married students

[bandit]

I'm just curious if anyone has any thoughts on married couples in law school (where one person is in law school and the other is not).  Granting that law school is notorious for being stressful and time consuming, does anyone have any thoughts on how this affects a serious relationship?

[1elling]

I will also be taking doing th law school thing with a wife and two kids.  Though I know it will be time consuming, my wife and I are prepared for what ever comes.  But, If I feel that my children are suffering due to my law school experience, law school will have to go.

[lawschoolafterdark]

I worked while my wife went to school several years back.  Now I am going to school and she practices law. 

When she went, we had no children. She attended a 1st tier school and spent all of her time in the library.  We hardly saw each other.

I attend a non-ABA evening program.  I stay home with the two small children during the day and attend class four nights per week.  I work studies and some at home work in when I find time. 

Both scenarios are tuff on the relationship.  The key is this, both people have to be on board with the long term goal.  Money is the biggest problem for most people in this situation.

Good luck. visit my website. lawschoolafterdark.com

[jgruber]

I'm married and my three sons are grown and on their own.  From what I've read it will still be very stressful on my relationships.

I think the children will suffer at least to some extent.  For many years I traveled extensively in my business.  It meant a lot more money but the things I bought could not make up for the time lost with my children.

The children will lose time with you and you will not be able to make it up later.  The question you have to ask is "Will it be better for all of us in the long run?"

[kslaw]

I think it can be incredibly hard on many levels. What I've seen...the student is aware of their own stress, is focusing on the long-term rewards, and as such, neglects the aspects of their life outside of law school, expecting the spouse/partner to pick up the load. When that happens, and the student is forgetting how much their partner is sacrificing, the partner can become resentful that their needs/wants have taken backseat.

If the student is careful not to let that happen (the other person taking a backseat), contributes as much as possible to household chores (even if it's just half an hour a day of straightening up, doing dishes), and generous with the appreciation, I think it'll be fine.

[jgruber]

I think it can be incredibly hard on many levels. What I've seen...the student is aware of their own stress, is focusing on the long-term rewards, and as such, neglects the aspects of their life outside of law school, expecting the spouse/partner to pick up the load. When that happens, and the student is forgetting how much their partner is sacrificing, the partner can become resentful that their needs/wants have taken backseat.

If the student is careful not to let that happen (the other person taking a backseat), contributes as much as possible to household chores (even if it's just half an hour a day of straightening up, doing dishes), and generous with the appreciation, I think it'll be fine.

And managing expectations can help a lot in this regard.  Make sure those closest to you understand what the demands will be on you and what they can expect from you.  Don't let them be surprised by your lack of time for things other than law school.