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Author Topic: Re: What should I do about my GF?  (Read 4267 times)

largepucca

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Re: What should I do about my GF?
« on: June 10, 2004, 02:50:29 PM »
Hi, I'm not actually a law school student, but I've been dating one for a year and a half. I'm about to move to Chicago now with him in about two weeks after he has just finished 1L.

I didn't really like being separated and I still don't but at least I learned how to be a great cook while he was away. I took up hobbies and found a good use of my time.

The only thing I can say in general is that it's important whatever decision a person going into law school makes regaring a girlfriend or boyfriend is to really think about it and be committed finally to whatever decision you come up with. I would advise not waffling too much regarding your decisions of whether to do long distance or taking her with you, though. If you are both committed it's got a chance. And honey, I for one don't think that most long distance relationships go down easily, even with a spoonful of sugar. They are really hard, and there's really not enough known about them, not enough studies. It's hard to find much information that doesn't repeat upon itself, and there seems to be so much advice out there saying how one can fuel the flames of romance by doing A or B long distance. Honestly, I have never gotten used to being apart, and even if you both put in a lot of effort, it's not easy, and you're never really completely happy being apart if you love each other. There's always going to be happy times and hard times and things in between, even so, I guess. There's no way to know 100 percent if it will work out, long distance or not, which is the way it is for any relationship anyway.

At least for us, my student and I, it was true that neither of us would probably been completely happy if I'd gone right away or even in the middle of the year. Believe me I debated it thouroughly and almost stayed a couple of times. The fact is, is that 1L is an extremely busy time in a person's life. That two people adjusting to the shock of school or finding new work and a new life in a new location is already stressful, add a first year of law school to that and you know what I mean. Who likes it, you know, but you do what you have to do.

Another friend of mine who just finished 1L went on a little different route. He married his girlfriend of 1 and a half years before going into law school part time, bought a condo, and continued to work at his job while going to school. He would come home at 9 or 10 p.m. each day To each his own, though I can't help to think how exhausted he must have been all last year.

Good luck thechoson or whatever your screen name is.

From a 25-year-old Chinese girl just talking about her experience, it's not necessarily great advice.

thechoson

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Re: What should I do about my GF?
« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2004, 02:52:17 PM »
Thank you.  Good luck to you, too.

IrishGeisha

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Re: What should I do about my GF?
« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2004, 03:03:06 PM »
Choson -

Option 1 -- You and I drop the drama from our lives and realize we belong together.

Option 2 -- Realize this (and this comes from someone who has worked very hard at relationships, has had some bad, some good -- but is fairly wise when it comes to matters of the heart) ...

A relationship can only *truly* work when both partners know who they are and what they want. 

You know what you want -- You want to improve your life, be an attorney, be with someone who is snuggly and needs comfort and love and will give you the same.

What does she want?  What does she need? Think about it Cho -- this is a woman who is asking for advice about a major life decision from people on LSD.  This should tell you something! Until she figures out her life plan, following you around will only cause her to revolve her life around you.

And so what? you ask ... a woman whose life revolves around her man is needy, codependent, unhappy and insecure.  If she is not now, she will become so.  If she doesn't want a roommate, wants to stay in LA -- then let her do so.  She is an adult and she can make her own choice and her own mistakes.  Or, create her own triumphs.

Do not marry this woman because you feel sorry for her, because you don't want her to be alone, because you fear for her.  Marry her because you love her with every cell in your body, because the thought of waking up next to her every day is what you live for, because you love the way she twirls her hair and shrieks when trading spaces is on, because you know she can actually live off of Peeps and black coffee, because she bites her lip when she thinks, because she always seems to lose ONE sock when doing laundry, because she's kind to animals and old people, because she calls you Shmoo and no matter what has happened in your day, that makes it all worth it.

There are a million good reasons to marry someone.  Saving them from themselves is not one.

Let her grow, let her flourish, let her fail.  If you want her with you -- tell her -- and then let her do what she will with the information.  You will have a better girlfriend for it, and she will have a better life.  And you will have a better relationship. 

"I have never seen a greater monster or miracle in the world than myself." - Michel Eyquem

guyutegirl (Jew-Lo)

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Re: What should I do about my GF?
« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2004, 03:04:05 PM »
and there seems to be so much advice out there saying how one can fuel the flames of romance by doing A or B long distance. Not everyone is the same, so ... There's no way to know 100 percent if it will work out, which is the way it is for any relationship anyway.

I think in chos's particular case, the longer the distance, the more romantic his relationship will be. I mean, you can't pee on your gf over the phone.
Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow.

thechoson

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Re: What should I do about my GF?
« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2004, 03:04:42 PM »
Option one sounds good. But so does option 2.  Thanks for the advice, Shermy.

IrishGeisha

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Re: What should I do about my GF?
« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2004, 03:05:30 PM »
I'm always here for you Cho -- you are the man.
"I have never seen a greater monster or miracle in the world than myself." - Michel Eyquem

thechoson

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Re: What should I do about my GF?
« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2004, 03:07:51 PM »
and there seems to be so much advice out there saying how one can fuel the flames of romance by doing A or B long distance. Not everyone is the same, so ... There's no way to know 100 percent if it will work out, which is the way it is for any relationship anyway.

I think in chos's particular case, the longer the distance, the more romantic his relationship will be. I mean, you can't pee on your gf over the phone.

HAHAHAHAHA.


WEll... I could piss in a jar, and send it to her. Express.

I only peed on her once!!  And i just couldn't hold it! And she didn't even notice!!! Which was f-ing hilarious. hahahaha

guyutegirl (Jew-Lo)

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Re: What should I do about my GF?
« Reply #7 on: June 10, 2004, 03:10:51 PM »
and there seems to be so much advice out there saying how one can fuel the flames of romance by doing A or B long distance. Not everyone is the same, so ... There's no way to know 100 percent if it will work out, which is the way it is for any relationship anyway.

I think in chos's particular case, the longer the distance, the more romantic his relationship will be. I mean, you can't pee on your gf over the phone.

HAHAHAHAHA.


WEll... I could piss in a jar, and send it to her. Express.

I only peed on her once!!  And i just couldn't hold it! And she didn't even notice!!! Which was f-ing hilarious. hahahaha

And how could she live without you blasting ass directly in her face or when you're feeling creative, catching your ass breath in your hands and throwing it in her face?
Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow.

thechoson

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Re: What should I do about my GF?
« Reply #8 on: June 10, 2004, 03:11:33 PM »
I am very creative with my gas.

guyutegirl (Jew-Lo)

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Re: What should I do about my GF?
« Reply #9 on: June 10, 2004, 03:13:03 PM »
i swear to god i can smell it from here....wtf?..what is that?
Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow.