Law School Discussion

Poll

yay or nay?  yes, this is heteronormative, i know i know.

a. yay
46 (74.2%)
b. nay
16 (25.8%)

Total Members Voted: 61

Girl taking guy's last name after marriage

Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #60 on: April 10, 2008, 09:56:13 AM »
So let me get this straight...

You don't deny that strong families are essential to society.
You don't think theres anything wrong with a woman staying home if it's her choice

So do you think a family is stronger if a woman stays home?  Or do you think that has nothing to do with it?


LHL

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #61 on: April 10, 2008, 09:56:20 AM »
Why wouldn't a woman want to take her husband's last name?  Unless you are famous and don't want to lose your name recognition I don't really think it matters that much.

The tradition seems to work pretty well though, and hopefully the need for women to be "empowered individuals" doesn't make them lose their maternal instinct.
I think smart people are often too smart to realize that the best way to fight poverty, and crime and inrease education is to have more stable families.

Responsible and loving mothers and fathers will make a bigger difference in a childs life than anything else.

I think it's pretty surprising that women don't want to believe that they are almost always better at raising children than men are, Especially since many women want to be better than men at everything else.

I don't think it's a matter of empowerment, just equality. Why should one person in a relationship be expected to give up a part of her identity just because she gets married, while the other is not?

My thoughts exactly.  If a woman decides to take her husband's last name, then by all means go for it.  My problem is the automatic assumption that she will do this.
I also do not see how a woman keeping her last name makes her a less capable mother.
As for the notion that the name doesn't matter, I'd like to believe that but it does to a lot of people.  I can't tell you how many men have reacted very strongly when I suggested they take their wife's name since it doesn't really matter.

TNGA60

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #62 on: April 10, 2008, 10:00:18 AM »
Man, bud. I would really suggest you not get into it with me, especially with the cute little grammar lesson, which absolutely shows your ass with regard to your original point about yelling on a message board, for the rather obvious reason that, as Cady noted, common usage is that caps are used for shouting, and exclamation points are used for, well, would you look at that, Lord have mercy, I'll be darned, exclamations, e.g., "Wowzers! You're spectacularly dumb!"

As for your high-and-mighty perch w/r/t your poor sister, I'll not delve too deeply into the dynamics here, but suffice it to say that I would put cold hard cash on the fact that she doesn't "value your opinion" about how much she screwed up nearly as much as you think she does. Friendly hint from me to you--gratis.

You're welcome!

!

!

Wow, I feel so exhilarated from all that yelling exclaiming.  

Your patronizing is quite humorous. With you tremendous psychoanalytic abilities maybe you should try and figure out why you look down on unwed mothers so much.  

Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #63 on: April 10, 2008, 10:00:55 AM »
omg if i were dating dash i would totally be all "go make me a sandwich" so she would have angry sex with me.

 :D and if that wears off, just suggest that in the honor of tradition, the wife takes his name and pays for the wedding. End of discussion  :D

LHL

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #64 on: April 10, 2008, 10:04:05 AM »
I wasn't trying to argue that the way to strengthen the family is by continuing the husband name tradition.
I was trying to make a more relevant point about how important strong families are. 

It seems like a lot of smart women are losing the desire to raise good children.

Educated women, on average have less children than uneducated women.   Why is
that?


Hmm... 1BA + 2MAs +1ABD + (hopefully) 1JD --> 5 kids. 

How does having less children equal losing the desire to raise good children? ???

jack24

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #65 on: April 10, 2008, 10:04:22 AM »
So let me get this straight...

You don't deny that strong families are essential to society.
You don't think theres anything wrong with a woman staying home if it's her choice

So do you think a family is stronger if a woman stays home?  Or do you think that has nothing to do with it?

I think each situation is different, and each decision should be made based on the best benefit to the children. I'm not going to short-sell a man for potentially being a stronger parent than his wife who could be more successful as a breadwinner, and I'm not going to discount a more "traditional" family if the roles were to fit that way. But each person should have a choice, and not a predetermined role they are to play based on gender and not necessarily on ability.


Maybe some situations are different, but women are better caregivers and they will always be better caregivers.  I don't know if it's the estrogen, or the whole breast-feeding issue.
I don't know why men are genetically designed to be better hunters.


Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #66 on: April 10, 2008, 10:05:34 AM »
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


TNGA60

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #67 on: April 10, 2008, 10:06:02 AM »
Gender is important. 
Is there something wrong with a women wanting to stay home with her children?
Women can shape the next generation while men protect and encourage development.

You can go out and do whatever you want with you life, but don't think that what you do is anymore noble than raising a child.

Go ahead and label me as an ignorant sexist.  I love my wife as much as any man ever has.  She's a queen, and her children will cherish her..  Hopefully your career loves you that much.


No, there's nothing wrong with a woman choosing to stay home with the children if that's what she chooses to do. But having an expectation of her doing that without respecting her choice is disrespectful at least, if not oppressive.

So, if a man wants his wife to be a stay at home mom and he will only seriously date women with this desire, is he a sexist?

jack24

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #68 on: April 10, 2008, 10:08:38 AM »
I wasn't trying to argue that the way to strengthen the family is by continuing the husband name tradition.
I was trying to make a more relevant point about how important strong families are. 

It seems like a lot of smart women are losing the desire to raise good children.

Educated women, on average have less children than uneducated women.   Why is
that?


Hmm... 1BA + 2MAs +1ABD + (hopefully) 1JD --> 5 kids. 

How does having less children equal losing the desire to raise good children? ???

It doesn't.
But work does often get in the way of raising children.
Women should get an education, and they should work if they want to.  

Either way, daycare is still a sucky substitute for a mother.

Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #69 on: April 10, 2008, 10:11:28 AM »
You know what's a sucky substitute for a father?

A jackass who doesn't think that he plays a role in shaping his children and who reifies traditional gender roles.