I got the best one yet!
Riding the train (of course), on the 2/3 at around 116th. The doors almost close, but not before this cat gets on. As soon as he stepped in the door, I promise, I had a vibe like this cat was trouble. First of all, he had on a long Laker's jersey, shorts, Timbs, a skully cap, and GOGGLES. Yes, goggles, like swimming goggles. You already know once you see somebody walking around in goggles its only a matter of time before comedy ensues. But the best part about this cats outfit, he had a yellow plastic baseball bat tucked into his belt like a samurai sword, and has he walked down the aisle it kept swinging behind him, hitting people who were sitting down.
So this cat walks all the way to the back of the train, pulls out his bat like a sword, and shouts at the top of his lungs, "Look here damnit! The next one of you motherf*ckers who calls me a ni@#er...I'm gonna punch you in your fu#*ing face! Don't think I'm playin! My name is [says his name but I forgot it, something Green I think], and you can run tell dat. Tell the police! I don't care! I'll call my attorney!"
Nobody on the entire train said NOTHING. Homeboy punked the entire train. Dead silence.
I think it was his tone. When he walked onto the train, he was walkin with a mean limp, like he had something on his mind. He was doing the kind of walk you do when you are pissed about something. And he was shouting like he was seriously about to fight somebody.
I woulda paid somebody $100 at that moment to say "Ni@#a" right after he gave his speech just to see what woulda happened. But based on how crazy this cat looked and was acting, I really believe he would have tried to hit somebody for real.