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Author Topic: To BigTex  (Read 10490 times)

BigTex

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Re: To BigTex
« Reply #120 on: February 03, 2005, 02:25:12 PM »
Let's just agree that you tease with your wife and I don't.  I think we both feel the same way about our wives, we just use diffent methods to deliver the same sentiment. 

This thread is now devoted to people telling me what a terrible husband and father I am. You decided to chime in w/ your agreement to that sentiment. Don't be surprised if i b*tch slap you for it.

All anger is born of fear.

What are you afraid of?

I'm afraid that i'm going to have to keep hearing you rip off little cliche's from old episodes of Kung Fu.

Redirection- that's a nice technique to avoid dealing with intense and dark psychological elements in your soul.

Good job.

Dude - you're seriously a pansy. Being an honest and open and emotional persone is great. Being a pansy is another.

I hug guys. I'm not afraid to tell another guy i love him. I talk openly and frankly with my wife. We discuss our deepest desires and concerns. We hug. We kiss. We joke. We love.

That makes me an emotional and sensitive man. I'm also a tough sumb*tch too.

You, you're just a pansy. Not that I mind that or would ever say so under normal circumstances, but with you all up in my face telling me i'm a horrible husband, sure - the gloves are off.

WoeIsMe

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Re: To BigTex
« Reply #121 on: February 03, 2005, 02:25:23 PM »
Really... Where is the humor in "You're fat" ha ha

If my brother-in-law ever joked like that with my sister, regardless if she thought it was ok, i'd beat the *&^% out of him

amelus

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Re: To BigTex
« Reply #122 on: February 03, 2005, 02:25:46 PM »
dont want to get involved in the larger dispute you guys having about spouses.  having said that...
I have best friends- I don't insult them, even by teasing.

no one says it is good to insult someone. i assume what you mean here is that teasing neccessarily is insulting.

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In my experience, people who are immature tease because they are incapable of expressing their feelings.

ok, so that's what people who are immature do.  i think most people can agree to that.  but why should that preclude mature people from teasing a friend for other reasons?

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Guys tease each other because they are mostly incapable of hugging each other and saying "thanks for listening".  

i am not as ready to make generalizations as you are, but i know that the people i know would not appreciate hugging and the words "thanks for listening" every minute of every conversation.  there's a time and a place for everything.  there is probably something wrong when people are incapable of thanking one another in a serious, mature fashion.  but why should that mean they cant also joke around with each other, including teasing one another?

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It's the same reason guys in elementary school punch girls they like on the arm- they're incapable of saying how they really feel.

nope.  as i said above, many guys can and do express their feelings to friends.  just not every conversation they have.  there is time to do both.

rwhitman

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Re: To BigTex
« Reply #123 on: February 03, 2005, 02:26:04 PM »

If you need to tease your SO to keep your marriage "entertaining", I'd suggest divorce.

HTH.

I never told anyone how to run their relationship- I think you probably inferred that due to your own insecurities.  I've merely stated my opinions on the matter and debated various points.

You seem insecure in that your relationship couldn't handle two people joking around, BigTex and his wife obviously can, and find their relationship more enjoyable as a result. 6 pages of rant is enough man, let this thread die already.

I hear America singing

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Re: To BigTex
« Reply #124 on: February 03, 2005, 02:26:17 PM »
I'm going to stop posting on this thread- mostly because I've said my part and I'm done.  People, as Benjamin Franklin told us, are able to rationalize just about any behavior.  I think this is what is happening here.

I think most humans respond best to honest, meaningful comments, not teasing.  Perhaps I'm wrong.  But I still feel more comfortable telling my wife "I love you" than "you're fat".  I hope that never changes.
"I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."

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BigTex

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Re: To BigTex
« Reply #125 on: February 03, 2005, 02:31:44 PM »
I'm going to stop posting on this thread- mostly because I've said my part and I'm done.  People, as Benjamin Franklin told us, are able to rationalize just about any behavior.  I think this is what is happening here.

But of course, you're above all that.

'lit

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Re: To BigTex
« Reply #126 on: February 03, 2005, 02:32:00 PM »
The wonderful thing about relationships is that every one is unique. You just don't know the relationship my wife and i have. Also, in that thread was the following post of mine, in which a nay-sayer such as yourself said I was doing things all wrong:

http://www.lawschooldiscussion.org/prelaw/index.php/topic,20751.msg297098.html#msg297098

you know what? i actually agree with you here, all over this thread, when you say every relationship is different and yours works the way it works.

the unfair part is that you spent the better part of the other thread preaching about how ALL relationships should work, and implying that if they aren't like yours they'll fall apart. i don't think you practice what you preach when it comes to the "live and let live" theory of relationships-- you'd rather condescend to tell us naive singletons how deluded we are.

"So, if that's what you're looking for, if that's the basis of your marriage, you are doomed to divorce. It doesn't matter how brilliant your partner is, how intriguing he/she is, how good looking he/she is - after you spend years and years with this person you will know ALL his/her secrets and discover that his/her sh*t stinks just like everybody else's. There is NOTHING he or she can ever do to ever surprise you again. You will NEVER EVER EVER again get butterflies in the stomach from kissing this person. The obsession commercial is OVER." (bigtex)

you know, some of us have parents married 35 years, or grandparents married twice that, or successful relationships of our own, and we might still believe in surprises and butterflies. we resent being told how our relationships should operate as much as you resent others' judging your behavior toward your wife.

BigTex

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Re: To BigTex
« Reply #127 on: February 03, 2005, 02:36:16 PM »
lexy -

Yes, i have certain opinions about relationships in the abstract and what is best. I'm perfectly willing to have (and have had) a civil discussion about the matter (as I have w/ maximumtennis in other threads).

The difference here is that people decided to stop talking about relationships in the abstract and focus on one indivicual's relationship and declare it to be a bad relationship.

I've never done that and I never would.

twarga

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Re: To BigTex
« Reply #128 on: February 03, 2005, 02:40:48 PM »
When you gave your personal example, you stopped talking in abstracts and invited the criticism.  I like a good debate, and you gave me a good one, Tex.  I hope you don't harbor any ill will, because I don't.

'lit

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Re: To BigTex
« Reply #129 on: February 03, 2005, 02:43:56 PM »
The difference here is that people decided to stop talking about relationships in the abstract and focus on one indivicual's relationship and declare it to be a bad relationship.

I've never done that and I never would.

fair enough. i read a certain condescending "you don't know this yet, but you will" tone to which i was objecting, since i don't think it's reconcilable with the "every relationship is different-- to each his own" sentiment expressed here.