Law School Discussion

Dating question

Mr Belding

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Re: Dating question
« Reply #10 on: March 23, 2005, 08:42:19 AM »
This is the bottom line.

He was listenting to his balls when he requested dinner with you. Get the free dinner but dont put any emotional stake in it. If he wanted to date you he would have made moves to do so a month ago.

Sorry, but that's my opinion. Being a guy i know how these thigns work. Im sure you are a very nice girl.

DeltaTauKyle

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Re: Dating question
« Reply #11 on: March 23, 2005, 08:43:19 AM »
In my experience, booty calls don't turn into meaningful relationships.  Enjoy it for what it is, but don't try to make it something it won't be.

Cheeks

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Re: Dating question
« Reply #12 on: March 23, 2005, 02:20:50 PM »
he just wants to hook up.  I've done this many of times - sorry.

lp4law

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Re: Dating question
« Reply #13 on: March 23, 2005, 02:40:32 PM »
As for the guy's reaction...that is actually what I'm wondering about...is he being for real or is he only doing this because he isn't getting any at the moment.

What is "being for real"?  I think your emotional demands are distancing this guy emotionally (happens all the time).  What do you want, a ring from him?  Do you want him to tell you he loves you, so that you can feel less guilty about having sex with him?  Are you Catholic or something?  Just bang the guy for God's sake.

...and by the way, I'm not trying to be an a**hole here.  It's just that I've been in this guy's position before.  I was actually into this girl "emotionally" from the beginning.  And that aspect of our relationship could have grown if she hadn't started making it a condition for sex.  That offended me, because it implied that her p*ssy was worth more than my d*ck at the bargaining table.  No -- it's a one-for-one deal.  D*ck matches p*ssy; heart matches heart.  You can't buy a heart with a p*ssy -- not in the long term anyways.

txgirl

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Re: Dating question
« Reply #14 on: March 23, 2005, 02:52:16 PM »
I see what you're saying, lp, but I honestly think that isn't the case here.... i wasn't using sex as a bargaining tool...

Re: Dating question
« Reply #15 on: March 23, 2005, 04:03:07 PM »
lp4law

That was gold - i wish i had a t-shirt big enough for that.  Maybe just :   D*ck matches p*ssy; heart matches heart.

And while i hate to admit it, lets face it, women use sex as a bargaining tool all the time.  You gotta play all your cards.


lp4law

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Re: Dating question
« Reply #16 on: March 23, 2005, 04:39:15 PM »
lp4law

That was gold - i wish i had a t-shirt big enough for that.  Maybe just :   D*ck matches p*ssy; heart matches heart.

And while i hate to admit it, lets face it, women use sex as a bargaining tool all the time.  You gotta play all your cards.

LOL.  Actually, I agree with you with respect to playing your cards.  But you've got to play them smartly, right?  You should use leverage (or percieved leverage - "perception is reality") to acheive a net benefit.  For instance, if you get a guy to buy you a car by rationing out the lovin', hey, then more power to you --> you end up with a car.  But if you're rationing out the lovin' just to get a guy to tell you what you want to hear, unless that makes you cum harder that night, all you're going to be left with are a bunch of illusory promises and misrepresentations --> big disappointment.

---Just my 2.35278 cents

Re: Dating question
« Reply #17 on: March 23, 2005, 08:01:00 PM »
Yeah, you are right. I think i was actually thinking of it more in terms of sex appeal, as opposed to actual sex.  (Whenever the word sex comes up, i lose the ability to fully concentrate - oops!)
And i would never want to 'trick' or 'barter' someone into loving me.
But if it gets me my way for the time being, i am okay with that.  If we end up doing what i want to do that night because he is much more malleable than I as a result of his horniness, than i won't complain.  (Unfotunately, no cars or exciting locations as of yet) And girls do this all the time. Its not the same as getting someone to be with you or love you because of sex, but to say that you don't use sex as a tool - i don't buy it.

Maybe this make sense .. maybe not

amarain

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Re: Dating question
« Reply #18 on: March 24, 2005, 06:13:21 AM »
Oh for heaven's sake, if you don't want to have meaningless encounters, don't have meaningless encounters! Only you can control you - it's not his responsibility to monitor and regulate your behavior by knowing to turn you down if you throw yourself at him. If you want a relationship with this guy, go out to dinner with him and don't go home with him. Be clear that you're interested in dating, not booty calling. If he just wants sex, he can get it somewhere else.

But honestly, I would just move on and start over with someone you haven't had meaningless sex with. And wait for a while to have sex with them, if you want to have a meaningful relationship. If he is really that interested in you, he will wait.

lp4law

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Re: Dating question
« Reply #19 on: March 24, 2005, 10:04:46 AM »
Oh for heaven's sake, if you don't want to have meaningless encounters, don't have meaningless encounters! Only you can control you - it's not his responsibility to monitor and regulate your behavior by knowing to turn you down if you throw yourself at him. If you want a relationship with this guy, go out to dinner with him and don't go home with him. Be clear that you're interested in dating, not booty calling. If he just wants sex, he can get it somewhere else.

But honestly, I would just move on and start over with someone you haven't had meaningless sex with. And wait for a while to have sex with them, if you want to have a meaningful relationship. If he is really that interested in you, he will wait.

I have a different viewpoint.  If you want stimulating conversation, a free dinner and someone to kiss your ass all night, call Poindexter.  Sounds like this guy's good in the sack; so keep him there.  Let him focus on what he's good at.  You need to learn to compartmentalize.  You don't walk away from a gold mine just because it's not producing oil.