Crap. Things just got Way more Difficult!

[ChiJD]

Just found out I got into Univ. of Washington. Seattle is probably one of the only cities I could see myself living in besides Chicago.  I was planning on enrolling at Chicago-Kent, but now this throws a wrench into things. I have a scholly at Kent, but it's still gonna cost me over $50K/year. I know, that's a ridiculous amount of cash for Kent. So now with UW, I'm definitely leaning towards Seattle. Better school, less expensive, yada yada.

Only problem is my girlfriend. She's very supportive and knows that I need to do whatever is best for me and all that. We've been together almost 5 years and could see ourselves getting married. BUT, if I go to UW, it could be a problem. She has a great job in Chicago, all her family is here, etc. So if I go to UW, I'll be going by myself. Can that work for 3 years? Seems unlikely. Might she move to Seattle with me in a year when she can put in for a job transfer? Possibly, but I can't bank on that possibility.

So what to do? Take out more loans for the lower ranked school in order to be with the woman I want to marry? Or go to the better school with less loans and hope that we're strong enough to get through whatever life has in store for us? I'm really at my wit's end, as I have to send in a deposit ASAP. Any thoughts will be appreciated, thanks!

[vjm]

Going through a similar situation. If you take the better school, you at least buy yourself the option of coming back if you guys really hate being separated.

I feel for you. I recently had to explain the whole $$$ v. location calculus to the SO. We are at least on the same page now in terms of understanding why some choices are better than others.

Sounds like you guys are pretty solid. I am sure you will come up with a solution that works for both of you.

[JeNeSaisLaw]

Oy, what a rough dilemma. On the one hand, Kent is a very high risk investment (as J. Cash said) when compared (and really, when you aren't making the comparison) with Washington. On the other hand, a SO is a huge and important element for you. I think thought experiments are in order here.

I don't really have any specific advice or anything else to say besides good luck with your decision. I feel for you big time.

[LSApplicant23]

It definitely can work if you go to different places. I've done it through UG, which is a tougher and longer proposition than LS.

I think it takes a very open, secure, and mature relationship to get through long distance, and most people don't do it. But, if you've been together for five years, you've probably got at least a few of those things going for you.

[OldFart]

Having lived in both cities, I can't imagine any sane person choosing to remain in Chicago when given the option of moving to Seattle.  Tell her to pack.  If she refuses, consider committing her (involuntarily) to Western State;  you can always visit on weekends.

Or take a trip out there to convince her.  Southwest has direct flights from Midway, and they're running a sale right now (two week advance booking required).

[summerisnear]

Go to UW.

[AmericanGunner]

I feel you right now - I've been in a long distance relationship with my GF for a long time - I was working in DC while she was doing a DVM in the south. It can be done, but you both have got to want it, and work for it.

If you can answer that question (do you both want it?) then the next answer is obvious - Seattle is a little warmer in the winter and UW is 3x better than Chicago-Kent.

The only thing to worry about is making sure she has something that keeps her as busy as you will be with law school - moving is never easy, and moving to a new place only to feel left behind by the person you moved with is even harder.

And if you're a praying man, you should pray. If you aren't, give it a try anyway. 

[ChiJD]

Well, I'm going to Seattle. I just can't pass up the greater career opportunities that UW will provide over Kent. UW dominates seattle, and the PNW. Kent is always going to be 3rd Fiddle (at best) in the Chicago market, and that's too much of a risk for me. My gf will come visit the first semester a few times in order to see if she could envision herself moving there as well. Other than that, it's very up in the air, and there's probably a very good chance that it will end up not working out and we'll go our seperate ways That's life though, I suppose. But I'm hoping she'll love it as much as I do, and want to move out there with me eventually!

[vjm]

Well, I'm going to Seattle. I just can't pass up the greater career opportunities that UW will provide over Kent. UW dominates seattle, and the PNW. Kent is always going to be 3rd Fiddle (at best) in the Chicago market, and that's too much of a risk for me. My gf will come visit the first semester a few times in order to see if she could envision herself moving there as well. Other than that, it's very up in the air, and there's probably a very good chance that it will end up not working out and we'll go our seperate ways That's life though, I suppose. But I'm hoping she'll love it as much as I do, and want to move out there with me eventually!

I think you are making a good, although painful, choice. Besides, you know it will only take one or two visits before she has all her stuffed packed and moves. Be sure to arrange a visit in the freezing months. That'll do it.

As someone who will probably have to make this same choice, the upside is you get to see if this is a relationship that can go the distance. Wishing you luck!

[OldFart]

Good luck out there.  I can strongly recommend Saigon City (Redmond) for pho, Red Mill Burgers (6500 Greenwood), and Palisades (Magnolia -- expensive, but worth it) for romantic dinners, e.g., Valentine's Day or getting engaged/married.

Oh -- stay away from Than Bros. unless they've fixed their dishwasher.    Nothing like noticing that every pair of chopsticks is covered with grease and filth, and then realizing that the bowl they put your pho in was probably in the same shape.