Best Professor Lines This Year

[bceagle]

Absolutely the best. I was trying to keep his name off the 'net though, regarding that whole "Vegas" comment. I'd hate for him to find me and kill me.

Oh yeah...didnt think about that.  Yesterday was the first time i visited this board since the summer, i was stunned that i actually recognized someones comments from class.

[bruin04]

Prof discussing advertising-promise? AXE body spray; My clothes are still on, women aren't jumping on me at the store, I haven't had sex in months.

Not my class, but: "Marlboros are better than sex. If you aren't getting any sex, go smoke some Marlboros."

[trouble]

From my contracts professor:

"Before I take a case, I perform 'The Grandmother Test.'  I tell my Grandmother about the case, and judging from her reaction, I can tell whether or not I'm on the right side of the situation."  ((brief pause))

"But who knows.  Grandma might be a Commie."

[up_late]

“You’re throwing darts at all the right dartboards, but you’re not quite hitting the bullseye.”

[lipper]

when asked about a review session last year in contracts:

"oh we can have one if u want. it won't help. i promise it will make you more confused. But if u wane one, thats fine, i won't be confused"

[lipper]

and a funny story my contracts prof once told us:

for one reason that i forget, 2 law professors were arrested and called a third law professor to ask them what they should do. the third law professor reponded, "how the hell should i know? im a law professor, not a lawyer, call a lawyer"

[bacchus]

One professor particularly hates the use of pronouns.  When a student answered with the word it, he said "Keep using the word it, it is an excuse for thinking.  When I give you your exam just write it did this, it did that.  You'll "it" your way to a D.  Then when you graduate from law school you can write a book titled 'How I it'd my way to a D'.

[midjeep]

Criminal:
“If you are going to rape a woman, rape her carefully”

Contracts:
Prof: "Mr. Zarzo[mispronounces his]...."
Student: [Tries to correct him]
Prof: “When you start coming to class on time, I’ll get your name right”

Civ Pro:
"You can stick the opinion of that case in the shitcan"

"Ladies, a lot about winning in front of a judge is based on good looks and appearences. [Points to a female student] You would probably win your case. [Points to another female student] You...well you should spend more time preparing."

[gusrip98]

From my contracts professor:

"Before I take a case, I perform 'The Grandmother Test.'  I tell my Grandmother about the case, and judging from her reaction, I can tell whether or not I'm on the right side of the situation."  ((brief pause))

"But who knows.  Grandma might be a Commie."

I love your avatar.......that looks exactly like what my property class feels like.

[trouble]

Thanks for the complement.  That's actually what I feel like doing to my Civ Pro professor at the end of every class.