Law School Discussion

Poll

yay or nay?  yes, this is heteronormative, i know i know.

a. yay
46 (74.2%)
b. nay
16 (25.8%)

Total Members Voted: 61

Girl taking guy's last name after marriage

Astro

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #310 on: April 11, 2008, 07:53:53 AM »
I do, however, support Palestinians, along with most other indigenous peoples.  Should we be cheering, go China! Squash those Tibetan monks!  How about Aboriginals in Australia, Maoris in New Zealand, Zulus and Timorese. 

Who, do you believe, is picking on the Zulus now?

the Xhosa.  duh.

Well, that would be the correct answer, but then the analogy doesn't quite hold, considering it was the other way round a little more than a century ago.

Astro

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #311 on: April 11, 2008, 08:02:15 AM »
I do, however, support Palestinians, along with most other indigenous peoples.  Should we be cheering, go China! Squash those Tibetan monks!  How about Aboriginals in Australia, Maoris in New Zealand, Zulus and Timorese. 

Who, do you believe, is picking on the Zulus now?

the Xhosa.  duh.

Well, that would be the correct answer, but then the analogy doesn't quite hold, considering it was the other way round a little more than a century ago.

i didn't comment on the analogy.  i was just answering your question.  why are you so damned demanding?

Because you're always making trouble!   >:(

Astro

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #312 on: April 11, 2008, 08:26:02 AM »
Because you're always making trouble!   >:(

but that's just what i do.

i also build bomb shelters for when lsd crashes.

That's a lie.

Nobody trusts you because you're a liar.

Astro

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #313 on: April 11, 2008, 08:43:04 AM »
help, help, bearly's being oppressed! violence inherent in the system!

MARRY ME. And change your name.

Don't tell me you're a Celtics fan.  >:(

Merely a Python one.

Seriously? That's all it takes?

He didn't even get the quote right.

filet o' fish

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #314 on: April 11, 2008, 08:50:35 AM »
That's a lie.

Nobody trusts you because you're a liar.

you're right, everything i say is a lie.

 :)

Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #315 on: April 11, 2008, 09:05:54 AM »
help, help, bearly's being oppressed! violence inherent in the system!

MARRY ME. And change your name.

Don't tell me you're a Celtics fan.  >:(

Merely a Python one.

Seriously? That's all it takes?

He didn't even get the quote right.


TITCR.

Be that as it may, it was the perfect rejoinder to the rather-whiny "This place is so liberal, gawd" thing.

Astro

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #316 on: April 11, 2008, 09:08:30 AM »
help, help, bearly's being oppressed! violence inherent in the system!

MARRY ME. And change your name.

Don't tell me you're a Celtics fan.  >:(

Merely a Python one.

Seriously? That's all it takes?

He didn't even get the quote right.


TITCR.

Be that as it may, it was the perfect rejoinder to the rather-whiny "This place is so liberal, gawd" thing.

The perfect retort would've been, "No-one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle!"

TRad

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #317 on: April 11, 2008, 12:57:55 PM »
What a great discussion, for the most part.  This thread engendered so much interest in part because we no longer have a social consensus and that's a good thing.

Many posters here were adament that their prescription is the right way.  This seemed particularly true of those who defended traditional values.

The thing to realize, though, is that life rarely rolls out the way you think it will.  Mom might stay home for 10 years with the kids and find herself on the receiving end of divorce papers.  Mom might intend to work and end up with a kid who has special needs.  Dad might intend to work and get fired or disabled.  Husband and wife find that they can't have kids after all; thus rendering their arguments over a hyphenated last name into a tragic mockery.

I married young, took my (now ex) husband's name, had babies young and stayed home with them -- all the things that posters here are sooo sure make for a stable and solid home.  When I finally worked, I went into teaching (the most family friendly of professions).  NONE of these choices granted the guarantees that are assumed givens by some posts here.  Just a case in point....

Women and men are equal in dignity and value.  We all deserve the right to develop the fullness of our personalities.  How that is done is best navigated by individuals and their families in a highly individualistic way -- what works for one family may not for another.  We need professional options that allow ALL of us to have families too and experience the entire range of family life from diapers to baseball games.

That said.... I still use my ex-husbands last name as I have done for the past 21 years (Good Gawd I feel old typing that!  :o).  I will be changing back to my original name before law school.  My two kids (high school and middle schoolers) will, of course, keep the name we all used to have.  If I remarry again in say, 5 years would I change my name again? 

No. My point here is that life is tricky.  The simple answers that seem to fit in the hypothetical don't always fit in real life.  Be thoughtful.  Be flexible.  Be respectful.  Those are the best prescriptives that I can think of; the rest is just detail.

BearlyLegal

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #318 on: April 11, 2008, 09:31:13 PM »

Matriarchy and patriarchy are not two sides of the same coin.  Patriarchy subjugates non-males, reducing their power; matriarchy asserts that women have equal status and power, though they might have different gender roles from men.



Hmm...  I don't know if I agree.  I think this definition is a bit self-serving.  It's a little too rosy. 

I was thinking the same thing - In a matriarchy, by definition, women have more power than men.

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #319 on: April 11, 2008, 09:54:48 PM »

Matriarchy and patriarchy are not two sides of the same coin.  Patriarchy subjugates non-males, reducing their power; matriarchy asserts that women have equal status and power, though they might have different gender roles from men.


Hmm...  I don't know if I agree.  I think this definition is a bit self-serving.  It's a little too rosy. 

I was thinking the same thing - In a matriarchy, by definition, women have more power than men.

Perhaps what she meant was that in a society run primarily by men, women are subjugated, while in a society run primarily by women, men would have equal status as women.  I'm not saying that's what I think; I'm just suggesting it as a possibility for what MBW meant.