I'm getting hard.

[nesty]

Now that I've got your attention...

I came into law school thinking I was a pretty laid-back, cool dude. I'm pretty sure that's changing. My easy going disposition is gradually hardening into one of snappish petulance, my smile turning into a scornful sneer, my bouncy step morphing into a curmudgeonly trudge. I'm a regular scoffer now. Constantly scoffing.

I fear that by the time this is over, assuming I'm not tossed in the klink for wringing some punks neck after descending into a spiral-eyed rage, I will have become a bona fide a-hole of the highest order. Which is something I vowed I would never let happen. Or maybe I'm just trying to kill time right now. 

Does anyone else fear for their once approachable nature?

I do feel for you. I mean, you see these nice and beautiful and good-looking boys and girls coming to law school for the first time and then, after a year or so, when you look at them, they are transformed, changed, devoid of their charm and vitality, stagnant, miserable, and neglected. True, the majority of law students have the above-mentioned traits before they actually go to law school, but the others who don't really lose a lot in the process. I suppose, one way to put it is to say that law school is for ugly, conservative people, in essence, for people who have no life. 

[Mon Ami Gabi]

Nesty

[chlorineblitch]

BUMP

[trouble]

Hey crazymofo - I completely identify with what you're going through.  I was completely excited about coming to law school.  I've always been pretty laid-back and able to take stress in stride.  By now, I'm a frazzled neurotic capable of going from zero to female dog in about three seconds.  It's hard for me to break out of the law, because I'm consumed by it.  I find myself identifying less and less with my "non-law" friends...and those lovely other students who attend law school with me are people I'd really rather not be around outside of class.  Television doesn't interest me.  I think I'm slowly becoming "the crazy lady next door who talks to her cats."

[19guy]

Some pretty strong comments in this thread. What is it about the first year of law school that has such a strong effect on people. Nearly every profession has hazing at the beginning of a similar type, what makes law school different?

Also, why do you suppose it attracts such ugly, conservative people with no life. I mean, yeah, there would be some who are just in it for the money and might be expected to be bad, but what about all the folks who wants to practice law or go into government or politics or whatever else might justify law school. Not disagreeing, just wondering (I am skpetical of the first claim).

[BigPimpinBU]

All of those "ugly conservatives." What is about them? ...The world's smallest violin plays for you. If you are in law school and you don't ilke conservatives, I doubt you are in the minority. You are right about one thing though - law school is full of miserable haters, this thread being a case in point.

[crazymofo]

My thread lives!

Quite the coincidence that I managed to spot it tonight.  After some hindsight, I'm now in a very sanguine state of mind.  Deadline for withdrawl w/any refund has passed, so I figure I'm in this for the long haul, good or bad. 

There's really something quite comforting in acquiescing to futility.  Don't fight it.  Just let the undertow pull you down, down, down.  How's that for melodrama.

I must confess, unless the comment was made referencing inner-beauty (whatever that is), I really haven't known many "ugly conservative" women.  Those flippin GOP functions show like reformed stripper rallies.  And all that repressed sexual desire...yikes.  Too bad conservatism has been perverted beyond recognition.  But that's another thread. 

Summary: I feel better.  I don't take the intellectual grandstanding very seriously any longer.  My pre-law friends are my real friends, everyone in my law class is simply a future contact.  The doctrines are settling much easier and the practice exams REALLY HELPED.  I'm comfortable knowing there will always be stress.  My confidence tends to ebb and flow still, but after these past couple months, I find this is doable without twisting my personality into anything gruesome and/or unholy. 

Maybe I'm not hard after all...but I haven't taken my first exam yet.  Cynicism springs eternal.

[19guy]

I'm curious why you hate your law classmates so much that after only 2 months you've written them off as ever being "real" friends. What have they done that's so outrageous?

[crazymofo]

I think maybe "hate" and "written off" are much too strong of characterizations about those I sit in the pit with whom I consider only peers, not friends. And I don't think that's rude.

Funny thing is, having gone through boot camp, this seems eerily similar. Major difference: boot camp = large group of strangers, thrust together to eventually achieve common goal; 1st year of law school = large group of strangers, who all think they were uber-intelligent entering but have all begun to second guess themselves, all while the spectre of a zero sum grading system has them all looking out the corner of their eyes at each other.

I've cheerily said "hey" to classmates in passing and been totally ignored. More than enough times to be called a fluke. I think that's rude.

Thus far, they are relegated to being only 'contacts' until proven otherwise. I could be wrong, but geezus...lighten up.

[avocat]

No not really.  I know it's hard not to let the stress get to you sometimes but you have to separate yourself from the law.  Don't let it take over your personality.  When I feel like I've done enough, I just quit.  It doesn't matter if I've actually done all the work or whatever.  When it gets to a point where it's taking over my life I draw a line.

god, i don't want you to be my lawyer