Best Professor Lines This Year

[MR2Tyler]

My Torts prof:  "You read the cases, then I ask you questions about the cases which demonstrate that you didn't understand them."

-Ty

[nonamesleftforme]

In response to a student's cell phone vibrating:

"Excuse me, I think you're vibrator is going off."

[celarkobri]

I thought it was pretty funny when our crim law prof dismissed the only guy who's been caught unprepared this entire year. He said he hadn't read the case and she waved her hand and said, "Well, then we don't want to hear what you have to say."

It doesn't seem half as harsh as what's happening at other schools. I'd be scared to ever raise my hand.

[plumbert]

In leading the class discussion on the public policy implications of the decision in Borelli v. Brusseau (contract between spouses, not enforced), a student noted the couple had a pre-nuptial and wondered how that affected the outcome. The prof briefly discussed pre-nups, and gave an example of a New Mexico couple who had stipulated in their exhaustive pre-nup that they have "healthy" sex five times a week. "Of course," she noted slyly, "the clause stipulating the frequency of unhealthy sex was silent."

[eray01]

Student: This may be a stupid question, but . . .

Professor interrupting Student: Mr. Jones, there are no stupid questions only stupid people who ask questions.

[inthesun]

Same prof for all quotes.  He is infamous for these types of quotes, so notetaking in class is fun.  I absolutely adore him, but he tends to get off task a lot.

"An advantage to Alzheimer's is that every day is a new world."

"I’m prostituting myself; wasting my time talking to you people."

"No, the guy who died already lost his case."

"…and these weren’t idiots or immigrants or anything."

"Sometimes I get frustrated and wish I lived in Stalin’s Russia."

"It never occurred to people 40 years ago to be concerned whether the professor respects the students… I can understand the mafia being concerned about respect, but come on!"

[in response to class not knowing something] "You don’t have to be very bright to get along in life, do you?"

"Gas attendants are like monks who pray for the souls of all of us… we pay them and they smell the vapors all day so we don’t have to."

"We can all think of people who the world would be better off if they would just sit at home and watch tv."

[to a female student (wearing a sun dress) after she volunteered to get a book from the library] "You’re irresistible; they’ll never be able to say no to that."

"If you were in World War I, you were as fungible as a pencil."

[upon hearing construction noise] "The only way to end it is to kill yourself."

[tjking82]

My Con Law prof was discussing the effect of the Constitution on the States, and he made the analogy:  "I'm the professor here, and my law is supreme.  And my law is (then breaks into a yell) PARTY PARTY PARTY!!!"

I've never heard anyone yell so loud!

[be10dwn]

Student: This may be a stupid question, but . . .

Professor interrupting Student: Mr. Jones, there are no stupid questions only stupid people who ask questions.

"This may be a stupid question..." professor interupts, "I'm counting on it Mr. X"

[kristin1644]

Family Law Professor:  "It was one of those Vegas type weddings where they just went to Alabama."

[be10dwn]

friend of mine raises his hand to ask a question same property prof as my last post says "Mr X., this ought to be good"