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Author Topic: Judah's Undergrad Application Essay  (Read 456 times)

downeyslayer

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Judah's Undergrad Application Essay
« on: February 03, 2005, 09:28:58 PM »

Hello.  My name is Judah and my dream is to get a batchelor's degree in turdology.  i greatly enjoy the study of turds.  there are round ones, big ones, corn filled ones, floating ones, some w/ a peanut in them, and sometimes there are even jizz covered turds (if you are like me).  turds facinate me not only because they look different, but also because each one tastes different.  as an example, if i eat a taco and take a crap and eat it, the crap tastes like, oh, a burrito; but, if i eat pizza, my turds taste sort of like spaghttti.  my dad's turds taste the worst after he drinks budweiser, but let's not go there.

I may also be interested in pursuing a minor in bukkake.  for you old adcom types, that is when five or six guys dump a load of man cream on your face at the same time, resulting in a somewhat frosted appearance.  i would like to determine the dynamics of bukkake applications, as there are many unanswered questions.  for instance, is the first or second load from each of my boyfriends more likely to stick to my zit covered, huge nose?  if i eat more than four loads off of my big man boobies, will i vomit or just need some peptobismol?  if i only let my dad put his weiner HALF way up my butt, does that make me gay?  wait...not that last part.

in any case, i would very much like to attend your TTT undergraduate institution.  during my visit one of the on campus frats was nice enough to make me the 'cookie' in a circle jerk, so i feel right at home whenever i go by that dorm.  if you are kind enough to accept me (despite my NAMBLA membership and 670 SAT), i promise to work hard so i can be anything i want!!!!  i will be something someday!!!!  WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Thank you for your consideration and time in this matter,

Judah 'rim my butthole out' the macabi

downeyslayer

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Re: Judah's Undergrad Application Essay
« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2005, 04:50:55 PM »
Judah's addendum:

Hello.  I recently applied to your TTT UG institution.  I would like to add this addendum to my file.  The reason for this correspondence is my reception of a very nice award.  The "People With Inverted Penises" club of Dallas awarded me with the Turd Ferguson Honor Plaque.  This award is given to the club member who fits the largest number of Planters Honey Roasted Peanuts up his as.shole.  I was able to insert six pounds of these tasty gound nuts into my rectum with only a small amount of perianal irritation (my anus is allergic to peanut dust).

Please consider this award when making your decision. 

Austin Powers

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Re: Judah's Undergrad Application Essay
« Reply #2 on: February 05, 2005, 01:49:50 PM »
 :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o  Poor Judah