You won't ever come near a case if I need council, I assure you. Also, most schools (reputable ones anyway), Law Review is 70% grades. The bottom line is any job is going to be fought for at a lower ranked school. You have to be the top 5-10% of your class to get anything going for yourself with a firm. Unless you want to be a personal injury lawyer, and if that's your thing, so be it. Somebody has to chase ambulances, it just won't be me.
I doubt I will get my "ass handed to me" anymore than your typical 1L. This bored is for opinions and I post mine when I feel like it. Its easy to say you wish I were in your class when it will never happen. Where do you go/where are you headed? If you are so sure of yourself, how about we look at some stats for whatever toilet you are headed to. Last I checked you were backing up Roger Williams, the toilet of all toilets. Why stop there? How about the People's College of Law?
By the way, what will your hourly rate be? Will you charge by the peanut or will your time spent just be paid for by my allowing you to sit in a warm home for a few hours?