Great Moments in Public Transportation

[Burning Sands, Esq.]

Okay all this talk of subways and with the high price of gas I decided to take the train into work today. While I dont have any "wonderful nasty stories" like NYC..I will say the ATL has some interesting looking people on the trains..I am not sure who said it was ok to show your belly fat when you have dunlap..(belly done lapped over your pants) but apparently it is a new trend for some full figured ladies. One woman had on black fuzzy house shoes(that made that swishing sound on the concrete you know how slippers sound) a tight green pair of capri pants and a black shirt that was two sizes tooo small. I am convinced her poor stomach was fighting for air. Behind her was a woman at least -I think it was a woman- with short blond hair, aviator shades and a brown leisure suit. I decided whatever friends these ladies had they must not love them,sending them out looking like that.

 

Classic.  People watching is one of my favorite pastimes in the city.

Again, this morning I had a lady who attempte to spoon me just like the last lady did. (is there something in the water?)  But before she could get too close I punched her in the back with my left hand.     LOL  OK that sounds worse than what it really was.  It wasn't a "Punch" punch per se. Not like a Rocky Balboa, Mike Tyson punch, more like a "Hey-watchout-there-now!" punch.  A love tap if you will.  Just wanted to let homegirl know there wasn't going to be any spooning today on my train ride in.  After I punched her, she quickly appologized to me, and then moved over to her right and started spooning this OTHER GUY who was standing to my right.  WTF?   I guess somebody had to get spooned eh?

[Burning Sands, Esq.]

Okay all this talk of subways and with the high price of gas I decided to take the train into work today. While I dont have any "wonderful nasty stories" like NYC..I will say the ATL has some interesting looking people on the trains..I am not sure who said it was ok to show your belly fat when you have dunlap..(belly done lapped over your pants) but apparently it is a new trend for some full figured ladies. One woman had on black fuzzy house shoes(that made that swishing sound on the concrete you know how slippers sound) a tight green pair of capri pants and a black shirt that was two sizes tooo small. I am convinced her poor stomach was fighting for air. Behind her was a woman at least -I think it was a woman- with short blond hair, aviator shades and a brown leisure suit. I decided whatever friends these ladies had they must not love them,sending them out looking like that.

 

Classic.  People watching is one of my favorite pastimes in the city.

Again, this morning I had a lady who attempte to spoon me just like the last lady did. (is there something in the water?)  But before she could get too close I punched her in the back with my left hand.     LOL  OK that sounds worse than what it really was.  It wasn't a "Punch" punch per se. Not like a Rocky Balboa, Mike Tyson punch, more like a "Hey-watchout-there-now!" punch.  A love tap if you will.  Just wanted to let homegirl know there wasn't going to be any spooning today on my train ride in.  After I punched her, she quickly appologized to me, and then moved over to her right and started spooning this OTHER GUY who was standing to my right.  WTF?   I guess somebody had to get spooned eh?

I can't even get spooned when I WANT to get spooned! Maybe I should start riding the bus so I can get some cheap thrills.

5 minutes on the 2 train in the morning will clear that problem right up!

[$Bill]

Or the E at 730 am

Okay all this talk of subways and with the high price of gas I decided to take the train into work today. While I dont have any "wonderful nasty stories" like NYC..I will say the ATL has some interesting looking people on the trains..I am not sure who said it was ok to show your belly fat when you have dunlap..(belly done lapped over your pants) but apparently it is a new trend for some full figured ladies. One woman had on black fuzzy house shoes(that made that swishing sound on the concrete you know how slippers sound) a tight green pair of capri pants and a black shirt that was two sizes tooo small. I am convinced her poor stomach was fighting for air. Behind her was a woman at least -I think it was a woman- with short blond hair, aviator shades and a brown leisure suit. I decided whatever friends these ladies had they must not love them,sending them out looking like that.

 

Classic.  People watching is one of my favorite pastimes in the city.

Again, this morning I had a lady who attempte to spoon me just like the last lady did. (is there something in the water?)  But before she could get too close I punched her in the back with my left hand.     LOL  OK that sounds worse than what it really was.  It wasn't a "Punch" punch per se. Not like a Rocky Balboa, Mike Tyson punch, more like a "Hey-watchout-there-now!" punch.  A love tap if you will.  Just wanted to let homegirl know there wasn't going to be any spooning today on my train ride in.  After I punched her, she quickly appologized to me, and then moved over to her right and started spooning this OTHER GUY who was standing to my right.  WTF?   I guess somebody had to get spooned eh?

I can't even get spooned when I WANT to get spooned! Maybe I should start riding the bus so I can get some cheap thrills.

