Law School Discussion

Poll

yay or nay?  yes, this is heteronormative, i know i know.

a. yay
46 (74.2%)
b. nay
16 (25.8%)

Total Members Voted: 61

Girl taking guy's last name after marriage

mbw

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #10 on: April 09, 2008, 09:49:40 PM »
I'm a big fan of the wife (or SO, ahem, sorry) keeping her last name. I mean, what's the point anyway?

The kids, however, are taking my last name, even if it kinda sucks . . .

Hyphenated, really? I mean you really want your kids to be the ones in school with the hyphenated name? Not to mention the fact that if you hyphen your kids names you must come to the conclusion that you're just creating a temporary compromise/solution. After all, if everyone hyphened, look at what a mess names in this country would become after just two generations.

My kids aren't hyphenated, only my spouse.  He was sick of being called Mr. W. anyway, so figured why not.  He thought about just switching completely over, but was over 40 when we married, and is very well known in his field.

Elephant Lee

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #11 on: April 09, 2008, 10:38:17 PM »
My wife took mine -- but only because her dad's an ass.  ;)

Elephant Lee

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #12 on: April 09, 2008, 10:44:58 PM »
I don't really care. We could each keep our own names, she could hyphenate, we could both hyphenate, hell if I like her name better I might just take it. It's just a name.
I thought you weren't the marrying type.

I know a guy who claims that his sister and her husband eloped and changed their name to Breitmün (Bright Moon). luuullllzzzzz

Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #13 on: April 09, 2008, 11:45:39 PM »
I'd like to keep mine, I don't care what my (future) spouse does. She can keep hers, take mine, get a new one altogether. I think I'd prefer if she kept hers, though.

Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #14 on: April 10, 2008, 04:30:05 AM »
I got married last summer and I had a tough time with this decision.  I ended up changing my name.  I want to have the same last name as my future children, and I'd like to be the "xxx family".  But I had a hard time giving up my own name for his.

just dot

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #15 on: April 10, 2008, 06:38:21 AM »
I didn't vote because it is a personal decision, and what do I care what everyone else does?  I think it depends on a lot of factors, including how well known in their fields each of the parties are, personal preferences, etc.  I live in the south and it is still very common for the wife to take her husband's name, but plenty of women keep theirs too.


Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #16 on: April 10, 2008, 06:49:38 AM »
If my wife had wanted to keep hers, I would have been ok with it.  I would have insisted, however, that she write her name like this:

[First Name] [Her last name]-[My last name] (dork)

If you were a Kennedy or a Rockerfeller, and wanted people to remember that your family is the shiznit, I could see hyphenating.  Otherwise, what's the point?

Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #17 on: April 10, 2008, 07:45:10 AM »
Regardless of what the hypothetical wife does, my kids are going first name only (Brazilian Style).  I'm thinking Nene and Kaka.

Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #18 on: April 10, 2008, 07:52:47 AM »
This is all ridiculous. Dudes - get some balls.

TNGA60

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #19 on: April 10, 2008, 07:59:51 AM »
I got married last summer and I had a tough time with this decision.  I ended up changing my name.  I want to have the same last name as my future children, and I'd like to be the "xxx family".  But I had a hard time giving up my own name for his.

TITCR

When you are married you become one unit and a new family. And yes that entails losing some of your precious individualism. Both partners having the same last name helps create a sense of unity and would possibly confuse a child. The fact that the husband's surname is kept (in western culture) is simply a matter of tradition and is of little importance to me. Furthermore, if a woman decides to keep "her" surname it is likely to be "her father's" surname and does little to break the cycle of male oppression that the fairer sex has endured since the Agricultural Revolution. The only way to truly rise above the inherent sexism of this tradition would be to create a new surname which expresses your empowerment as a woman.

Lastly, there are situations where I think it would make sense for a woman to not change her last name. My sister, for example, is a single mother. Her daughter has her last name because the father was worthless and out of the picture by the time my niece was born. Currently, my sister is engaged to another man and she has decided not to take his last name because that would a)single out my niece as the only member of the family with a different last name or b)create an identity crisis in my young niece by asking her to change her last name. Obviously, this is a less than ideal situation which I feel warrants a break from tradition. To do so for some feminist or individualist reasons does not make logical sense.