got two cats in my 2nd year and this helped a lot.  Its hard to be depressed when you have a couple of fur balls to come home to.  You could also look to gettinga roomate or two.  Most law schools have boards that people can post on who are interested in rooming with other people.  Just make sure you get someone studious who isnt an a*shole.

[giraffe205]

My bff from law school and I didn't even really start seriously talking until winter break. We had the same circle of friends so I would see her when we all got together for dinner, but never really talked on our own until then.

Sometimes it just takes awhile. It's an odd situation to be stuck w/ 50-100 ppl who you don't know and having to bond and go through the learning process together.

On a side note, may I ask why you feel too old to go to bars and clubs? I can understand the club situation, but why bars?

[lipper]

get a bottle of jimmy bean and drown your sorrows away.

[emarejay]

Lucky for me, I like to go out to bars and drink a lot. I've met most of my friends through party type activities. If that wasn't my cup of tea, it would be much harder I think to have steady friends since in general people that go out and party are more outgoing and people that don't are not. Nothing wrong with that, but it does make finding close friends more difficult. Give it time, Im sure it will work out.