Law School Discussion

Poll

yay or nay?  yes, this is heteronormative, i know i know.

a. yay
46 (74.2%)
b. nay
16 (25.8%)

Total Members Voted: 61

Girl taking guy's last name after marriage

MahlerGrooves

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #140 on: April 10, 2008, 11:25:57 AM »

AAAHHH I was getting called on in Ks! Don't hate me!

that was mighty selfish of you

It's because I don't currently parent anyone except my boyfriend.


LMAO.  My SO feels the same way about me.  Especially when I get sick - I'm all "Abby!  Help me!"

Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #141 on: April 10, 2008, 11:26:25 AM »
Let's come to an understanding so this thread doesn't get derailed.  Human acts are selfish.  Get over it.

Your insistence on coming to an understanding on this is selfish.


just dot

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #142 on: April 10, 2008, 11:26:53 AM »
Interesting.  I missed most of this today because I was off parenting my kids.  I'm not saying I'm an authority, but I think I do have an opinion on this.

First of all, I do believe there are some basic genetic differences between men and women that affect how the genders parent in general.  Like everything else, that varies greatly from individual to individual.  I think by giving your own personal examples, you're all showing that not all women are "motherly" and that there are plenty of men who are very nurturing and will make excellent primary parents.  I am a far more involved and nurturing parent than my kids' father, but his brother is a stay-at-home dad and does a fantastic job (far better than their mother could or would do).  In this day and age, why can't everyone work with their own strengths?  If you wouldn't make a good parent, don't have a kid!  Don't expect your partner (male or female) to take up your slack just because you think your DNA needs to be represented out there.  Parenting is the hardest job ever.  If you're not up for it, don't do it.  Period.

Also, another thing I think we're missing is the way our society is currently structured forces many people to choose between parenting or a career.  I have given up 5 years of my youth to raise children, and fallen way behind in my career in the process.  If our country had a little more respect for what working parents could contribute, there might be more flexibility in the workplace.  Family life in the US would improve in general- for men and women.  I do agree that a daycare is a crappy place for a kid, but being stuck at home isn't the rosy, fulfilling picture that Jack is painting it, either.  It is the often the most difficult, isolating, and brainless job you can imagine.  Yes, it is rewarding to raise a child and shape their mind, but most of the day-to-day work comes down to brainless, manual labor (laundry, dishes, changing diapers, etc).  THAT is why highly intelligent women don't want to do it, Jack.  

If there had been more options for me to work while still participating fully in the parenting of my children, I would've jumped all over it.  If I hadn't been a student all of this time, I would be a crazy person right now.  I don't want to look back at 40 when my kids are raised, and realize that I did nothing with my own life.  I don't think martyrs make for good parents, either.  They just begin to resent it.  What is that teaching the children?

Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #143 on: April 10, 2008, 11:29:19 AM »
Interesting.  I missed most of this today because I was off parenting my kids.  I'm not saying I'm an authority, but I think I do have an opinion on this.

First of all, I do believe there are some basic genetic differences between men and women that affect how the genders parent in general.  Like everything else, that varies greatly from individual to individual.  I think by giving your own personal examples, you're all showing that not all women are "motherly" and that there are plenty of men who are very nurturing and will make excellent primary parents.  I am a far more involved and nurturing parent than my kids' father, but his brother is a stay-at-home dad and does a fantastic job (far better than their mother could or would do).  In this day and age, why can't everyone work with their own strengths?  If you wouldn't make a good parent, don't have a kid!  Don't expect your partner (male or female) to take up your slack just because you think your DNA needs to be represented out there.  Parenting is the hardest job ever.  If you're not up for it, don't do it.  Period.

Also, another thing I think we're missing is the way our society is currently structured forces many people to choose between parenting or a career.  I have given up 5 years of my youth to raise children, and fallen way behind in my career in the process.  If our country had a little more respect for what working parents could contribute, there might be more flexibility in the workplace.  Family life in the US would improve in general- for men and women.  I do agree that a daycare is a crappy place for a kid, but being stuck at home isn't the rosy, fulfilling picture that Jack is painting it, either.  It is the often the most difficult, isolating, and brainless job you can imagine.  Yes, it is rewarding to raise a child and shape their mind, but most of the day-to-day work comes down to brainless, manual labor (laundry, dishes, changing diapers, etc).  THAT is why highly intelligent women don't want to do it, Jack. 

If there had been more options for me to work while still participating fully in the parenting of my children, I would've jumped all over it.  If I hadn't been a student all of this time, I would be a crazy person right now.  I don't want to look back at 40 when my kids are raised, and realize that I did nothing with my own life.  I don't think martyrs make for good parents, either.  They just begin to resent it.  What is that teaching the children?

This is, on the whole, an excellent post.

(Though I briefly made the point in the first part of the second paragraph a long time ago - but dot makes it much clearer. I'm just selfish and had to point it out ;))

Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #144 on: April 10, 2008, 11:29:38 AM »

AAAHHH I was getting called on in Ks! Don't hate me!

that was mighty selfish of you

It's because I don't currently parent anyone except my boyfriend.

because he's so genetically incapable of caretaking that he can't take care of himself?

Don't tell him I told you!

Prestjesus

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #145 on: April 10, 2008, 11:31:06 AM »
What about my spiritual wives, do they take my last name? I mean most are pretty young, so I donít know if I want my name attached to them for, you know, raids on our compound purposes, polygamy charges and such things. Besides giving them my name just personalizes them rather than making them the chattel they are in gods eyes.

LHL

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #146 on: April 10, 2008, 11:33:08 AM »
What about my spiritual wives, do they take my last name? I mean most are pretty young, so I donít know if I want my name attached to them for, you know, raids on our compound purposes, polygamy charges and such things. Besides giving them my name just personalizes them rather than making them the chattel they are in gods eyes.

I knew it was only a matter of time before you showed up.

Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #147 on: April 10, 2008, 11:33:22 AM »

AAAHHH I was getting called on in Ks! Don't hate me!

that was mighty selfish of you

It's because I don't currently parent anyone except my boyfriend.

because he's so genetically incapable of caretaking that he can't take care of himself?

Don't tell him I told you!

I wouldn't dream of it - it's not as if he would respect my opinion anyway, since I'm not a caretaker myself. Except of the carefully nurtured mess in my apartment.

just dot

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #148 on: April 10, 2008, 11:33:41 AM »

This is, on the whole, an excellent post.

(Though I briefly made the point in the first part of the second paragraph a long time ago - but dot makes it much clearer. I'm just selfish and had to point it out ;))

You made a ton of awesome points.  I tried to steal as many of them as possible, while being careful to re-word them just enough so as not to be accused of plagiarism.   ;D

Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #149 on: April 10, 2008, 11:35:17 AM »

This is, on the whole, an excellent post.

(Though I briefly made the point in the first part of the second paragraph a long time ago - but dot makes it much clearer. I'm just selfish and had to point it out ;))

You made a ton of awesome points.  I tried to steal as many of them as possible, while being careful to re-word them just enough so as not to be accused of plagiarism.   ;D

I think we learned earlier that it's only plagiarism if you use an exclamation point?

Wait...that's not right.