Felony Addenedum

[arc87]

Any advice on content and grammar is much appreciated.



         I am a thirty-two (32) year old who returned to college after some difficulties and poor judgment in my life.  I believe that my recent academic record shows that I have turned my life around.  I submit this application after 120 consecutive hours of all As in five semesters at the University of Texas in Austin. 
   In June, 2002, I was driving intoxicated and had an accident.  Two individuals were injured; but by the grace of God, they fully recovered.  They requested leniency of the court in my resultant criminal prosecution.  There is not a day that goes by that I do not regret this mistake. 
   In any event, I accepted responsibility for my actions and pled guilty to a felony intoxication assault in Columbus, Colorado County, Texas.  I likewise accepted my punishment of thirty (30) days confinement in jail, a $5,000.00 fine and ten (10) years probation.  My probation has proceeded without incident, and I should be released by 2007.
   Prior to that time, I received deferred adjudication termed dangerous drugs in Houston, Harris County, Texas in 1993.  My friend had a marijuana plant growing in his attic, and while I did not reside there, I was there at the time of the search and seizure.  I received and served three (3) months of probation for the offense. 
   While in college the first time in 1992, I paid a $70.00 citation for public intoxication.  This was in Austin, Travis County, Texas.
   While I know there are many applicants with totally spotless criminal records, I ask for a chance.  What good does the goal of rehabilitation in criminal law do if even the law schools themselves will not give a person with a past history a chance?  If you give me the opportunity, we can both prove that the most admirable goal of the criminal justice system can work in certain cases.

[WitterUin4]

I'm not going to pick apart your grammar or anything, and I honestly think most schools aren't going to have trouble with your past, but I think they'll want to know that you're not drinking/smoking weed anymore. Because, let's face it, DUIs and drug charges are red flags for substance abuse, and attorneys already have one of the highest substance abuse rates in the nation for all occupations, except maybe meth cooks. LOL.  Actually, I don't know if that's true, but I've heard stuff like that randomly. So my advice: Address the root cause in your addendum.  HTH

[jayhawk]

I agree with mwitterone.  You need to focus more on how you have changed, i.e. you're not doing the same thing anymore.  Your good grades are demonstrative of a change, but I would still go into a bit more detail about it.  For example, say something like, "I have found a more positive way to spend my time.  Instead of going out drinking, I spend my time reading/going to church/spending time with family/studying/anything else that you do that is better than spending time drinking.  I don't need to drink as a release for the frustrations in my life anymore, or in order to feel good about myself."  Just say something else to explain that you are past that stage in your life and it's not going to be a problem in the future.  I think the fact that you have multiple charges could be seen (by them) as a trend, so it is necessary for you to let them know that it's not. 

One other thing.  The sentence "There is not a day that goes by that I do not regret this mistake" should be moved.  Where it is, it seems to imply that you regret the individuals having requested leniency on your behalf. 

[arc87]

Thanks for the advice.  I have always felt that my grades and the quickness of earning my degree are sufficient.  Should I include this in the introduction?  I like the conclusion statement.  I'm going to work on it and resubmit it.

[dr_draino]

While I do sort of like the closing line of this addendum, I would worry about using it having read your PS...you've got a couple things you're explaining away, and I wouldn't put quite as much focus on them "looking past this one to give you a chance" as it's not nearly as big of a deal really.

[arc87]

Thanks again for the help mwitterone and Jawhawkgirl

I have cleaned up the grammar, let me know if you see anything glaring  

Also I included a bit more about details about my recovery.  Let me know if you think I should do more  

Here it is:

I am a thirty-two (32) year old who returned to college after making some poor decisions in my life.  I submit my application after 115 consecutive hours of As in five semesters at the University of Texas in Austin.  I believe this commitment to academic excellence, coupled with the fact that I have been drug and alcohol free for over two years, is a strong indicator of the changes in my character.  
   In June, 2002, I was involved in a car accident while intoxicated.  Two individuals were injured; but by the grace of God, they fully recovered within a short time.  There is not a day that goes by that I do not regret this mistake.
   In any event, I accepted responsibility for my actions and pled guilty to a felony intoxication assault in Columbus, Colorado County, Texas.  I likewise accepted my punishment of thirty (30) days confinement in jail, a $5,000.00 fine and ten (10) years probation.  My probation has proceeded without incident, and I should be released by 2007.
   Prior to that time, I received a deferred adjudication termed dangerous drugs in Houston, Harris County, Texas in 1993.  My friend had a marijuana plant growing in his attic, and while I did not reside there, I was present at the time of search and seizure.  I received and served three (3) months probation for the offense.  
   While in college for the first time in 1992, I paid a $70.00 citation for public intoxication.  This was in Austin, Travis County, Texas.
   While I know there are many applicants with spotless criminal records, I ask for a chance.  What good is the goal of rehabilitation in criminal law, if even law schools themselves will not give a person with a record an opportunity?  If you give me the chance, I will prove that the most admirable goal of the criminal justice system can work in certain cases.

[arc87]

Draino

Hey read my revisions.  I worked on it for a couple of hours and think I have a better version.  How do you suggest I go about concluding this thing? 

I like saying


what good is the goal of rehabilitation......

maybe I should just dump the last sentence.

[jayhawk]

Arc, I like this one better.  I think adding the part about being drug and alcohol free makes a HUGE difference.  Good luck with everything!

[arc87]

Oh also the sentence should be liek this.

thanks for the help jayhawk


I believe this commitment to academic excellence, coupled with the fact that I have been drug and alcohol free for over two years, are strong indicators of the changes in my character. 

[dr_draino]

Draino

Hey read my revisions.  I worked on it for a couple of hours and think I have a better version.  How do you suggest I go about concluding this thing? 

I like saying


what good is the goal of rehabilitation......

maybe I should just dump the last sentence.

Talk to Lord Bartha about this, but my guess would be that really in criminal addenda you wanna make sure to only reveal as much as you legally need to, and then to just quickly say "sense then I've done x, y and z" and just stop talking.  Great words from my research advisor were "the more you say, the more opportunity you have to say something incorrect".  I like the intro, I don't know the specifcs, but I'd think you can trim some of the description of the drunk-driving thing down some.  I think you can probably kill the whole last paragraph, but again, talk to Lord Bartha as he is def. the expert in this area (he generally only posts during the week and usually posts un-requested on threads like this, so I'd expect to hear from him Monday).