5 minutes on the 2 train in the morning will clear that problem right up!

[Burning Sands, Esq.]

The E....


ah the memories.


Some subways have more character than others.  Like, I don't think there's ever been a time when I was on the N,Q,R,W line when somebody or somebodies did not bust out in full song or dance.  Every single time.

[$Bill]

I find of all the trains the 7 at 525 will have the most anger, conflict, and disgustingness.

[Special Agent Dana Scully]

I always see a lot of stuff on the 3,4,& 6 for some reason.

Also....one time, my mom and I were going home on the C train right.  So in front of us was this couple--straight up hoodrats.  Homegirl was prego.  She and homeboy were arguing.  Tell me why this chic was basically trying to egg him on into hitting her.  I was like wtf yo.  She was like, how come you aren't hitting me right now?  How come you aren't spitting on me?  How come you ain't peeing on me? 

Now, I'm like...yo, am I watching the RKelly tape?  Piss?  And you're pregnant?  Horrible.

Then when it was there stop, she wouldn't let him get off the train and they somehow he gets out and they both tumble onto the ground. I was just SMH as the train pulled away.

[$Bill]

I always see a lot of stuff on the 3,4,& 6 for some reason.

Also....one time, my mom and I were going home on the C train right.  So in front of us was this couple--straight up hoodrats.  Homegirl was prego.  She and homeboy were arguing.  Tell me why this chic was basically trying to egg him on into hitting her.  I was like wtf yo.  She was like, how come you aren't hitting me right now?  How come you aren't spitting on me?  How come you ain't peeing on me? 

Now, I'm like...yo, am I watching the RKelly tape?  Piss?  And you're pregnant?  Horrible.

Then when it was there stop, she wouldn't let him get off the train and they somehow he gets out and they both tumble onto the ground. I was just SMH as the train pulled away.

I dont get it

[A.]

She was like, how come you aren't hitting me right now?  How come you aren't spitting on me?  How come you ain't peeing on me?

SMDH.  Spitting and peeing?  That's what she's come to expect?  So they get into an argument, and he whips it out and pisses on her?  Again, SMDH.

[Special Agent Dana Scully]

She was like, how come you aren't hitting me right now?  How come you aren't spitting on me?  How come you ain't peeing on me?

SMDH.  Spitting and peeing?  That's what she's come to expect?  So they get into an argument, and he whips it out and pisses on her?  Again, SMDH.

Umm .... you did not happen to get her phone number did ya? I mean, I just want to call and make sure she's ok and all you know 

hell no.  i was really just looking at them and so surprised at what i was witnessing.  everyone in the vicinity was either laughing or STH.

[Burning Sands, Esq.]

Oh Oh Oh!!!  That reminds me...How could I forget my best experience of late - the M60 bus to LaGuardia!!!!

Have you ridden this bus?  Full of characters like MCB just described, packed 10 times more than the subway.

So for those not from NY, the M60 bus runs from Manhattan to LaGuardia airport in Queens.  Its a very inexpensive (only $2) way to get to the airport and from my stop in Harlem at 125th and Lenox, it only took 30 minutes to get there.

Now, the PROBLEM (and I do mean this is a problem that the city should look into) is that the bus still picks up everybody else and their kid brother along the way, regardless if they are going to the airport or not. So you got mad folks trying to get to the airport with luggage and big bags, etc. trying to cram in next to everybody else who is too lazy to wait for the next bus behind the M60.   

No Bullsh!t, from 125th & Lenox, this damn bus must have stopped about 20 times!!!  Half of those stops were on 125th street alone!!!   I mean WTF?!?!   I literally saw a dozen people get on the bus at 3rd ave, ride for a minute, and then got off at 2nd ave.  WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   

Are you serious?  And its not like they didn't see the 100 people with luggage already packed onto this thing when the damn bus pulled up.  But I guess your ride for only one block and the 5 minutes we wasted to let you and everybody else with you on the bus as the bus driver attemped to pack it like some kinda gotdamn clown car was more important than everybody else who had flights to catch huh? 

This one older lady with a walker got on and I felt sorry for the lady at first because she seemed kinda helpless at first, but then her cell phone rang and she picks it up and says in the most ghetto accent I've ever heard "Ni@@a What?  Will you stay the hell out my damn bid-ness.  I SAAAAAIIIIIIID get out my bid-ness!!!  I SAAAAAAAIIIIIID...hol' up...somebody ring the bell for me please, ok thank you....I SAAAAAAAIIIIID stay out my damn bid-ness fool!"



My people.