Girl taking guy's last name after marriage

[yay or nay? yes, this is heteronormative, i know i know.]

yay or nay?  yes, this is heteronormative, i know i know.

a. yay

 46 (74.2%)

b. nay

 16 (25.8%)

Total Members Voted: 61

[nike6075]

Wow. That's just screwed up beyond words.

You're saying that it's actually impossible for me to be a better parent, based totally on genetics, even though I've seen evidence to the contrary?

Come on.  I said that there were some exceptions. But generally, I don't care if it's genetics, or experience or tradition.  If men and women suddenly switched roles you'd have a huge increase of crap-filled diapers, and toddler concussions.

Wouldn't it be possible that this is a result of that very tradition you refer to (read: reinforced gender roles) that provides that experience, and not simply that she has XX and I have XY?

Sure, assuming we're not like every other animal on the planet...

[jack24]

Wow. That's just screwed up beyond words.

You're saying that it's actually impossible for me to be a better parent, based totally on genetics, even though I've seen evidence to the contrary?

Come on.  I said that there were some exceptions. But generally, I don't care if it's genetics, or experience or tradition.  If men and women suddenly switched roles you'd have a huge increase of crap-filled diapers, and toddler concussions.

Wouldn't it be possible that this is a result of that very tradition you refer to (read: reinforced gender roles) that provides that experience, and not simply that she has XX and I have XY?

It's possible... but genetics are still in play.

[Trivium]

Come on.  I said that there were some exceptions. But generally, I don't care if it's genetics, or experience or tradition.  If men and women suddenly switched roles you'd have a huge increase of crap-filled diapers, and toddler concussions.

If we're going to accept that statement, then I suppose women being crappier drivers, less intelligent, etc. are all true as well.

[nike6075]

Wow. That's just screwed up beyond words.

You're saying that it's actually impossible for me to be a better parent, based totally on genetics, even though I've seen evidence to the contrary?

Come on.  I said that there were some exceptions. But generally, I don't care if it's genetics, or experience or tradition.  If men and women suddenly switched roles you'd have a huge increase of crap-filled diapers, and toddler concussions.

Wouldn't it be possible that this is a result of that very tradition you refer to (read: reinforced gender roles) that provides that experience, and not simply that she has XX and I have XY?

Sure, assuming we're not like every other animal on the planet...

Cool. I've singlehandedly proven that we're not like every other animal on the planet.

Actually, just assumed it.

[dashrashi]

Man, bud. I would really suggest you not get into it with me, especially with the cute little grammar lesson, which absolutely shows your ass with regard to your original point about yelling on a message board, for the rather obvious reason that, as Cady noted, common usage is that caps are used for shouting, and exclamation points are used for, well, would you look at that, Lord have mercy, I'll be darned, exclamations, e.g., "Wowzers! You're spectacularly dumb!"

As for your high-and-mighty perch w/r/t your poor sister, I'll not delve too deeply into the dynamics here, but suffice it to say that I would put cold hard cash on the fact that she doesn't "value your opinion" about how much she screwed up nearly as much as you think she does. Friendly hint from me to you--gratis.

You're welcome!

!

!

Wow, I feel so exhilarated from all that yelling exclaiming. 

Your patronizing is quite humorous. With you tremendous psychoanalytic abilities maybe you should try and figure out why you look down on unwed mothers so much. 

Everything I know about your sister's situation, I got from your post, and anything you've read into my "opinion" on the subject, you should know that I was parroting your tone in that post. I'd suggest you try to figure out why you look down on unwed mothers so much.

[jack24]

Come on.  I said that there were some exceptions. But generally, I don't care if it's genetics, or experience or tradition.  If men and women suddenly switched roles you'd have a huge increase of crap-filled diapers, and toddler concussions.

If we're going to accept that statement, then I suppose women being crappier drivers, less intelligent, etc. are all true as well.

Ooooh good one.  Rather than arguing directly with my point you came up with a completely unrelated example.
Do you really think that the majority of men have the instincts, experience, desire, and patience to do as good of a job as women?  

[nike6075]

I love how, every time this argument starts, it ends up being the progressive/feminist women who end up shouting "MEN ARE JUST AS GOOD AT TAKING CARE OF CHILDREN AS WOMEN ARE." And then guys say "NO WE'RE NOT."  It's very interesting that, on certain issues, women are so concerned about being 'equal to' or 'the same' as men that they would rather refuse than accept a leading role.

[Susan B. Anthony]

Wow. That's just screwed up beyond words.

You're saying that it's actually impossible for me to be a better parent, based totally on genetics, even though I've seen evidence to the contrary?

Come on.  I said that there were some exceptions. But generally, I don't care if it's genetics, or experience or tradition.  If men and women suddenly switched roles you'd have a huge increase of crap-filled diapers, and toddler concussions.

Wouldn't it be possible that this is a result of that very tradition you refer to (read: reinforced gender roles) that provides that experience, and not simply that she has XX and I have XY?

Sure, assuming we're not like every other animal on the planet...

. . .

::concludes that we're just monkeys, throws poop from diaper of baby without mother::

[Susan B. Anthony]

I love how, every time this argument starts, it ends up being the progressive/feminist women who end up shouting "MEN ARE JUST AS GOOD AT TAKING CARE OF CHILDREN AS WOMEN ARE." And then guys say "NO WE'RE NOT."  It's very interesting that, on certain issues, women are so concerned about being 'equal to' or 'the same' as men that they would rather refuse than accept a leading role.

OH! OH OH OH HEY FEMINISTS! LOOK! HERE'S AN AREA WE CAN SAY WE'RE BETTER THAN MEN, EVEN THOUGH IT WOULD UNDERMINE SO MANY THINGS ABOUT WHAT WE'VE BEEN SAYING! WE SHOULD SEIZE IT!

c'mon, dash!

[TNGA60]

There's a difference between wanting it, expecting it, and demanding it. In the case of wanting it, no it doesn't make him sexist if he's willing to compromise. The latter two, however, I would consider sexist because they demand a more firm mindset.

I guess it is important to highlight the importance on love in this equation. I do not believe that someone can choose who they will love and if the hypothetical man does fall in love with a woman who does not fit his predetermined bill then he would be stupid to employ a litmus test in choosing who to marry. I don't know if he is necessarily sexist but likely stupid and cold hearted .

Agreed. But with such a fundamental difference, I doubt marriage would even be an option no matter how much love there was. That's a basic incompatibility if a woman wants a career and no children, while a man would demand the opposite of his wife. But like I said, wanting (preferring?) it is one thing. Expecting or demanding it is entirely different.

Since now a days most marriages are consensual the man who demands a housewife and the woman who wants to be a Supreme Court Justice are unlikely to marry. So the point we are arguing is probably moot. My apologies.