Dear Adcom member,
I received your letter today informing me that I will not tread upon the hallowed ground of your institution next fall. Grammatical errors aside, I must say that I was a bit taken aback, but with further reflection, I must also admit to a subtle tinge of relief. I realized that, perhaps, I have learned more by being a circular peg to your endless supply of square holes. _____________ is a great institution, a rare find in the quagmire that is modern academia. When many other institutions are vying for reputation and rank, ____________ possesses the confidence and, dare I say audacity, to stand on its own as a tribute to the middle ground, the common intelligence, the every man. In a field of study overpopulated by brash intelligentsia, ____________ shamelessly issues forth its siren cry to mediocrity, mediocrity, mediocrity. As I argue esoteric points of law and mull over theoretical frameworks of logic at one of the highly ranked institutions I will be attending, your institution may cross my mind and I will think of you fondly, as one would a trusty old dog or a favorite tree. I will know you are there, doing what you did yesterday and the day before, turning out widgets who will someday deliver competent and steady work in my employ. Thank you for the confirmation that I, sir, am not a member of your club.